Up to our knees in chocolate and Baileys

I'm sure we could last a year on the chocolate, and two years or more on the Baileys we have received - people must know we are gluttonous hedonists, LOL! The sad thing is, I can't eat or drink any of it until Isabelle is over the colic, for which I have given up dairy. Oh well, only about another 5 weeks or so to go. Probably just as well, as I still have about a stone of baby-weight to lose.

Tamsin has had a great day, waking up around 7.30am and enjoying opening her stocking gifts. After dressing and breakfast, she opened one present, which was an impulse purchase yesterday late afternoon, when we all walked into town and went to the chemists. Every time we have been in there, Tamsin has gathered as many of the soft toy pink kittens she could find and carried them round while I've been getting what I needed. I had thought about getting her one but forgot, so I sneaked one into my shopping when she wasn't looking, and she was thrilled this morning. She wouldn't let go of it, and took it to church with us this morning for the traditional kids' "show and tell" with a favourite present. She agreed to go up to the front with me to show it to everyone, to my surprise, but she won't speak to people she doesn't know very well, though, so refused to tell Phil, our minister, what the kitten's name was. She never has said a word to him, and he's on a charm offensive to win her over. "Maybe if I stay here 20 years, I'll get her to speak to me" he said.

After stopping off to put flowers on Benjamin's grave, we got home to more leisurely present opening. Tamsin enjoyed her presents very much to start with, especially the ladybird raincoat and welly boots from Grandpa and the LeapPad and roller skates from us, but behaviour deteriorated later on with her just wanting to rip all and any presents open with little concern for what was inside or who it was for. It all gets a bit too much for a 3-year old, obviously. Mind you, on a diet of lollipops, crisps, peanuts and chocolate, what can we expect, LOL! She refused to eat any proper breakfast or even my lovingly prepared Christmas lunch, even when we'd done our best to keep her hungry enough to do so. One of my NY resolutions is to improve her eating habits, and I may resort to a sticker chart/reward situation to do so.

Great excitement erupted when it snowed and it lasted, ooh, must have been ... 30 seconds or so! So much for our white Christmas!

All in all it's been a pretty nice day, and following on from Christmas Eve when we had a couple of unexpected visits from old friends who it was simply delightful to see, I've enjoyed myself.

Bill and I had kept on dithering about presents for each other, but eventually late last night we placed an order for a DVD player as a joint present, so that's to look forward to. Slight technical hitch - our TV doesn't have the appropriate socket to connect it into .... so we may be browsing the sales or the small ads for a new TV as well.

Christmas Eve....

Am I ready? - no! I went to Tesco at 9.30pm last night, expecting the staff to be busy re-stocking the depleted shelves, and they were, but not with the stuff I needed! Aargh! I'll have to shop again today. Also various presents still to wrap and deliver to friends, some cards not yet posted, and I've decided to give up on the USA cards and just e-mail them to apologise!

The good news is that Isabelle slept for a 6-hour stretch last night! The longest since that fluke all-nighter she did when she was about 2 weeks old. The bad news is that it was between 9pm and 3am, so I was only sleeping for about the last 2 hours of it. The other question is, did she sleep so well because she was still in her car-seat after our trip to Tescos, or because she was wrapped up very snug and warm in her big cuddly all-in-one coat-thing! I am very conscious of the dangers of overheating your baby, but I am slightly tempted to dress her in her outdoor thing again tonight and see if she sleeps just as well.

Tamsin's only request for Christmas is a lollipop - easily satisfied, then! I am appreciating that lovely innocence and ignorance of consumerism, as I suspect it will be gone by next year!

I'm sure there are all sorts of interesting educational-type conversations we've been having that I meant to blog, but busy-ness and tiredness means I have forgotten them all. Not that it matters really, just that it's nice to keep a record of these things as she develops and learns.

I may not get back to blog again before tomorrow, so I will wish all visitors to my blog a very Merry Christmas and a peaceful and joyful New Year.

Better late than never .....?

Soundtrack to my life:

“Long-haired lover from Liverpool” Jimmy Osmond – my fave and passion at the time and the first record of my own (my parents bought it for me) – please forgive me, I was only 10!

“Silver Lady” and “Don’t give up on us” by David Soul – OK, well I was still young (13/14) and madly in love with DS of Starsky & Hutch by this time. Also reminds me of my friend Sue, my only friend I am still in touch with from school, because she was madly in love with him too, and all the fun we had together.

“Hey Jude” The Beatles – was always the last smoochy song played at school discos

“Aye Aye Aye Aye Moosey” by Modern Romance – College discos when I was about 17 – I danced with a guy nicknamed Moosey who fancied me but the feeling wasn’t mutual… Also "Oops upside your head" from around the same time

“Romeo and Juliet” by Dire Straits – a passionate teen romance

Queen – “Don’t stop me now” – Those great wild days of living in my first shared house away from home/parents and doing wild and crazy things with friends.

“Shanghai Breezes” and "Seasons of the Heart" by John Denver – sitting waiting in a car in Madison, Wisconsin, USA on my first trip there with Bill early in our romance, this came on the radio.

"Perhaps Love" - John Denver: engraved into Bill's engagement ring

“For You” – John Denver: Bill and I – our song: "For you, all the rest of my life for you, all the best of my life for you alone, only for you"

“Keep on loving you” REO Speedwagon – Sitting in the Intensive Care Unit late one night, watching over Benjamin, only a few days old, wondering if he was going to make it, and the radio was playing and I heard these words: “Hey baby I'm gonna keep on lovin you, Cause it's the only thing I wanna do, I don't wanna sleep, I just wanna keep on lovin you”

When Benjamin died:
“Fly” Celine Dion: Fly, fly precious one Your endless journey has begun Take your gentle happiness Far too beautiful for this Cross over to the other shore There is peace forevermore But hold this mem'ry bittersweet Until we meet
”My heart will go on” Celine Dion: Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go till we're gone Love was when I loved you One true time I hold to In my life we'll always go on
“Never had a dream come true” S Club 7 - I never had a dream come true, Till that day that I found you, Even though I pretend that I've moved on, You'll always be my baby, I never found the words to say, You're the one I think about each day, And I know no matter where love takes me to, A part of me will always be with you

Shania Twain “From this moment on” – when I found out I was pregnant again (with Tamsin):
From this moment life has begun, From this moment you are the one, Right beside you is where I belong, From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed, I live only for your happiness, And for your love I'd give my last breath, From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart, Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart, My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live, I will love you, I promise you this, There is nothing I wouldn't give, From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love, And you're the answer to my prayers from up above, All we need is just the two of us, My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live, I will love you, I promise you this, From this moment
I will love you as long as I live, From this moment on

What was she thinking?

I suppose it's fairly normal 3.5 y.o. behaviour to put a wastebin on your head while sitting on the potty - and then empty the rubbish out of the bag onto the floor ....? Or have I borne a complete nutter ... ?


. 

We took the opportunity of having my brother and family here today to get a family photo with all of us together - which we haven't had since Isabelle was born - but Tamsin was somewhat unwilling -



She's hiding behind the Christmas tree... 

Eventually she was bribed with the promise of an ice-cream!


. 

Actually we all look remarkably cheerful considering how we're feeling. I got precious little sleep (again) as Isabelle had another bad bout of colic, and even though Bill tried to give me a lie-in by getting up with Tamsin this morning, she kept coming and disturbing me anyway. I wanted to go to church this morning for the nativity play (always a big aaahh factor!) but just felt too wrecked. And I'm feeling seriously overwhelmed by how much 'stuff' I've got to do and how little time I actually get to do it. I've been trying to do a birth announcement for Isabelle to send out with the Christmas cards, and only got that finished last night but still haven't printed them all (so why am I blogging instead of printing ....?). I suspect I haven't got enough Christmas cards anyway. I am still short of a present to send to the USA so all of that family's stuff will have to wait ... I have no idea what we're eating for Christmas ... I have no idea what prezzy to get for Bill ... There are a few people I wanted to invite for various meals/days over Christmas, and haven't got round to phoning any of them yet ... and Bill is just in a general decline because we had 'words' yesterday and he's grumpy ... not to mention our finances which I haven't sorted out for 3 months, and the enormous piles of clutter round the house.

I promise to try and be less gloomy tomorrow .... as long as I get a decent amount of sleep tonight!

Bits and pieces

Isabelle was weighed yesterday, and was 9lb 15oz - up from 8lb 5oz 10 days ago. That mummy milk is good stuff, obviously! She also melted my heart when she looked straight at me and smiled for the first time this morning - aaaahh!! She has been smiling for a week or two but only while gazing out of the window, or whatever...

I've been busy trying to get sorted out for Christmas but it all seems to be coming together extremely slowly - I did a bit of internet shopping over the past couple of evenings, and today, with Tamsin at her Grandpa's for the day, I made an expedition to Cheltenham with Isabelle and rather enjoyed going round the shops without having to play hide-and-seek with a 3-year-old! I made good progress but still have some gifts to get - including some that have to be sent to the USA - oops! Cards are ready but not the birth announcements that have to go in many of them!

Some milestones

for my daughters (seems odd to be using the plural, LOL!):

Tamsin is in bed without her bed-rail for the first time .... so I've piled up a large duvet on the floor next to the bed for if (when?) she falls out ...

Isabelle has moved into 0-3 month clothes today, rather than the newborn stuff. The Health Visitor is coming tomorrow so she'll be weighed again - it'll be interesting to find out how heavy she is!

Isabelle and I went to the GP for our 6-week check today ... all is well except she has a nasty dose of oral thrush so we have the oral gel and cream to spread about liberally. I'm a bit bothered about it as Tamsin had the same, and we never really managed to get rid of hers, in fact I think she's still got it as she is complaining of itchy 'private bits'.

That 6-week check thing, though, is a bit of a hurdle for me, as Benjamin died on the day he had his (although it was the day before he turned 8 weeks old). I couldn't face doing it with Tamsin so a different GP than our own came to our house to do hers. So this time I went back to our normal GP and feel quite brave to have done so. Not that there's anything wrong with him, but just a fear of repeating the same circumstances. It was important to me, though, that my Mum wasn't staying today, like she was 5.5 years ago, and that it wasn't market day. Anyway, it's 11.25pm and Isabelle is still alive!!! And have I told you lately how cute she is - she's just gorgeous!!

Spider and crocodile

were my first ever attempts at face (and arm!) painting:


Spider and crocodile girl - her favourite creatures! 

OK, so it's not brilliant, but Tamsin was very pleased!

The day didn't start well with Isabelle crying from 3.30am - 5am with colic/wind pain which was quite distressing for both of us. I had been intending to go to a LLL meeting this morning but was just too tired. Tamsin went off with Grandpa for their weekly day out, and as Isabelle was definitely tired by 9.30am, I thought she would probably sleep for a while and hoped to do so myself to catch up a bit. No such luck - she didn't actually fall asleep till noon. I wondered if the colic and the staying awake were due to me having a few Smarties last night ... the milk in the chocolate maybe? Will have to stay away from chocolate for a few days and see ... hmm, what else am I going to eat - that's what I've pretty much been living on! I think I'll be eating a lot of bourbon biscuits which don't have any milk in them.

So it was walk the floor all morning with a fussy Isabelle, both asleep from 12-2pm, then a few things done this afternoon which have been waiting for months - a few bits of mending and just 3 items to iron. I've pretty much totally given up ironing most things but there are sometimes just one or two items that really need it. I'm also intending to list a few things on Ebay and have been taking photos and sorting things out, and made a few phone calls that have been waiting a week or so. The address database for our Christmas card list is almost up-to-date (Note to self: update everybody's addresses when they change rather than waiting till December!) so maybe we'll get those out before too long. I'm probably already too late for the USA/other foreign ones, but everybody's used to me being late with them by now.

When Tamsin came home she had a magic painting book from Grandpa, so we had a little go with that (they're totally useless, aren't they?) and then the face painting and a bit of dinner. Now it's bed-time!

Where was I.....?

Picking up from where I left off .....! Firstly, I have to say how very brave I'm being right now - Tamsin is at playschool this morning, and Isabelle has gone back to sleep, and I am NOT having a nap but staying awake! Will I last the day without becoming evil bitch mother from hell...? I'll let you know.

The weekend visiting Bill's parents was a bit sad really - his Mum (age 82) has not been well for a while and is down to 6 stone 3, and is just skin and bones. We left thinking this might be the last time we see her. Added to which Bill's Dad (age 87) is either having a strange emotional reaction to the situation, or maybe is going downhill a bit himself, and is being quite unhelpful and nasty to her for much of the time. They were, however, delighted to see Isabelle for the first time, although a little disappointed that they couldn't seem to bond much with Tamsin ... she's very wary of people she doesn't know very well and won't talk to them or interact with them much at all.


Bill with the proud grandparents and Isabelle 


Tamsin didn't want her photo taken ... 

Isabelle's been quite colicky for the past few days... I have been trying to omit dairy from my diet but it hasn't been easy, especially with my main downfall being chocolate! I made strenuous efforts yesterday, though, and not a molecule of dairy protein passed my lips, so we'll see how it goes. The only thing that comforts her when she's in pain is sucking a parent's finger, so it's incredibly hard to do anything like get dressed, eat or anything when you have to hold the baby with one arm and have a finger in her mouth. Fortunately Bill was at home yesterday so we took it in turns to eat and play with Tamsin, so I am really hoping that today is better as he is back at work now.

On the way home from Teesside we had a disastrous trip (financially speaking...) to the Nottingham Ikea... hmm, Question of the Day - is that place an invention of the devil or God's gift to impoverished home furnishings buyers ....?

I am now very thoroughly fed up of the messy, cluttered and generally tatty state of this house. I want to have a huge de-clutter and throw-out of stuff but various problems arise: 1) I want to throw out Bill's stuff and he wants to throw out my stuff; 2) I can't find any time to do it due to permanently having a finger in Isabelle's mouth (see above) or trying to catch up on lost sleep; 3) if we threw away all the tatty stuff (torn furniture, grotty clothes etc) we'd have nothing to wear and nothing to sit on, as we have no money to buy replacements.

Yesterday (Tuesday) felt like quite a good day, mostly because I sat down with Tamsin and did some proper 'crafty' stuff, i.e. we did some potato prints of a christmas tree and a snowman and made some wrapping paper and some christmas cards, so now I feel like a proper HEer/mummy with a very glittery carpet!


Making wrapping paper with potato prints 


And Daddy helped as well 


Meanwhile Isabelle did this (between screaming fits ...) 

I am a blogaholic.....

Oh how I've missed you all while I've been away over the weekend! It seems rather sad to say that I spent much of the car journey time to and from Teesside contemplating what I was going to blog when I got back! And as we drove past Sheffield I thought of the various MPers who were doubtless within only a few miles of us... And due to being back late on Monday night, having no spare time yesterday and falling asleep at 8pm when putting Tamsin to bed, this morning has been my first chance to get much time at the computer. And then I get that dilemma.... do I read everybody else's blog first or write mine? I decided to go for the former, and of course Isabelle has now woken up and is demanding attention.... so I will have to try and continue later!

Doggone!

Poppy, our manic Sheltie, has been driving me potty for quite a long time, and especially now with another new baby, I just haven't had time to take her for walks or pay her enough attention for much of the time, so she's gone off on a long 'holiday' to someone else in town.... she may be gone for 4-6 months, and if it goes really well we may even hand her over forever. I feel a mixture of relief and guilt, but the relief is stronger!

Anyway, we're off to introduce Isabelle to her other grandparents (Bill's parents) so we're driving up to Teesside tomorrow morning and won't be back till Monday. I've been working on my 'life soundtrack' so will give it some more thought over the w/e and should be able to post it when we get back.

20 years!

Neither DH nor I can remember the exact date, but sometime in October or November we had our 20th anniversary of being together! We didn't get married for 6 years after that, but 20 years ago we met and had our first date. That's half my life! Amazing... If I was less sleep-deprived, I would write about the things I have learned from Bill, and and what our life together has meant to me, but my bed is calling to me very loudly, LOL! Suffice to say that despite driving me round the bend fairly often, he's a general all-round superstar and a treasure and I'm glad he's mine and I'm his!

The last few days have been OK. All that anxiety and fear I had about coping with both girls together has pretty much dissipated now - it all just seems very normal and manageable. Gotta love those post-partum hormone swings! We've done some good things - long muddy walks in the woods, bike-riding, train track playing and real cooking being done, and some things that leave me feeling guilty, e.g. too much CBeebies, too much chocolate and too many disposable nappies instead of the cloth ones, but hey, I'm definitely not perfect and never claimed to be!

I'm sure there was a ton of other stuff I wanted to blog about but, as I say, the sleep-deprivation is taking its toll and my brain is mostly blank. Must go to bed!

You're an agitator! Your kids have grown up on the
front lines of rallies and pickets, and chances
are that you boycott at least one company for
its bad business practices. Your kids are
learning what matters to you and how they can
change what matters to them.


What kind of a freaky mother are you?
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I think I've cracked it ....

The colic, that is. Poor Isabelle hasn't been as bad as many babies, but she has had her sessions of painful crying and leg thrashing. I wondered if it might be a problem with me eating dairy stuff, as that definitely was the case with Tamsin, so I gave it up and she had a really good couple of days with no pain at all. Then this morning she woke up at 7am and cried and fussed and wriggled and sucked my finger for *4 hours*!!! I couldn't understand it, until I asked myself what I had for dinner last night and realised that, fool that I am despite being a nutritionist, I had made a pudding and had *custard* with it! Well, at least that confirms it is definitely a dairy problem. Hopefully we should have a much more peaceful babe from now on.

Tamsin has spent the day with my Dad today - something she has done for a few months now and she always used to be thrilled and delighted when he turned up. Last week and this week she has gone all grumpy and upset and not wanted to go. I made her anyway (horrid mummy - but this is my 'sanity' day!) but I suspect this is obviously new-baby related and feeling like she's not getting enough attention from Mummy. Well, that may be so, but this Mummy just hasn't got the resources for any more attention, really, so we'll just have to find a way to talk about and reassure her that she is still very loved.

Family photo November 2003 

Can somebody tell me how I move this photo to my profile or to the sidebar please?

Could she be reading ....?

Tamsin picked up an old Usborne "Ready for Reading" book yesterday and we had a look through it. A couple of the pages had pictures of balloons with words printed inside - names of the animals to whom the balloons belonged ... there were also pictures of the animals... I asked her what the words in the balloons said, i.e. whose balloon each one was, and without any hints or prompting she got several of them! She's been good at recognising individual letters, but she's never put them together so far! I think on some of them she might have been getting the first letter, and then looking at the pictures to find the appropriate animal, but even so, it's a step or two forward! She really enjoyed it and obviously felt proud of herself.

Today, she did one of the 'Learning Land' CD-Roms (I got a full set of this slightly old weekly part-work of 30 magazines and computer CD-Roms from an NCT sale last year for £4!) and did some 'more/less' work and other sections on animals and letters.

Bill was off work again today - he has a few more days of paternity leave left. We didn't get up very early, about 9am, but basically I woke around 6.30am to feed Isabelle after only one waking during the night at 3am, and I've managed to keep going all day with NO NAP!!! This is a major step forward for me - I was beginning to believe I'd never make it through a day without a nap for the rest of my life! We had a walk into town this afternoon for various bits and pieces - I actually got round to buying a new washing-up bowl (old one cracked) - exciting or what?!! And some cream paint to do the new toyboxes we recently obtained to try and keep all the toys tidy in the living room. I also registered Isabelle with the Doctor's surgery, and made the appointment for our joint 6-week check-up.

Improving ......?

Just a quick update ... I still have a lot of anxiety around, but today has been OK and maybe I'm getting there.... I decided I needed to use some of my hypnobabies techniques to cope with these unsettling feelings, meaning I need to give myself lots of positive affirmations throughout the day and when I feel panicky, and just try and give myself a new mindset. Not easy when very tired (Isabelle's sleeping is getting worse, not better!) but at least it's a strategy! Anyway I had a couple of sessions of an hour or two today when I was on my own with both girls - this morning I took them out for a walk (in the rain!) to get Tamsin away from in front of the TV, which went fine, and this afternoon DH was exhausted so he went to bed, and I coped for about 2 hours!

Isabelle is waking again for a feed so that's all for now!

Up/down/up/down ....

Tamsin was at playschool this morning, and I expected to get just a few things done before having a good nap while Isabelle was asleep, to set me up for the afternoon alone with both girls. Isabelle had other ideas ...... and fussed and fidgeted and sucked and squawled all morning, until by midday I was a sobbing heap, shouting at her to shut up and go to sleep, so that I could too .... :-( Poor little baby heard the 'f' word several times as well, which is not one I normally use :-(

I do not do well without enough sleep ..... I turn into a monster ..... I'm sure I never used to be this bad, but certainly since being pregnant this time I just don't seem to be able to manage to be awake a whole day without a nap sometime. I just can't cope otherwise.

Fortunately, my superstar friend Kate picked Tamsin up from playschool, along with her own daughter, and kept her until I was ready... so after eventually getting Isabelle to sleep at 2pm and sleeping myself till 3pm, I went to Kate's house, and stayed there till after 6pm where we had dinner as well ...

Days like today really shake my confidence. Many days like this will lead to depression, I know it, and that's the last thing I need on top of everything else. The only good thing about today was that there was NO TV!!!

She slept through the night!

Is this a miracle? After a bad evening (see previous posting), Isabelle slept from 11.30pm to 6.45am!!!! We'll have more of those, please. Of course, I didn't sleep through the night, because of Tamsin coming in to join us at 1am and then having to check 2 or 3 times that Isabelle was still alive.....

Colic?

So how do you settle a baby who seems to be having spasms of pain... and wanting to constantly suckle on a finger or a boob, and won't go to sleep....?

Some education!

Two proud mummy moments yesterday:-
Tamsin wrote her own name! She was in the little Sunday School group with Bill and came down with a colouring sheet on which she'd done her name all on her own - it was gorgeous!
Secondly, in the afternoon, I started writing some words without saying anything at all about what they were, and without any prompting or help, she recognised Mummy, Poppy (our dog's name), Daddy, Holly and Isabelle ... I was so impressed!
The other lovely thing was that we all got to church which was Isabelle's first time, and we had a lovely welcome from everyone.

Very brief update

On Friday morning I went to the LLL meeting near Cirencester, and felt fine, but was totally wiped out by the time I got home. Even all afternoon in bed didn't really do the trick, and I was not prepared for Isabelle's feeding shenanigans as night turned into the small hours of the morning and she still would not go to sleep. It probably wasn't the best idea to shove her into Bill's arms, sobbing "YOU find out what she wants, she certainly doesn't want anything I've got!!" before turning and running back to bed, but it was all that came to mind at the time! I managed about 3-4 hours sleep before being disturbed by both Tamsin coming into our bed and Isabelle waking for a feed at the same time.

Fortunately, Bill took Tamsin off to the park this morning, and enabled me to stay in bed until 1pm, which left me feeling a good deal more human for the rest of the day. Must go to bed now, though, and get as many hours as poss while she sleeps!

Dressed @ noon, brushed teeth @ 3pm... (sigh)

It hasn't felt like there's been anything worth blogging the past couple of days - I still feel very much in 'babymoon' mode, staying at home and hiding away from the world. Tamsin went to playschool on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings and had the day with Grandpa today, so I've had a bit of peace and space to catch up on sleep (but not much else!). Bill is taking his paternity leave in odd days here and there, so he went to work on Tuesday while my Mum was still here, and today while Tamsin was out for the day.

That meant that it was just Isabelle and I on our own today - and I think she took advantage by fussing and stressing and sucking and just not sleeping at all this morning! Hence the title - one of those 'typical' new mother days when you just can't seem to get dressed at any reasonable hour. Mind you, that was after a good night when she fed around 11pm and then slept through till 4.30am, as I did too, so we want more like that please! Tonight is not boding so well as she has slept solidly since about 7pm and it's now 10.30pm, so I don't know if she's saving her fussy period for the wee small hours....

Feeding is still a little bit wobbly - sometimes she takes an age to latch on properly, and sometimes she latches on and then just lies there gazing around, not bothering to feed, and sometimes she just falls asleep after 5 minutes and then wants more 20 minutes later, and that goes on and on and on.....

BUT - I have managed to get onto the cloth nappies and done my first nappy wash today, I made real food for dinner, and have even made some soup for tomorrow to take to an LLL meeting (with soup lunch) somewhere between Cirencester and Lechlade - I haven't been to this one before. There used to be one in Cheltenham but the leader moved away, and this group runs on a Friday morning when I was always at work. I was assuming I would be going to this one still heavily pregnant, but Isabelle had other ideas!

I hear her waking and wanting more mummy milk - must go!

Thank God for good friends bearing chocolate cake!

Managed to get up and take Tamsin to playschool this morning, and my friend Kate, who I job-share and child-share with, collected Tamsin from playschool, and took her home to play. They all came here at about 3.30pm with a big chocolate cake! That hit just the right spot! Isabelle has had a good day and feeding is now going well, so that's a relief. Bill went to work today, so that he can add another day's paternity leave on to the end.

My Mum is going home tomorrow, so Bill won't go to work. I definitely only coped with this afternoon by spending all morning in bed, as Isabelle went onto a 2-2.5 hour feeding schedule during the night. I am the sort of person who really NEEDS lots of sleep, otherwise I just don't function at all.

Ups and downs

It's a gorgeous time, but it's not without its stresses and strains as well. I'm very glad I'll never have to live through Sunday again, when the 'baby blues' hit big time and I was in tears from 4am onwards for most of the day.... Isabelle suddenly started having problems breastfeeding, which had gone perfectly before that ... and I had all sorts of nightmares triggered by the memories of the day Benjamin died when he had gone off feeding too...

The midwife arrived around 10am, when I was just into a fresh bout of sobbing because I still couldn’t get Isabelle latched on at all. She re-did the complete neonatal physical check, with a really good prolonged listen to her heart, feeling all the pulses etc, and said there were really absolutely no causes for concern at all. We tried again for 5 minutes or so (which felt like hours!) to get I latched on but she just wouldn’t – she just kept pushing it out with her tongue. So Alison told me to hand express a little bit of milk, while she undressed I and put us skin-to-skin. These 2 measures worked, and Isabelle actually started feeding – hallelujah!! I had a really good talk with Alison and it helped – she is so nice and I feel completely comfortable with her. I talked about our uncertainty whether to request an echocardiogram for Isabelle, which is what we had for Tamsin after she was born, just to make sure her heart was completely healthy. Alison thought it would be a good idea, and will talk to the hospital to see what can be arranged.

The rest of Sunday gradually improved, with I's feeding going OK once I did the skin-to-skin bit, although I continued feeling weepy and wobbly.

Today has been better, although I definitely still feel fragile. Feeding has gone well today, though. I do feel quite anxious ... I'm not exactly sure what about but partly about lack of sleep/feeling so horribly tired yet still having to deal with Tamsin/anxiety about settling into this new situation .... but I know that I will grow and adapt to these changes and a new routine will develop that will feel fairly comfortable. Just give it time.... We've got 3 adults in this house, though (my Mum is here for a few days) and we're only just all keeping everything going. I hate to think what a state we'd be in if there were any less of us!

Having said all that, what a real joy it is to feel the love for Isabelle growing, and to smell her sweet skin and hold her ... she is gorgeous!

Me and Isabelle, a few hours old 

Isabelle Shannon, born 3rd November 2004 at 3.37am, at home 

Tamsin and her very new baby sister 

Well, I wasn't expecting THAT!!!!!!!

I went into labour on Tuesday evening, and had a beautiful baby girl at home at 3.37am on Wednesday 3rd November. She weighed 7lb 1oz, and is perfect! We don't have a name, so far. Edit: today (Friday) we have decided on Isabelle Shannon

I certainly didn't expect to have my baby 12 days early ..(Merry, please forgive me!!!). It was my 3rd birth and I've never shown any signs before of going into labour early .. the first birth was induced 5 days before my due date, and the second was induced 10 days before my due date.

When I started feeling niggles around 7.15pm on Tuesday evening, I assumed it was slightly stronger Braxton Hicks contractions due to Tamsin jumping around on me, and as I had been warned by my midwife that, for a 3rd baby, I might well get some false starts and I know of many women who have had niggly contractions for days or weeks before the birth, I really thought it was just the beginning of that phase. I asked Bill to put Tamsin to bed, though, because I was feeling a bit uncomfortable with period-like pains. We had a friend here to help Bill move the furniture to make room for the birth pool, so I chatted with him till just after 9pm when Bill came down. Then I surfed the blog-ring a bit, until about 10pm when I told myself to stop being so ridiculous and go and lie down and listen to my hypnosis CDs to try and relax, because although I still didn't think it was the 'real thing', it was uncomfortable enough to be making me tense and anxious.

I listened to a CD for about an hour, and then came downstairs and told Bill I thought we needed to take this a bit more seriously. I still didn't really think this was 'it', but thought it would be a good idea to call the midwife just to come and check. In the meantime, I got in the shower, which felt good. I don't know what time the midwife arrived, maybe around midnight, by which time I was sitting in a deep bath. At around 1am, Tamsin woke up and came running along the landing to find me, and on finding me in the bath, leapt straight in with me and was then very upset because she was wet! I got out of the bath and lay down with her in our bed until she fell asleep (while I relaxed through the pains, which were coming maybe about every 5-6 minutes by then). I started to believe the baby was really coming!

When Tamsin was asleep, I went downstairs, to find that the birth pool was up but no water in it yet. I said I'd had enough and wanted to go home, and couldn't we all just stop this right now. The midwife asked if I wanted her to check how far along I was, and I said it depended whether she was going to give me good news or not! She asked me what I thought would be good news, and I said if she told me I was 6cm dilated, which I thought was a bit optimistic considering how well I was coping with the contractions! I thought it was entirely possible I was only at 2-3cm and that I had a very long time to go yet. She did check me, and announced that the birth hypnosis was working, because I was indeed at 6cm!! I wasn't entirely convinced that she wasn't just psyching me up, but she proceeded to phone the second midwife to come, and told her I was at 6cm, so maybe it was true!

I then started listening to my hypnosis Birth Guide CD, and it was extremely good. It contains suggestions that with each contraction, you will become more and more deeply relaxed, and indeed between contractions I was shaking and found it very difficult to relax, but as the contractions came I was able to relax deeply, which doesn't mean it didn't hurt, but I wasn't all tensed up through it. As transition approached, things got very intense and I resorted to the gas & air, and felt like I was losing my grip rather (but then don't we all!), and then extremely thankfully, pushing was fairly quick and short and VERY painful and intense and Bill described me as roaring like a lion, and then she shot out extremely quickly catching the midwife by surprise!

Big sister Tamsin woke up at 5am, and after a few minutes confusion until she woke up properly, was thrilled and delighted to meet the baby.

Briefly, the rest of Wednesday was tough, Thursday was a perfect day in almost every way, and today (Friday) I am officially worried because Isabelle is such a quiet sleepy baby that I can't help worrying about hidden heart defects and excessive sleepiness. I talked to the midwife about it a little this morning, but will press my concerns more tomorrow morning.

Seeing as it's taken me 3 days to get this far, I am going to actually publish this now, and hope to manage more later.

Wobbly start, improved later

This morning looked like it was heading the same way as yesterday, with me in tears before 10am because of just not wanting to deal with Tamsin climbing on me, refusing to get dressed, sitting on my head, generally being a pain. So decided that after my haircut this morning, we would have to stay out somewhere; out being easier than at home! Things started to improve before we went out, though, with me discovering some lovely comments from yesterday's moan, especially the one from DH! Then Tamsin asked to do some painting, and asked me to write the title/name of each picture on it ... which developed into a lovely session where she managed to guess many of the letters that were needed for each word, and then did some writing herself with lots of Ts, Ms, Is and Ns among other things. She can write her own name when told each letter to write, but was very close today to writing it without being told which letters.

So off we went to Stratford for the shopping trip we missed yesterday (although not swimming). Got my favourite "King of Skin" from Lush, some socks and tights for Tamsin and, best of all, a cheap copy of "Siblings without Rivalry" by Faber and Mazlish from the Oxfam shop - and to think I nearly ordered it a couple of days ago from amazon! Just in time, I think... And stopped for a quick lunch in Starbucks, where we each had a mug of hot chocolate, mine coming with a huge pile of whipped cream on top. So that was good :-) ! Tamsin unfortunately refused to eat any of the sandwiches, so the hot chocolate *was* her lunch .... oh well.

Then back home to look after a friend's 1-year old while she and her older 2 went to the dentist, and then the Tesco delivery came, and now Tamsin has asked for the paints to paint a small shoebox, but instead she is painting herself (she stripped naked when we got home from Stratford) and has just painted a big 'T' on her chest, and is a strange greenish shade almost everywhere else!! So I think it will have to be a bath before bedtime, then....

We have had the TV on since we got back home... but you all made me feel not quite so bad about that in the current circumstances ... I do admire those who manage to be TV-free, though, and maybe we'll manage it one day.

Lost the plot again

One of those days I'd rather forget..... My 'to do' list I made this morning had the following items:

Have breakfast
Walk dog
Pray
Change bedsheets
Clear dining table
Tidy toys
Phone Barbara
Go to Stratford - shopping and swimming

I managed the first two items ....... :-{ Maybe everything went wrong after that because I never got to number 3, who knows.... CBeebies has been on just about all day, because I just didn't have the willpower/energy/inclination to interact with Tamsin to get it switched off. I was wrecked by lunchtime and insisted I wanted half an hour to lie down before taking Tamsin swimming, and she kept on and on disturbing me despite me saying that if I didn't get some rest, I'd be too tired to take her swimming, until she eventually got the message and left me alone .. until 3pm, so I fell asleep.... and then it was too late to go! I then made my only sensible decision of the day, which was to go round to my friend's house and give Tamsin some decent playing time with her kids, which was a success!

We got home and I could only manage pizza from the freezer to the oven for dinner.... most of that frozen convenience food I'd got in ready for after the baby arrives has gone already (me, the nutritionist, who knows all about the importance of healthy eating).... I feel like such a shit mother today ... :-(

Faith

I've surprised myself by going to church twice today ... not something I normally do but I just really felt the need to go again this evening. When I go (and can concentrate, i.e. without Tamsin), it feels like that feeling you get when you've finished all the jobs on your to-do list; or when you declutter and sort out a room and everything's clean and tidy and in its right place; or when you've gone out for a walk and you wander off the path, and are enjoying the nice scenery, but after a while you feel aimless and eventually find your way back to the proper path again ... it's a sense of peace and rightness and clarity, only much deeper and stronger. Life is so distracting, there's so much to do and so many things to think about and so many ways of looking at things that my thinking gets cloudy and I forget where I'm going and what it's all about... I'm sure people will assess and maybe negatively judge my behaviour when I claim to be a Christian (and I negatively judge myself,as well), but I would say that perhaps for most of us who make that claim, it's not that we've got it all right and our lives are anything approaching perfect, but just that we've glimpsed something, we've seen something that is so beautiful we just have to follow it, even though we're constantly being distracted or forget what we've seen or just feel too tired to follow it right now...

Anyway, just for this evening, I feel like everything is back in its proper perspective and place and I feel more at peace. If anybody knows how to stop the fog descending, I'd like to know, please!

What to put in; what to leave out....

I was musing earlier about what to write in my own blog, and then find Sally has been on a similar track.... My particular dilemma is that giving a blow-by-blow account of each day ("first we did ....; then afterwards we ....." etc) seems as though it must be unutterably boring to anyone else, but in fact when I read other blogs on the ring I actually enjoy hearing what people have been doing in their 'ordinary' days. Anyway, because today has been fairly positive, I think this will be a 'blow-by-blow' kind of blog entry!

My energy levels seem to have been a bit better this week, although frustratingly I don't know why. It meant that the pattern of the past few weekends, when I got up with Tamsin around 7am and kept her busy till Bill woke up around 10am, and then I went back to bed while he got up and entertained her, was different this morning. Tamsin went to bed slightly later last night so didn't wake till around 8am and we got up about 8.30 and went downstairs, and I managed to stay awake all morning! We built Brio track after breakfast, which has been Tamsin's daily favourite activity since before Kessingland, and later on played with a lovely new Playdough set which SIL brought yesterday. Tamsin then practised some 'writing' which really consists of making semi-random marks on a paper and then deciding which letters they look like - but it's all developing fine motor control and I am pleased to see that without specifically being told, she is holding the pen correctly most of the time now.

I wanted to go out to a local WI sale (in the hope of finding some lovely cheap books) but the midwife had promised to call just to listen to the baby's heartbeat as I am at the stage now where anxiety is rising a little that something will go wrong at the last minute, so I am going to have twice-weekly checks at least, rather than the normal weekly ones. I didn't know what time she was coming, so just had to hang out at home till she did arrive, which was around 1pm. All was well, thankfully, and she has promised to come everyday if I want, so although I don't need that at the moment, it's nice to know it's there if necessary. She also said there would be no problem arranging a scan if I want fluid level/umbilical blood flow checked, etc.

We did pop into town this afternoon, although the WI sale had finished by then. But we had a couple of nice incidents: when we arrived at the local supermarket, which is right next to the railway line, we saw a small crowd gathering so went to have a look, and saw, to Tamsin's great excitement and happiness, a large steam-train chuffing out of the station. Then inside the shop I met a friend and her DH and kids (the one who visited us on Thursday morning); and another woman from church who, when I mentioned that yesterday and today I have started getting sharp pains down the sciatic nerves, offered to give me a massage (and she is trained!), so I'll definitely be taking her up on that in the next few days.

When I got home, I was feeling fairly worn out, so after tea and chocolate cake (bliss!) DH took over playing with Tamsin while I perused the blogring. Later they both took the dog out for a walk, and then came back and I enjoyed hearing the squeals of delight from the garden as DH repeatedly launched a plastic firework rocket case they'd found while out - very much a 'Daddy' kind of activity, I thought!

I should have put Tamsin to bed by now but she's engrossed in Thomas the Tank Engine videos - I am glad she's not too much of a Cinderella and princesses kind of girl (although she does like some of that) and instead is much more into trains!

FINISHED!

Work, that is. Went in this morning and tied up a few loose ends - no more for 6 months! I just hope I've got a job to go back to ... I work for a small charity whose funding runs out in March '05 and I'm due to go back in about April/May time...

Now it's a quick nap for me, then collect Tamsin from my friend's house (we job-share and child-share) and then my SIL is coming to visit this afternoon.

Today's achievements...

A friend visited this morning with her 2 kids; later Tamsin and I washed the front door (been meaning to do that for ages...); Tamsin did some painting and we talked about mixing colours to get new colours, which she then practised; we started to make Christmas cards with glue and glitter (note to self: more preparation and planning needed to avoid a living room full of glitter!); made a proper meal with fresh food (which Tamsin didn't eat), and got her to bed early-ish.

I am going to have to go into work tomorrow, but hoping to only stay for a couple of hours, rather than all morning. And then that will be it for 6 months or so!

Added later: Forgot to say that the friend who visited this morning was at one point considering HE, but now feels she will send her DD to school because she is a very sociable little girl and "will do much better at school". We had a conversation about school/HE and I felt the same as I did with my other friend who considered HE but opted for school - pressure from them to make the same decision. I suppose I try and put subtle pressure on them to change to HE (it would make my life easier!) but I do resent the fact that they both saw really positive aspects to HE, and are now praising school all the time.

An invasion.....

of headlice - yuck!!! We had our very first attack a couple of months ago, and thought we had got rid of them .... but no, we're either re-infected or didn't quite do the job properly .... (sigh). I'm following this combing schedule which promises to get rid of them and avoids the nasty chemicals.

Better news - my supplier has my pink spotty TotsBots wraps!! Thanks to whoever pointed them out, I think on Merry's comments .... I love our TotsBots nappies but the wraps were new since I last bought any so I decided to treat the new baby to some as a Christmas present!

Good day (mostly) so far!

Apart from frustration this morning having lost several things which I needed to go out and "run errands", e.g. documents for re-taxing the car, my cheque book, the phone etc, and then finding out when I got the Post Office that I had the "Schedule" of motor insurance and not the "Certificate" (GRRR!!!!), nevertheless today feels quite good.

I've had a visit from my midwife, bringing the home delivery pack, together with one of those precious canisters of gas & air - although frustratingly not with an adapter/mask yet so I can't practise....!!! Heartbeat sounds good, strong and regular, not like when I was expecting Tamsin when her HB was very erratic, because I was so stressed (terrified something would go wrong). The midwives seem to all hope to be the one attending me because I have been doing this self-hypnosis for birth course and they're all fascinated as to how it will go, as I am as well!

Also, the EO pack has arrived, so I am gradually reading through all the bits and pieces, while Tamsin is happily watching a video of Thomas the Tank Engine (her favourite).

Grrr to M&S....

Why is it that the only time I decide to buy myself something (new undies!) instead of buying stuff for Tamsin all the time, the ones that I like best in M&S they don't have in my size...... and Next doesn't have any at all! And now that Stratford-on-Avon has restricted on-street parking to only 20 minutes, I didn't have time to go anywhere else ..... so neither did I get to the health food shop for red raspberry leaf tea (for toning the uterus!) or a multi-mineral supplement (just noticed the one I take is good on vits but not so good on mins) or any of the other stuff I wanted .....

Better...

Today had some good points, rather than just low ones... The first was while driving home from church, when Tamsin spontaneously counted from 1-7 in French ... She knew a bit of French several months ago when she watched the Tots TV French video over and over again, but she hadn't watched it for a few months and I was wondering if she'd forgotten ... but no, it's there in her brain just waiting for the right moment to pop out again! Fantastic!

[I suppose really the first good point of the day should have been actually in church, rather than while coming home again, but since Tamsin has refused to let me leave her in creche or 'Sparklers' (the 3-5 yr age group class) for absolutely months, it seems like forever since I've heard a sermon or done anything than sing a couple of worship songs with a wriggly toddler on my lap... hardly conducive to even a moment of deep thought or contemplation....!]

I was exhausted when I got home, and went straight to bed for a couple of hours, but that meant I was refreshed enough this afternoon to actually feel like achieving some stuff, so Bill went up into the loft and we retrieved the final vital items of baby equipment (car seat, changing mats, etc) and put some other stuff away in there. Tamsin also got hoisted into the loft a couple of times (on her insistence) and had a lesson from Daddy about the boiler and about roof structure while she was up there!

I reach official 'full-term' (37 weeks) tomorrow so am suddenly starting to feel that I'm not sure I should go anywhere in case labour suddenly starts .... not that I've ever shown any signs of going into labour before 39 weeks in previous pregnancies, but you never know..... and as it could be a really quick labour I am a little nervous....

Why am I still so tired....

after 11 hours' sleep last night, a 2-hour nap this morning (11am - 1pm) and a 1-hour nap this afternoon (4-5pm) .....? Ridiculous. I keep looking forward to not being pregnant any more so I can stop being so outrageously tired, and then I think how much worse it's going to be when I'm being woken several times a night as well......

Anyway, one thing was achieved today.... I joined EO (online) so it'll be interesting to start getting that stuff.

Sleep......

Oops, fell asleep last night while putting Tamsin to bed, around 8pm, and didn't get up again! Yesterday's events included buying and carving a small pumpkin, answering Tamsin's request to make a great big crocodile out of cardboard, which she then totally ignored and didn't want to colour in, and finding that one of the library books we got on Thursday was about crocodiles, so that went together reasonably well! I also managed to cook a proper meal rather than something instant out of the freezer, so that always makes me feel more virtuous. I'm trying to save the ready-made stuff for after the baby is born.

Ho hum sort of a day...

Worked this morning - may have been my last day before maternity leave, depending on how my replacement gets on tomorrow and Tuesday, when I'm not there.... or maybe I will have to go in again next Friday. Collected Tamsin and came home, she watched TV while I did not much, then we walked to the library and chose several books. Came home, Tamsin watched TV again while I resorted to transferring a 'convenience meal' from the freezer to the oven, and then subsided exhausted into an armchair.

Days like this make me think I can't do HE, when any time at home is spent with Tamsin watching TV, but maybe I shouldn't make such judgements when I'm 36 weeks preg. Not helped by having received some sad family news last night which I can't go into but has stirred up all sorts of feelings in me. Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be better...

Getting ready for a new baby...

Tamsin was at the last day of playgroup before half-term, this morning, so I started to pack my birth bag. I am planning a home-birth, but thought it would be a good idea to have everything in one place in a bag for when we need it, and, of course, to cover the possibility of having to transfer to hospital at some point. However, with my first birth (Benjamin, who died age 8 weeks) taking only 4 hours and Tamsin's birth taking 2 hours (both induced), I'm not expecting there to be enough time to transfer to hospital in any event, hence the home birth... I saw the midwife this morning and all is well, and next Wednesday she will visit me at home and bring the home delivery pack.

Tamsin's drawing is starting to show some recognisable features, now, rather than random scribbles. Last night she drew a 'smile with legs', which was lovely, and a washing line with clothes (little lines) hanging off it, as well as a few recognisable letters (A, C, T among others). This afternoon we did a puzzle which involves little jigsaws of objects (cat, fish, tree, snail) with each piece having one letter. She would say, for example, she wanted to do the cat and I would ask which letter it started with, and I'd give her the piece, then which letter came next, and which letter came at the end, and much of the time she got it right, with me saying the word very carefully to separate out the sounds. Then, when I was in the kitchen starting the evening meal, she did 'pig' all on her own.

Then we sat and did a bit of reading: I read to her for the first time from the Beginner's Bible, and then attempted a Grimm's Fairy Tale, but she wasn't that interested. I have to confess to some misgivings about indoctrinating her with tales about helpless females being cursed and having to be rescued by gallant males, but OTOH would she be missing out on a shared cultural experience and language if she didn't know them...?

And a little personal boast, if I may. On the 'Great British Spelling Test' on ITV this evening, I scored 47 out of 50!!!

Blissful Tuesday...

I love Tuesdays .... Tamsin goes to my Dad's for the whole day! I go to work in the morning, and then come home and sleep all afternoon... bliss. Not for much longer, I suppose, once there's another tiny babe in the house, but in the meantime I'm enjoying it. So who cares about getting the housework done......!

Have been to Week 2 of the Positive Parenting course being held at church, this evening, which really just covers the basics which I already know but it's good to be reminded and to share with others. Especially when I've been losing the plot so much lately with Tamsin, being so tired, irritable and lethargic. Homework for the week: top up Tamsin's 'emotional tank' with as much as positive stuff as possible, to counteract the negative...

Visiting schools....

Seems a strange thing to be writing about on a blog that is supposed to be about home education, but we're thinking about the pros and cons of flexi-schooling so thought we had better visit the local schools and see if any of them would be amenable to the idea. Bill took the day off and we had 2 appointments this morning, not in our nearest school which couldn't fit us in today but in adjoining villages.

I have to say, the first was lovely. It is a really small village school - they currently have 33 pupils in total age 4-11!! They have 2 classes, so reception to year 2 is in one class and years 3-6 are in a second class. Class 1 currently has 8 pupils, 1 of which is a reception age child, and usually 3 and sometimes 4 staff on at a time - can't beat that for a staff:pupil ratio!!! They normally have about 6 in reception, plus the Year 1 and 2s, but even so..... In class 2 we saw 4 or 5 children just getting on with their own thing, while 4 kids were in a separate room with a student teacher, doing some reading, and the 4 'brightest' girls were with the head teacher learning Latin, because it was something they all fancied! We had a chat with the headteacher and she is certainly prepared to be flexible in school attendance, as they have had to do with children with 'special needs' in the past, although she did say she would need to be clear which of us would be covering which areas/subjects. But with mixed age groups and mostly teaching in groups of 4-6, it seemed to come quite close to home-ed in some ways! Of course, you still have the issue of 'lessons' which start and finish at pre-determined times, rather than just following the individual child's interest for as long as it lasts.

The second school, although still a village school, was much more 'bog standard' with over 20 children and 1 teacher (and sometimes a learning support worker) in each class. Everything the Headteacher proudly presented to us as examples of the children's work and excellent opportunities just struck me as something we could cover even better at home on our own. Don't think we will be bothering with that one.

The rest of the day has been really good, too. While we were eating lunch Tamsin chose, on her own, all the right letters and spelled out her own name on the magnetic board (first time without help!), and also looked at the globe and identified the UK and also America where her uncle/aunt/cousins live. Then, while I had a quick nap after lunch, she and Bill played with the Letterland flash cards and I came down to lots more words spelled out all over the floor. Then I took Tamsin swimming, where she seemed much more confident than she has done in the past, although she's not swimming on her own yet but she was much happier about being adventurous and going under the water etc. Afterwards, we went to buy her some new shoes, which I was dreading because last time she had a complete hysterical tantrum in the shoe shop, but (with the promise of an ice-cream afterwards) she agreed to have her feet measured and tried on some shoes without any problem whatsoever. She got a nice solid pair of ankle boots for everyday winter use, and now I know what size she is I can look around for some fancier ones.

If only everyday felt as positive and well-balanced as this ..... Unfortunately, during this pregnancy, that has been far from the case as I have mostly been exhausted, very irritable and bad-tempered, as I expect will be evident in the coming few weeks at least, as well!

A tentative start...

After reading the MuddlePuddle blogring for months, I keep being tempted to start my own, but I know how hopeless I am at keeping things up-to-date, so I don't know how well I'll keep this up. But if I don't try, I'll never know!

I'm hoping this will be something of a home education record, although with Tamsin only 3y 4mo as I write, there's not much definite going on on that front at the moment, but a few minutes here and there each day is appropriate at this age, I think.

Also I'm only 4 weeks away (approx!) from having another baby, so things definitely won't be that straightforward for the next few months.