Poor baby....

My only symptom of the horrible tummy bug that Tamsin and Bill have had, has been some sharp twinges of pain in the intestines - but nothing else. Sadly I think today Isabelle has had the same thing as she has spent much of the time crying on and off in some discomfort, and then this evening it turned into screaming agony. I had to nip round to a neighbour's house and ask to borrow some Calpol as we don't have any. Tamsin won't touch the stuff because it makes her vomit, so the only bottle we had was past its expiry date and we threw it out. Anyway it seems to have done the trick and the little sweetie is flaked out at last.

Tamsin has spent a lot of time today on her Learning Land CD-Roms again, and clever Daddy got the DK Learning Ladder Pre-School and I Want to Read ones working too so she's had much computer time today. We also played another of the "Reading Games" from the Usborne book borrowed from the library, which introduced Tamsin to throwing a dice and moving counters around a board.

At church this morning, she seemed much more settled in the 'Sparklers' (3-5 yo) class so I told her I was going to the toilet and left the room for 10 minutes, and she was fine! Wow, I might get to stay in the service and hear a sermon one of these days!

What a difference!

We've had a totally different day than yesterday. The activities I prepared made all the difference.

We started with one Thomas video, very clearly stating that the TV was going off when it was finished, during which we had breakfast. This was followed by various craft activities - we made a picture of different types of snow, using rock salt, milk powder, cotton wool, and painted white pasta. We wrote Tamsin's name with spaghetti and little silver balls, and we liberally sprinkled glitter and paint around. After that, we took the dog out for a walk, which is something which doesn't happen too often these days. Poor dog gets sadly neglected. When we got back, we played a game from the "Reading Games" book we have out of the library, and then Tamsin has spent a vast amount of time on the computer with her Thomas computer game, and 3 or 4 of her Learning Land CD-Roms. While she's had her tea (plain rice by request) she's gone through several of the Learning Land magazines. LL is an old part-work that I bought the complete set of very cheaply at an NCT sale. We have talked about germs and catching illnesses and the importance of washing hands, and we have talked about rain and snow and temperature changes.

Much of this has been possible because Isabelle has slept an incredible amount today. I hope this doesn't bode ill for the night, but it's been quite useful during the day! And each time she's gone to sleep, she's quite happily accepted it being without the boob in her mouth. Looks like my tough stance yesterday did the trick, even though it was stressful with some crying (always in arms, though, and never left on her own).

Long may it all continue!

Later added: I forgot - we also moved on to Lesson 2 of Sound of the Week .... so only about a month or 6 weeks after Lesson 1. At this rate, we'll get through the phonemes when she's about, oh, 24? I definitely haven't got it in me to be a 'school at home'er - I can't stick to a plan to save my life!

Crap day all round

I couldn't have had a worse night's sleep last night if I'd tried - woken up countless times by both Tamsin and Isabelle variously having nightmares, needing feeding, having diarrhoea, being unable to sleep, being too hot, being too cold ... you get the picture. So I started the day incredibly tired and very grumpy.

Then today Isabelle seems to have suddenly decided she can't possibly go to sleep unless she has my boob in her mouth ... after I'd been so encouraged that at last I had a baby who would actually fall asleep on her own, suddenly she won't. Now, I've always been an attachment parenting type of parent, but TBH that led to Tamsin waking 2-hourly every night until she was well over 2 years old, and I just can't bear to do that again. So I'm determined to nip this particular habit in the bud, but to start trying to do it on a day when I am very tired, Bill is away and it's gloomy and sleeting outside is probably not the best time.

I was really wanting not to have the TV on much today, and to have some more interesting and creative play going on, but I was so desperately tired I wanted to seize the chance to try and nap a couple of times today so just left Tamsin in front of the TV/video.

And then the other issue today has been trying to prevent Tamsin eating anything that might continue to aggravate/prolong her tummy upset - so saying a hundred 'no's to requests for chocolate, cheese, biscuits etc. I've made tempting bowls full of lovely fruits and snacky veg stuff, which she has requested, and then eaten one mouthful and left the rest.

AND when I actually tried to do something useful with her, by getting out the DK Learning Ladder CD-Rom and I Want to Read CD-Rom, neither of them would work on my computer. I think the CD drive might be knackered. So I switched on Bill's computer, and left her with more Learning Land CD-Roms which she just got on with on her own for a while. But what an incredibly sedentary day - either TV/video or computer. It's just not good at all.

I know today has been particularly bad, but TBH it only feels like a worse version of our normal days, with too much TV and not a lot else that is productive/creative/imaginative or physical. Today I am wondering if I am cut out for the home-ed life. I keep thinking it will be better when she can read and write because then I can think of all sorts of interesting things she can get on with, but at the moment anything I can think of seems to involve me doing something while she watches, and I can't be bothered.

The only way I've been able to improve my outlook at all is to know that Bill has been having a far worse day - at his Mum's funeral. He has phoned tonight to say it was hard but OK, although his Dad took it very hard, as you would expect after 60-something years of marriage.

Added later: Fed up with the lack of positive activity, I have now prepared the following:
Some snow/ice activities from www.perpetualpreschool.com
Some Dr Seuss (T's fave at the moment) activities also from perpetual preschool
Some germs/health activities from perpetual preschool bearing in mind the illness that's been going round here
Printed off the Cuisenaire booklet from MuddlePuddle to get ideas for the rods
Found some Teaching Ideas to go with a couple of books we have from Barefoot Books

Change of plans

The weather forecast is so horrible that we don't want to risk either getting stuck in a major traffic/snow-jam or having an accident with two little kids in the car, so Bill is going up to North Yorkshire on his own and I am staying at home. I am sorry not to be able to go and share this difficult experience with him, and support him, but it feels safest and best this way. Also Tamsin has been sick again this morning - will this tummy bug never end? It's a week ago tonight that it all started.

I've been to a Home-Ed Group ....

.... and now I feel more like a real home-edder! I've discovered this small group that meets in someone's home once a month, and went along there this afternoon. Met a really nice group of people. There weren't any organised activities and I hardly saw any kids as they all just disappeared off with each other to do computer games, drawing/painting, run round the garden in the snow. The organiser has 4 kids, the youngest ages 4 and 2, so suitable for mine to get to know. Most of the kids seem to be age 9-13, though.

Tamsin was still complaining of tummy-ache this morning, so she didn't go to playschool. Bill also still off work, although almost recovered. Tamsin has spent much of the day (when at home) playing with her Learning Land CDs, so a fair bit of education today for a change!

And if you don't hear from me for a few days, it's because tomorrow sometime we're setting off up to the north-east for MIL's funeral. Back on Saturday.

I'm still well, Bill is mostly recovered, Tamsin is fine and Isabelle is having a bad tummy/windy day.

I'm just busy adding other blog links to this blog, so if anyone else disappears off the ring, I can still find them!

I'm going to a local HE meeting at someone's house tomorrow. Only found out about it a couple of weeks ago, as although it is only a 10 minute drive away from here, it's in the next county, so obviously they aren't on the GlosHomeEdders list that I'm on.

More illness

Bill's got the D&V now .... and Tamsin is having a very slight relapse too. Damn, I thought it was all over. Please, please God don't let me get it. I don't wanna be sick, waaaahh! Especially with having to keep feeding a baby no matter how I feel.

Not much going on here today - it's a CBeebies and Shrek kind of a day. We've done a bit of face painting and I'm about to bring out the Cuisenaire rods to see if that captures her attention.

If I was looking for a job, this one would be approaching ideal for me. But it's in Sheffield. And I don't want a full-time job anyway, but it's what I'd love to do. I did my uni dissertation on folate (folic acid) so it's right up my street .

Anyway, back to my real, as opposed to my fantasy, life. Today I went to a Creative Stitch and Craft Show at Cheltenham Racecourse, where I thought of all you knitters and crocheters out there. I am neither of those, but I do like the papercraft side of things, of which there wasn't very much at the Show, sadly. All I bought was a little compartmented box, for sorting Hama beads into their different colours.

Oh yes, I've just remembered what else I needed to blog. To get a bit poetic about it, there are many joys in life, like holding hands with the one you love, skiing down an Alpine mountain on a sunny day, or discovering you've won the Lottery (I haven't experienced that one!), but surely, surely there is little that's more joyful and amazing than hearing your baby's first real laughter. And that's what we've heard today, and it was truly gorgeous. Brings tears to my eyes just to think about it.

Sickroom manners

A child who has been up 4 times in the night puking ought to have the decency to be tired and quiet and preferably sleep during the day, don't you think, to enable her mother to get a bit of rest? No such luck. She was sick a couple more times this morning but inbetween wanted an unreasonable amount of attention and activity. I insisted we all went to lie on the bed from 2-3pm but she just stayed awake and played the whole time.

She's been fine this afternoon, and I think it's all over as far as she's concerned. Not too keen on the feelings in my stomach, however. Being a vomit phobic, though, it might just be the result of a day of anxiety, not to mention starting to get my head round MIL's death.

Bad news and worse news

Tamsin has been vomiting through the night .... putting paid to our plans for a lovely day out with my only remaining schoolfriend and her 3 kids ....

And then there was the phone call we'd been half-expecting and dreading - Bill's Mum died around 5.30am this morning. We will miss her.

What do you make of this conversation?

Tamsin: I'm a bit like a boy.
Me: Oh? In what way are you a bit like a boy?
Tamsin: Well, because of the track.
Me: You mean, you think you're like a boy because you like to play with the train track?
Tamsin: Yes. Daisy and Holly don't have track, and Lydia couldn't find Matthew's train set.

So, I wonder where that idea has come from. Has she just put it together herself, or has someone said something? Not me, certainly! I'm delighted by my little train addict!

Quite a good day

Yesterday felt productive and positive (insert smiley emoticon, which I don't know how to do in Blogger!). Tamsin variously enjoyed play-dough, Stickle-bricks, Brio, and varied imaginative play (including one lovely scene of pretending to make a complete dinner with bowls, food, knives and forks and a drink - which were actually various boxes, candlesticks, magnetic letters and coins - and serving all of us including several toys).

She also requested a couple of workbooks, so we did a few pages of "Telling the Time" and "Letterland Building Words/Letter Blending". The latter was a test of my lack of patience -v- what I knew I needed to do. She perfectly recognises all the letters and knows all their sounds, and yet when I encourage her to tell me the letter sounds "p - i - g", which she does perfectly, and then ask "so that says ....?", she will respond "spade!" because there is a picture of a pig digging! Several other examples of the same thing occurred. When doing rhyming words I show her and teach "r....e....d says 'r...ed' ... which is ...?" "Red" she shouts, (I am thrilled!) and yet, then I point to "b" which she can identify and say, "so b...ed says ...?" and she shouts "blue!". Hmmm, methinks she's just not ready for this yet! I was rather impressed with myself that I managed to keep (externally) calm and patient and encouraging, rather than shouting "no .. don't be stupid!" as I was tempted to do! I kept it light and funny and kept checking with her whether she wanted to carry on or stop. She chose to carry on for about 20 minutes. I don't now how much of what she got right was just guesswork and fluke! Ah well, all in good time. From what others say, one day it will all just come together.

In the afternoon, we went swimming, which was Isabelle's first time! I was a bit nervous coping with holding Isabelle and therefore not being able to do much with Tamsin, and it was definitely more limiting and less fun than just with Tamsin on her own, but Isabelle took it all in her stride, with just a little bewilderment. Tamsin can't actually swim yet, and I don't use arm-bands or any other inflatable aids because I remember trying to learn to swim myself, and being terrified of losing the help of those things, and I think I was the last person in my class at school to learn to swim, at about age 8 or 9. It feels better to me for them to just gain confidence in being in the water without inflatable aids, and then they never have to learn to give them up. Although I can see that at this stage, with two of them to cope with, it would be much easier if Tamsin could swim about on her own instead of just bouncing along on her toes.

The day took a sad turn in the evening, when Bill had a call from his sister to say that their Mum probably hasn't got long to live. She is in her 80s and has been ill for a while, but there was some hope that she would improve. It's not looking that way now.

Why oh why ....

do I waver so easily whenever presented with somebody else's point of view? Had a lovely visit to a friend of mine this morning, who has 2 children age 5 and 8 (plus one on the way) who are both at school and are happy, friendly, delightful children. She of course asked the usual question, "Is Tamsin going to school in September?" so we got onto the home-education discussion. We had a respectful and friendly discussion, but her comments and her point of view did make me feel uncertain, again, about why I'm heading down the HE route. It all sounds so straightforward to do it the 'normal' way, and her kids certainly aren't suffering from it. I couldn't think of any points to make that were irrefutable about HE being better. Maybe I just need to memorise a few more facts and figures so I can quote them at people, but I do hate the way it's so easy for someone to make me waver on any subject on which I thought I had made up my mind!

I could say more about this but it's getting late and I need my sleep!

Happy girl!

My sweet baby

My gorgeous girls

Pootling along

Nothing of any great importance happening here. Tamsin's had 3 mornings at playschool this week, while I've finally made a start on trying to get our finances back in order, which have been completely ignored since before Isabelle was born. I've also made slight progress on my To Do List, which has been hanging in the kitchen making me feel guilty but still unmotivated for about 3 weeks. I defrosted both freezers, and it felt great to cross that one off the list. One job down, 20 more to go....

I was unexpectedly on the radio yesterday! A friend who has what seems to be Gloucestershire's only cloth nappy business phoned to say there was a phone-in on Radio Gloucestershire about real nappies, and please would I phone in because so far there were only old ladies calling about how they used to have to boil terry squares in copper pans for hours on end! I did phone the number she gave me, without much of a clue as to what I wanted to say, and felt I was a bit vague and disjointed with what I said to the assistant to whom I spoke, so really didn't expect a call back to go on the show. However, after managing to track down the station on the internet and listening in (couldn't get the station on our normal radios), I was somewhat surprised to hear the DJ announce that "in a few minutes we'll be speaking to Joanna, who's really enthusiastic about using real nappies...". Sure enough, about 5 minutes later I got a call, and spoke for about 5 minutes on air about nappies! I rambled on about the ease of use, money-saving, chemical- and waste-free benefits, and about the lack of poo smells in my kitchen despite a nappy bin etc! I dunno if he was convinced, but I did my best!

Please excuse me now while I have a bit of a rant. I'm feeling frustrated that I can't find a cheap enough skiing holiday to go on. Skiing is something I just knew I would completely adore before I ever did it, and sure enough when I first went for a week in France in about 1988 I loved it. I also did one day on some slopes near Pittsburgh when visiting my brother in the USA in about 1992/3, but that's it! Since then, lack of money has simply prohibited any opportunity to go at all, not helped by the fact that Bill didn't really take to it, so wasn't keen. But having had my 40th birthday in August, I felt it was the best way I could think of to treat myself, and decided to see if we could go in March or thereabouts. But, bearing in mind this has all got to come from non-existent money (aka credit), I had forgotten in my mental calculations that we will be paying for 3 full-price tickets plus an infant, as there seem to be precious little discounts for children on skiing holidays. So I just can't find anything for less than about £1100-1200 and we just can't do that .... So unless I find an astonishingly good last-minute deal somewhere, I think it probably isn't going to happen, again, and I will have to yearn my way sadly through yet another skiing season.

Oh, but I have booked for HESFES! My first time, and it'll be just me and the girls, leaving DH to a blissful week at home with uninterrupted nights and Brio-free days.

Parenting a growing child involves a constant series of little gains, but also little losses. It's great to watch your child gain new skills, learn new words and change into their own person, but sometimes they leave behind little things that warmed a parent's heart.

Yesterday, I noticed that Tamsin was very clearly saying "as well" in appropriate places in the conversation, which is quite normal, except it saddened me that we will probably no longer hear the charming "wazell" which has been her previous habit until now.

On the other hand, we do still enjoy her idiosyncratic version of "Jingle Bells", which contains previously unknown (and untype-able) words, and today she exclaimed to Thomas the Tank Engine, "you Love Machine...", courtesy of watching too much Shrek 2, which had me in absolute hysterics for 10 minutes or so, contemplating the possibility of her suddenly saying that to Grandpa or in church ....!!

Tired .....

I'm so tired by the evenings that it's hard to get to the blogging. Tamsin's had a good week - she's really enjoyed going to playschool and I feel she and I have been getting on better. I've worked at finding opportunities to be positive and playful with her, and there's been a lot less shouting (from me) and annoying behaviour (from her). I feel like I'm really beginning to enjoy her again, a feeling which I largely lost when I got pregnant this time last year.

Isabelle is still bang on the 50th percentile line - 12lb 12oz today (3 months old). She is waking approx. 4-hourly at night, which could be worse and could be better. Can't complain too much, on the whole. When she hasn't got a tummy full of wind, she's a laid-back, happy, chilled-out babe. We have seen the homeopath about the wind problem but I'm not sure there's been much change so far - must phone tomorrow and get new instructions maybe for changing the remedy.

I attended my first Gloucestershire Home Educators meeting this week - only 3 others were there at a meeting at a soft-play centre nearby, but it was good to meet them, and started to hear about other (usually unadvertised) meetings that go on, too, so may get to those in due course. On Monday it was the deadline for registering for a school place in September, so I feel semi-official now I have told them that I do not require a state school place for Tamsin.