Up to our knees in chocolate and Baileys

I'm sure we could last a year on the chocolate, and two years or more on the Baileys we have received - people must know we are gluttonous hedonists, LOL! The sad thing is, I can't eat or drink any of it until Isabelle is over the colic, for which I have given up dairy. Oh well, only about another 5 weeks or so to go. Probably just as well, as I still have about a stone of baby-weight to lose.

Tamsin has had a great day, waking up around 7.30am and enjoying opening her stocking gifts. After dressing and breakfast, she opened one present, which was an impulse purchase yesterday late afternoon, when we all walked into town and went to the chemists. Every time we have been in there, Tamsin has gathered as many of the soft toy pink kittens she could find and carried them round while I've been getting what I needed. I had thought about getting her one but forgot, so I sneaked one into my shopping when she wasn't looking, and she was thrilled this morning. She wouldn't let go of it, and took it to church with us this morning for the traditional kids' "show and tell" with a favourite present. She agreed to go up to the front with me to show it to everyone, to my surprise, but she won't speak to people she doesn't know very well, though, so refused to tell Phil, our minister, what the kitten's name was. She never has said a word to him, and he's on a charm offensive to win her over. "Maybe if I stay here 20 years, I'll get her to speak to me" he said.

After stopping off to put flowers on Benjamin's grave, we got home to more leisurely present opening. Tamsin enjoyed her presents very much to start with, especially the ladybird raincoat and welly boots from Grandpa and the LeapPad and roller skates from us, but behaviour deteriorated later on with her just wanting to rip all and any presents open with little concern for what was inside or who it was for. It all gets a bit too much for a 3-year old, obviously. Mind you, on a diet of lollipops, crisps, peanuts and chocolate, what can we expect, LOL! She refused to eat any proper breakfast or even my lovingly prepared Christmas lunch, even when we'd done our best to keep her hungry enough to do so. One of my NY resolutions is to improve her eating habits, and I may resort to a sticker chart/reward situation to do so.

Great excitement erupted when it snowed and it lasted, ooh, must have been ... 30 seconds or so! So much for our white Christmas!

All in all it's been a pretty nice day, and following on from Christmas Eve when we had a couple of unexpected visits from old friends who it was simply delightful to see, I've enjoyed myself.

Bill and I had kept on dithering about presents for each other, but eventually late last night we placed an order for a DVD player as a joint present, so that's to look forward to. Slight technical hitch - our TV doesn't have the appropriate socket to connect it into .... so we may be browsing the sales or the small ads for a new TV as well.

Christmas Eve....

Am I ready? - no! I went to Tesco at 9.30pm last night, expecting the staff to be busy re-stocking the depleted shelves, and they were, but not with the stuff I needed! Aargh! I'll have to shop again today. Also various presents still to wrap and deliver to friends, some cards not yet posted, and I've decided to give up on the USA cards and just e-mail them to apologise!

The good news is that Isabelle slept for a 6-hour stretch last night! The longest since that fluke all-nighter she did when she was about 2 weeks old. The bad news is that it was between 9pm and 3am, so I was only sleeping for about the last 2 hours of it. The other question is, did she sleep so well because she was still in her car-seat after our trip to Tescos, or because she was wrapped up very snug and warm in her big cuddly all-in-one coat-thing! I am very conscious of the dangers of overheating your baby, but I am slightly tempted to dress her in her outdoor thing again tonight and see if she sleeps just as well.

Tamsin's only request for Christmas is a lollipop - easily satisfied, then! I am appreciating that lovely innocence and ignorance of consumerism, as I suspect it will be gone by next year!

I'm sure there are all sorts of interesting educational-type conversations we've been having that I meant to blog, but busy-ness and tiredness means I have forgotten them all. Not that it matters really, just that it's nice to keep a record of these things as she develops and learns.

I may not get back to blog again before tomorrow, so I will wish all visitors to my blog a very Merry Christmas and a peaceful and joyful New Year.

Better late than never .....?

Soundtrack to my life:

“Long-haired lover from Liverpool” Jimmy Osmond – my fave and passion at the time and the first record of my own (my parents bought it for me) – please forgive me, I was only 10!

“Silver Lady” and “Don’t give up on us” by David Soul – OK, well I was still young (13/14) and madly in love with DS of Starsky & Hutch by this time. Also reminds me of my friend Sue, my only friend I am still in touch with from school, because she was madly in love with him too, and all the fun we had together.

“Hey Jude” The Beatles – was always the last smoochy song played at school discos

“Aye Aye Aye Aye Moosey” by Modern Romance – College discos when I was about 17 – I danced with a guy nicknamed Moosey who fancied me but the feeling wasn’t mutual… Also "Oops upside your head" from around the same time

“Romeo and Juliet” by Dire Straits – a passionate teen romance

Queen – “Don’t stop me now” – Those great wild days of living in my first shared house away from home/parents and doing wild and crazy things with friends.

“Shanghai Breezes” and "Seasons of the Heart" by John Denver – sitting waiting in a car in Madison, Wisconsin, USA on my first trip there with Bill early in our romance, this came on the radio.

"Perhaps Love" - John Denver: engraved into Bill's engagement ring

“For You” – John Denver: Bill and I – our song: "For you, all the rest of my life for you, all the best of my life for you alone, only for you"

“Keep on loving you” REO Speedwagon – Sitting in the Intensive Care Unit late one night, watching over Benjamin, only a few days old, wondering if he was going to make it, and the radio was playing and I heard these words: “Hey baby I'm gonna keep on lovin you, Cause it's the only thing I wanna do, I don't wanna sleep, I just wanna keep on lovin you”

When Benjamin died:
“Fly” Celine Dion: Fly, fly precious one Your endless journey has begun Take your gentle happiness Far too beautiful for this Cross over to the other shore There is peace forevermore But hold this mem'ry bittersweet Until we meet
”My heart will go on” Celine Dion: Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go till we're gone Love was when I loved you One true time I hold to In my life we'll always go on
“Never had a dream come true” S Club 7 - I never had a dream come true, Till that day that I found you, Even though I pretend that I've moved on, You'll always be my baby, I never found the words to say, You're the one I think about each day, And I know no matter where love takes me to, A part of me will always be with you

Shania Twain “From this moment on” – when I found out I was pregnant again (with Tamsin):
From this moment life has begun, From this moment you are the one, Right beside you is where I belong, From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed, I live only for your happiness, And for your love I'd give my last breath, From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart, Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart, My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live, I will love you, I promise you this, There is nothing I wouldn't give, From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love, And you're the answer to my prayers from up above, All we need is just the two of us, My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live, I will love you, I promise you this, From this moment
I will love you as long as I live, From this moment on

What was she thinking?

I suppose it's fairly normal 3.5 y.o. behaviour to put a wastebin on your head while sitting on the potty - and then empty the rubbish out of the bag onto the floor ....? Or have I borne a complete nutter ... ?


. 

We took the opportunity of having my brother and family here today to get a family photo with all of us together - which we haven't had since Isabelle was born - but Tamsin was somewhat unwilling -



She's hiding behind the Christmas tree... 

Eventually she was bribed with the promise of an ice-cream!


. 

Actually we all look remarkably cheerful considering how we're feeling. I got precious little sleep (again) as Isabelle had another bad bout of colic, and even though Bill tried to give me a lie-in by getting up with Tamsin this morning, she kept coming and disturbing me anyway. I wanted to go to church this morning for the nativity play (always a big aaahh factor!) but just felt too wrecked. And I'm feeling seriously overwhelmed by how much 'stuff' I've got to do and how little time I actually get to do it. I've been trying to do a birth announcement for Isabelle to send out with the Christmas cards, and only got that finished last night but still haven't printed them all (so why am I blogging instead of printing ....?). I suspect I haven't got enough Christmas cards anyway. I am still short of a present to send to the USA so all of that family's stuff will have to wait ... I have no idea what we're eating for Christmas ... I have no idea what prezzy to get for Bill ... There are a few people I wanted to invite for various meals/days over Christmas, and haven't got round to phoning any of them yet ... and Bill is just in a general decline because we had 'words' yesterday and he's grumpy ... not to mention our finances which I haven't sorted out for 3 months, and the enormous piles of clutter round the house.

I promise to try and be less gloomy tomorrow .... as long as I get a decent amount of sleep tonight!

Bits and pieces

Isabelle was weighed yesterday, and was 9lb 15oz - up from 8lb 5oz 10 days ago. That mummy milk is good stuff, obviously! She also melted my heart when she looked straight at me and smiled for the first time this morning - aaaahh!! She has been smiling for a week or two but only while gazing out of the window, or whatever...

I've been busy trying to get sorted out for Christmas but it all seems to be coming together extremely slowly - I did a bit of internet shopping over the past couple of evenings, and today, with Tamsin at her Grandpa's for the day, I made an expedition to Cheltenham with Isabelle and rather enjoyed going round the shops without having to play hide-and-seek with a 3-year-old! I made good progress but still have some gifts to get - including some that have to be sent to the USA - oops! Cards are ready but not the birth announcements that have to go in many of them!

Some milestones

for my daughters (seems odd to be using the plural, LOL!):

Tamsin is in bed without her bed-rail for the first time .... so I've piled up a large duvet on the floor next to the bed for if (when?) she falls out ...

Isabelle has moved into 0-3 month clothes today, rather than the newborn stuff. The Health Visitor is coming tomorrow so she'll be weighed again - it'll be interesting to find out how heavy she is!

Isabelle and I went to the GP for our 6-week check today ... all is well except she has a nasty dose of oral thrush so we have the oral gel and cream to spread about liberally. I'm a bit bothered about it as Tamsin had the same, and we never really managed to get rid of hers, in fact I think she's still got it as she is complaining of itchy 'private bits'.

That 6-week check thing, though, is a bit of a hurdle for me, as Benjamin died on the day he had his (although it was the day before he turned 8 weeks old). I couldn't face doing it with Tamsin so a different GP than our own came to our house to do hers. So this time I went back to our normal GP and feel quite brave to have done so. Not that there's anything wrong with him, but just a fear of repeating the same circumstances. It was important to me, though, that my Mum wasn't staying today, like she was 5.5 years ago, and that it wasn't market day. Anyway, it's 11.25pm and Isabelle is still alive!!! And have I told you lately how cute she is - she's just gorgeous!!

Spider and crocodile

were my first ever attempts at face (and arm!) painting:


Spider and crocodile girl - her favourite creatures! 

OK, so it's not brilliant, but Tamsin was very pleased!

The day didn't start well with Isabelle crying from 3.30am - 5am with colic/wind pain which was quite distressing for both of us. I had been intending to go to a LLL meeting this morning but was just too tired. Tamsin went off with Grandpa for their weekly day out, and as Isabelle was definitely tired by 9.30am, I thought she would probably sleep for a while and hoped to do so myself to catch up a bit. No such luck - she didn't actually fall asleep till noon. I wondered if the colic and the staying awake were due to me having a few Smarties last night ... the milk in the chocolate maybe? Will have to stay away from chocolate for a few days and see ... hmm, what else am I going to eat - that's what I've pretty much been living on! I think I'll be eating a lot of bourbon biscuits which don't have any milk in them.

So it was walk the floor all morning with a fussy Isabelle, both asleep from 12-2pm, then a few things done this afternoon which have been waiting for months - a few bits of mending and just 3 items to iron. I've pretty much totally given up ironing most things but there are sometimes just one or two items that really need it. I'm also intending to list a few things on Ebay and have been taking photos and sorting things out, and made a few phone calls that have been waiting a week or so. The address database for our Christmas card list is almost up-to-date (Note to self: update everybody's addresses when they change rather than waiting till December!) so maybe we'll get those out before too long. I'm probably already too late for the USA/other foreign ones, but everybody's used to me being late with them by now.

When Tamsin came home she had a magic painting book from Grandpa, so we had a little go with that (they're totally useless, aren't they?) and then the face painting and a bit of dinner. Now it's bed-time!

Where was I.....?

Picking up from where I left off .....! Firstly, I have to say how very brave I'm being right now - Tamsin is at playschool this morning, and Isabelle has gone back to sleep, and I am NOT having a nap but staying awake! Will I last the day without becoming evil bitch mother from hell...? I'll let you know.

The weekend visiting Bill's parents was a bit sad really - his Mum (age 82) has not been well for a while and is down to 6 stone 3, and is just skin and bones. We left thinking this might be the last time we see her. Added to which Bill's Dad (age 87) is either having a strange emotional reaction to the situation, or maybe is going downhill a bit himself, and is being quite unhelpful and nasty to her for much of the time. They were, however, delighted to see Isabelle for the first time, although a little disappointed that they couldn't seem to bond much with Tamsin ... she's very wary of people she doesn't know very well and won't talk to them or interact with them much at all.


Bill with the proud grandparents and Isabelle 


Tamsin didn't want her photo taken ... 

Isabelle's been quite colicky for the past few days... I have been trying to omit dairy from my diet but it hasn't been easy, especially with my main downfall being chocolate! I made strenuous efforts yesterday, though, and not a molecule of dairy protein passed my lips, so we'll see how it goes. The only thing that comforts her when she's in pain is sucking a parent's finger, so it's incredibly hard to do anything like get dressed, eat or anything when you have to hold the baby with one arm and have a finger in her mouth. Fortunately Bill was at home yesterday so we took it in turns to eat and play with Tamsin, so I am really hoping that today is better as he is back at work now.

On the way home from Teesside we had a disastrous trip (financially speaking...) to the Nottingham Ikea... hmm, Question of the Day - is that place an invention of the devil or God's gift to impoverished home furnishings buyers ....?

I am now very thoroughly fed up of the messy, cluttered and generally tatty state of this house. I want to have a huge de-clutter and throw-out of stuff but various problems arise: 1) I want to throw out Bill's stuff and he wants to throw out my stuff; 2) I can't find any time to do it due to permanently having a finger in Isabelle's mouth (see above) or trying to catch up on lost sleep; 3) if we threw away all the tatty stuff (torn furniture, grotty clothes etc) we'd have nothing to wear and nothing to sit on, as we have no money to buy replacements.

Yesterday (Tuesday) felt like quite a good day, mostly because I sat down with Tamsin and did some proper 'crafty' stuff, i.e. we did some potato prints of a christmas tree and a snowman and made some wrapping paper and some christmas cards, so now I feel like a proper HEer/mummy with a very glittery carpet!


Making wrapping paper with potato prints 


And Daddy helped as well 


Meanwhile Isabelle did this (between screaming fits ...) 

I am a blogaholic.....

Oh how I've missed you all while I've been away over the weekend! It seems rather sad to say that I spent much of the car journey time to and from Teesside contemplating what I was going to blog when I got back! And as we drove past Sheffield I thought of the various MPers who were doubtless within only a few miles of us... And due to being back late on Monday night, having no spare time yesterday and falling asleep at 8pm when putting Tamsin to bed, this morning has been my first chance to get much time at the computer. And then I get that dilemma.... do I read everybody else's blog first or write mine? I decided to go for the former, and of course Isabelle has now woken up and is demanding attention.... so I will have to try and continue later!

Doggone!

Poppy, our manic Sheltie, has been driving me potty for quite a long time, and especially now with another new baby, I just haven't had time to take her for walks or pay her enough attention for much of the time, so she's gone off on a long 'holiday' to someone else in town.... she may be gone for 4-6 months, and if it goes really well we may even hand her over forever. I feel a mixture of relief and guilt, but the relief is stronger!

Anyway, we're off to introduce Isabelle to her other grandparents (Bill's parents) so we're driving up to Teesside tomorrow morning and won't be back till Monday. I've been working on my 'life soundtrack' so will give it some more thought over the w/e and should be able to post it when we get back.

20 years!

Neither DH nor I can remember the exact date, but sometime in October or November we had our 20th anniversary of being together! We didn't get married for 6 years after that, but 20 years ago we met and had our first date. That's half my life! Amazing... If I was less sleep-deprived, I would write about the things I have learned from Bill, and and what our life together has meant to me, but my bed is calling to me very loudly, LOL! Suffice to say that despite driving me round the bend fairly often, he's a general all-round superstar and a treasure and I'm glad he's mine and I'm his!

The last few days have been OK. All that anxiety and fear I had about coping with both girls together has pretty much dissipated now - it all just seems very normal and manageable. Gotta love those post-partum hormone swings! We've done some good things - long muddy walks in the woods, bike-riding, train track playing and real cooking being done, and some things that leave me feeling guilty, e.g. too much CBeebies, too much chocolate and too many disposable nappies instead of the cloth ones, but hey, I'm definitely not perfect and never claimed to be!

I'm sure there was a ton of other stuff I wanted to blog about but, as I say, the sleep-deprivation is taking its toll and my brain is mostly blank. Must go to bed!