Some time on Friday, Shannon was playing with my purse and took out all the plastic cards of various sorts. I reclaimed many of them at the time, but must have got distracted. On Saturday morning, we got all packed up to go off to the Beans, went into town to get some lunch, cash and petrol before setting off, and found that my bank debit card is missing. Therefore couldn't get cash, couldn't get petrol, couldn't go. I was mightily p....ed off and in too bad a mood to face the mammoth job of investigating every nook and cranny of the house to find where on earth she might have put it. I'm also feeling completely exhausted, despite having had the most relaxing week of the past 7 years. I think it must be hormonal.
To top it all, the internet has been down since Friday. Bill has investigated everything he can think of including phoning our phone provider and our ISP, and there doesn't seem to be any answer to it. Last night he managed to set up a dial-up connection so have managed to download e-mails at least, but I'm feeling very web-deprived!
When I'm not feeling so grumpy I'll try and remember to update about our review appt with Jade's psych and about even a tiny bit of education that's been happening!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Time Out
I am sitting on my bed in my hotel room, all alone except for my laptop and a wi-fi connection. It is bliss! I am not going to link to which hotel until after I've left, as for some reason I am unusually concerned that some nutter will find out where I am on my own and come and harass me!!!
Anyway, here I am, absolutely revelling in the space and peace and quiet, thanks to the wonderful birthday present from my kind and generous hubby. I got here about 6pm last night. It was something of a culture shock after spending the weekend at a loud and muddy Greenbelt Festival! Greenbelt had its usual effect on me. It is the one place in the world (albeit that only exists temporarily) that I feel most at home and where I most love to be. There is so much life there. So much joy and celebration and learning and thinking and wondering and calls to action and praying and art and music and play and worship and quiet and noise and people and colour ..... Greenbelt is the me that I'd like to be. I do not have any artistic expression, but I know I want to. I am beginning to learn that it touches me and is important. Greenbelt shows me how to put faith into action and how to believe that one person can be a little part of changing the world. Having said all that, I personally find Greenbelt with children very frustrating. There is all this 'stuff' going on, and yet they're bored by the stuff I want to go to, and I'm bored by the stuff they want to do. It takes so long to get them ready and so long to get them to go anywhere that I miss loads of good stuff. I feel like a starving woman who can see a banquet spread out in front of me and yet I just can't reach most of it. So next year, I'm definitely going on my own (or with any friends who might come too). Bill is happy to stay home with the kids - GB doesn't have the same meaning for him and he doesn't go to much anyway. The girls can come again when they're old enough to enjoy their things without me.
So, on Tuesday morning we packed up the caravan, went home via my Dad's to collect the dog, unpacked the caravan and car, re-packed in a very different way for a smart hotel, leaving the muddy jeans and fleeces behind and putting in the floaty dress and high heels type of clothing, went shopping for easy food for the family to have while I'm away, kissed the family goodbye and went. It was surprisingly easy considering that Jade had wailed long and hard on Sunday when I'd told her that I was going to be away a couple of days. I guess she'd got it all out of her system then, though, as she didn't really bat an eyelid when it actually came to me going. Shannon was easy with it too, though how she's reacted at her traditional 4am awakening to find I'm not there will be interesting to hear! And this is the FIRST TIME I've ever been away from either of my children overnight, let alone for two nights, so it's new territory for us all!
So I got here, unpacked, settled in, got the laptop connection sorted out (high priority, that!) and then went for a quick swim and soak in the jacuzzi. Ahhhh, I could feel the tension just oozing away from me. Heavenly. Went back to my room, ordered my meal on room service and sat and watched "Maestro" on BBC2 which I have really been enjoying for the past couple of weeks. I hung a card on the outside of my door requesting breakfast in my room between 9-9.30am. Went to sleep. SLEPT!!!! I did wake a couple of times but didn't have to go and see to any small people so just turned over and shut my eyes again. Woke up properly around 8.45am. 8.45am!!!! Heaven again! Shannon normally wakes a few times from 4am onwards, and then is up for good at 7-7.30am. Stayed in bed resting in the peace and quiet, waiting for breakfast to arrive. Nothing happened. At 9.40am I checked to see if it had been quietly left outside my room. It hadn't. The card was still hanging on the handle. Argh! Quickly got up and dressed and went down to the restaurant and got there just in time before they stopped serving at 10am!
Since breakfast, I've been reading, thinking, praying, musing, writing. Much of it (the 'God' stuff) isn't for this blog, but I did get on to thinking about how to incorporate some more space into our days at home so that I don't get so overwhelmed and irritable and burnt out. I am just the type of person who needs quiet and 'head-space' to make it through the days, and without it, I am irritated by the girls' constant demands and need for attention, and I often try to push them away so I can get some 'me' time instead of being able to concentrate happily on giving them what they need. We need some more BALANCE so that we can all get our needs met instead of none of us.
So, what I WANT to do is to make two quiet spaces for myself in each day. Firstly, if (and it's a big IF!) I could get up at 6.30am for an hour's quiet time before the girls get up, I could think/write/pray and/or get a few chores out of the way. Then I'd have a much clearer head by the time they get up and could concentrate on them for the morning. Secondly, I'd like to make 1-2pm each day a quiet hour when we each go to our own room. The girls could play quietly or listen to story CDs or read, and I could either nap or read. This will need them to be trained! I'm hoping aim to get this into place by January 2009. In order to get there, I need to:
a) get Shannon sleeping through the night without me getting into her bed.
b) go to bed by 10pm and lights off by 10.30pm
c) set an alarm to get up at 6.30. I can promise myself that I can go back to bed in 10 minutes if I really want to, but I know that most of the time once I've been up for 10 minutes I will stay up.
d) start teaching the girls how to stay in their rooms quietly (particularly Shannon). I will need to start with 10 minutes, and be around to encourage and help her to stay/play happily and gradually increase the time.
I'm always much better at planning than getting things done! But if I can get this sorted out, I feel it would make for a much happier household and more enjoyable time together including better HE provision.
And now it's 2pm. I might just allow myself a little nap, before going for my full body massage at 3pm! Ahhhhh, bliss and more bliss.
Anyway, here I am, absolutely revelling in the space and peace and quiet, thanks to the wonderful birthday present from my kind and generous hubby. I got here about 6pm last night. It was something of a culture shock after spending the weekend at a loud and muddy Greenbelt Festival! Greenbelt had its usual effect on me. It is the one place in the world (albeit that only exists temporarily) that I feel most at home and where I most love to be. There is so much life there. So much joy and celebration and learning and thinking and wondering and calls to action and praying and art and music and play and worship and quiet and noise and people and colour ..... Greenbelt is the me that I'd like to be. I do not have any artistic expression, but I know I want to. I am beginning to learn that it touches me and is important. Greenbelt shows me how to put faith into action and how to believe that one person can be a little part of changing the world. Having said all that, I personally find Greenbelt with children very frustrating. There is all this 'stuff' going on, and yet they're bored by the stuff I want to go to, and I'm bored by the stuff they want to do. It takes so long to get them ready and so long to get them to go anywhere that I miss loads of good stuff. I feel like a starving woman who can see a banquet spread out in front of me and yet I just can't reach most of it. So next year, I'm definitely going on my own (or with any friends who might come too). Bill is happy to stay home with the kids - GB doesn't have the same meaning for him and he doesn't go to much anyway. The girls can come again when they're old enough to enjoy their things without me.
So, on Tuesday morning we packed up the caravan, went home via my Dad's to collect the dog, unpacked the caravan and car, re-packed in a very different way for a smart hotel, leaving the muddy jeans and fleeces behind and putting in the floaty dress and high heels type of clothing, went shopping for easy food for the family to have while I'm away, kissed the family goodbye and went. It was surprisingly easy considering that Jade had wailed long and hard on Sunday when I'd told her that I was going to be away a couple of days. I guess she'd got it all out of her system then, though, as she didn't really bat an eyelid when it actually came to me going. Shannon was easy with it too, though how she's reacted at her traditional 4am awakening to find I'm not there will be interesting to hear! And this is the FIRST TIME I've ever been away from either of my children overnight, let alone for two nights, so it's new territory for us all!
So I got here, unpacked, settled in, got the laptop connection sorted out (high priority, that!) and then went for a quick swim and soak in the jacuzzi. Ahhhh, I could feel the tension just oozing away from me. Heavenly. Went back to my room, ordered my meal on room service and sat and watched "Maestro" on BBC2 which I have really been enjoying for the past couple of weeks. I hung a card on the outside of my door requesting breakfast in my room between 9-9.30am. Went to sleep. SLEPT!!!! I did wake a couple of times but didn't have to go and see to any small people so just turned over and shut my eyes again. Woke up properly around 8.45am. 8.45am!!!! Heaven again! Shannon normally wakes a few times from 4am onwards, and then is up for good at 7-7.30am. Stayed in bed resting in the peace and quiet, waiting for breakfast to arrive. Nothing happened. At 9.40am I checked to see if it had been quietly left outside my room. It hadn't. The card was still hanging on the handle. Argh! Quickly got up and dressed and went down to the restaurant and got there just in time before they stopped serving at 10am!
Since breakfast, I've been reading, thinking, praying, musing, writing. Much of it (the 'God' stuff) isn't for this blog, but I did get on to thinking about how to incorporate some more space into our days at home so that I don't get so overwhelmed and irritable and burnt out. I am just the type of person who needs quiet and 'head-space' to make it through the days, and without it, I am irritated by the girls' constant demands and need for attention, and I often try to push them away so I can get some 'me' time instead of being able to concentrate happily on giving them what they need. We need some more BALANCE so that we can all get our needs met instead of none of us.
So, what I WANT to do is to make two quiet spaces for myself in each day. Firstly, if (and it's a big IF!) I could get up at 6.30am for an hour's quiet time before the girls get up, I could think/write/pray and/or get a few chores out of the way. Then I'd have a much clearer head by the time they get up and could concentrate on them for the morning. Secondly, I'd like to make 1-2pm each day a quiet hour when we each go to our own room. The girls could play quietly or listen to story CDs or read, and I could either nap or read. This will need them to be trained! I'm hoping aim to get this into place by January 2009. In order to get there, I need to:
a) get Shannon sleeping through the night without me getting into her bed.
b) go to bed by 10pm and lights off by 10.30pm
c) set an alarm to get up at 6.30. I can promise myself that I can go back to bed in 10 minutes if I really want to, but I know that most of the time once I've been up for 10 minutes I will stay up.
d) start teaching the girls how to stay in their rooms quietly (particularly Shannon). I will need to start with 10 minutes, and be around to encourage and help her to stay/play happily and gradually increase the time.
I'm always much better at planning than getting things done! But if I can get this sorted out, I feel it would make for a much happier household and more enjoyable time together including better HE provision.
And now it's 2pm. I might just allow myself a little nap, before going for my full body massage at 3pm! Ahhhhh, bliss and more bliss.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
A blogpost!
I really have lost the plot here with the blog. A couple of reasons spring to mind - with the lighter evenings the kids have been going to bed later, so by the time I get downstairs after putting them to bed it's 9.30 and I'm knackered and haven't the energy to blog. Also we've been doing almost nothing overtly educational. I didn't plan to stop 'proper' HE over the summer holidays but that's the way it's ended up. No bad thing, I think, because I was in a bit of a crisis with Jade particularly. Anything that looks suspiciously like 'learning' she runs a mile from, and yet I am not comfortable with pure unschooling. The summer break has almost been a covert trial of autonomous learning, to see how it goes, and I'm still not entirely comfortable with it as a complete ongoing approach. I think I would be happy with 90% autonomous learning but just a little insistence on certain basics. I have hesitated over buying any more Sonlight, and won't attempt to stick with the Instructor's Guide again, but might do a kind of Sonlight Unschooling approach with the insistence on a page of maths per day as well, or something like that.
So what have we been doing? Mostly the girls have been playing, of course. Jade is still mainly either playing with horses or pretending to be a horse or a unicorn. She got me to make her a unicorn's horn the other day, and she gallops round the trampoline like a flying unicorn. She enjoyed watching the Olympic show-jumping and has then set up some jumps in the garden which she charges madly round. We haven't watched loads of the Olympics but what we have had on she has enjoyed and been interested in. She has had a sudden rush of interest in practising on her Heelys which she got for her birthday, and in the space of 2-3 days made massive progress. I took the opportunity to point out that she could do that with anything she was interested in - some things may be hard when you very first try them but if you're interested enough in doing it, you can practise and practise and very soon you can do it easily! Hope that lesson sticks! She's had a major reading splurge, too. She got 12 books out of the library last Thursday and they've all been read, along with her re-reading some of the ones on her own bookshelf too. She's enjoyed reading an old book which my Mum received for her 10th birthday present and has passed on to us - called "Hildebrand" by John Thorburn. I remember enjoying it as a child too. It's about a horse, of course! I've also been reading The Barefoot Book of Heroic Children to her at bedtime which she's liked.
Shannon mostly wants to play shops, with amusingly unrealistic pricing - £50 for an apple and 10p for a big book! She loves dancing, particulary to some extracts of ballet music and apart from that usually wants to do whatever her big sister is doing. She has a few books memorised, and it's lovely to see her going through a book and hearing her get it almost exactly right, and improvising when she can't remember! She is funny, totally charming and absolutely full of life. When I'm telling her off she looks sad, says earnestly "I'm so sorry" and then gazes at me smiling and won't stop until I've softened and smiled back at her. She is always saying "Mum, I love you" and giving lovely kisses and cuddles. It's a good job she is so charming, because her aggravating side is certainly present too, mostly incessantly repeating "but I want to" in a whiney voice if I tell her she can't do something.
I've been feeling rough the past couple of days when the cough I've had for about 3 weeks suddenly decided to add aches, pains, high temperature and a sharp pain in my side to its repertoire. NHS Direct didn't think I needed a doctor, though, and it seems to be a bit better today than yesterday, so I'm hoping to be fit and well ready for Greenbelt on Friday! My favourite weekend of the whole year - I can't wait! But the fun doesn't stop there. My most excellent and devoted hubby has taken note of all my moans and groans, and for my birthday present (it's on Sunday) has booked me into a hotel for 2 nights ALL ON MY OWN!!! Oh the bliss - I'll be able to sleep, read, think, swim, have a massage, and do anything I want. It's going to be fab and I'm thrilled and I want to publicly say that I think he's fantastic for organising it!!!! It's for next week - Tuesday and Wednesday nights, and the only thing I'm not looking forward to is telling the girls because they won't want me to go at all.
So what have we been doing? Mostly the girls have been playing, of course. Jade is still mainly either playing with horses or pretending to be a horse or a unicorn. She got me to make her a unicorn's horn the other day, and she gallops round the trampoline like a flying unicorn. She enjoyed watching the Olympic show-jumping and has then set up some jumps in the garden which she charges madly round. We haven't watched loads of the Olympics but what we have had on she has enjoyed and been interested in. She has had a sudden rush of interest in practising on her Heelys which she got for her birthday, and in the space of 2-3 days made massive progress. I took the opportunity to point out that she could do that with anything she was interested in - some things may be hard when you very first try them but if you're interested enough in doing it, you can practise and practise and very soon you can do it easily! Hope that lesson sticks! She's had a major reading splurge, too. She got 12 books out of the library last Thursday and they've all been read, along with her re-reading some of the ones on her own bookshelf too. She's enjoyed reading an old book which my Mum received for her 10th birthday present and has passed on to us - called "Hildebrand" by John Thorburn. I remember enjoying it as a child too. It's about a horse, of course! I've also been reading The Barefoot Book of Heroic Children to her at bedtime which she's liked.
Shannon mostly wants to play shops, with amusingly unrealistic pricing - £50 for an apple and 10p for a big book! She loves dancing, particulary to some extracts of ballet music and apart from that usually wants to do whatever her big sister is doing. She has a few books memorised, and it's lovely to see her going through a book and hearing her get it almost exactly right, and improvising when she can't remember! She is funny, totally charming and absolutely full of life. When I'm telling her off she looks sad, says earnestly "I'm so sorry" and then gazes at me smiling and won't stop until I've softened and smiled back at her. She is always saying "Mum, I love you" and giving lovely kisses and cuddles. It's a good job she is so charming, because her aggravating side is certainly present too, mostly incessantly repeating "but I want to" in a whiney voice if I tell her she can't do something.
I've been feeling rough the past couple of days when the cough I've had for about 3 weeks suddenly decided to add aches, pains, high temperature and a sharp pain in my side to its repertoire. NHS Direct didn't think I needed a doctor, though, and it seems to be a bit better today than yesterday, so I'm hoping to be fit and well ready for Greenbelt on Friday! My favourite weekend of the whole year - I can't wait! But the fun doesn't stop there. My most excellent and devoted hubby has taken note of all my moans and groans, and for my birthday present (it's on Sunday) has booked me into a hotel for 2 nights ALL ON MY OWN!!! Oh the bliss - I'll be able to sleep, read, think, swim, have a massage, and do anything I want. It's going to be fab and I'm thrilled and I want to publicly say that I think he's fantastic for organising it!!!! It's for next week - Tuesday and Wednesday nights, and the only thing I'm not looking forward to is telling the girls because they won't want me to go at all.
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