Jade started asking about Father Christmas last night. I asked her if she really wanted me to always tell her the truth, and she said yes. So I told her that Father Christmas was just a story that everybody enjoyed pretending about, but that he didn't really come and fill her stocking with presents. She seemed fairly relaxed about that. It feels like a bigger deal to me than to her, I think! In fact I had started off when she was about 3 or 4 telling her that it was a fun story, in order to avoid conflict between believing in Father Christmas (benevolent kind man who goes round giving nice gifts to people) with God/Jesus (loving benevolent being/man who goes round doing good to people). One true, the other not. (OK, save your arguments about that for another time - I'm too tired right now!) But somewhere down the line she seemed to start believing it and I hadn't the heart to keep saying it was just a story, but last night I felt I had to. The only thing she seemed bothered about was who did put the presents in her stocking then? I told her it was love that put them there. I think that retains enough magic combined with the truth!!
Anyway, I have been horribly tired the past day or so and can't be bothered to try and do a full run-down of the educational stuff. Today was mostly a trip to Stratford for a couple of things - ended up buying about 10 books from a charity shop so that was a good haul. Some Rainbow Fairy ones, a couple of pony stories (she's absolutely crazy about anything horse/pony related at the moment), Art School and Nature School, and Fraction Jugglers, all at 99p each. In fact, I have so many lovely resources which I'm using more of than I'm using Sonlight, that I'm considering not persisting with Sonlight all the way through, which I had anticipated, but maybe just getting a few of their titles that I really like and just making up the rest as we go along. I don't know - I'll have to think about it some more, but it seems we could do what Sonlight do an awful lot more cheaply, although without all the help and pre-prepared answers of course. Not that I'm using those much at the moment anyway.
Must go and do something now - we're off this weekend to visit DH's Dad up north so should pack or something. Would rather just go to bed.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday's appointment with the speech therapist went well. She is very nice, well trained and experienced in SM so we are confident she knows what she's doing. Not so sure about the psychiatrist we will see next Tuesday who is training so possibly will be less help. We'll see.
We've been giving the Education City trial a go, which has been OK in parts but Jade is very reluctant to have a go at anything she doesn't think she can get completely right and is always asking me whether she's got it right before she will click the button! She doesn't want to have a go at subjects she's not so sure on! Will encourage her to have a go more tomorrow when she comes in to work with me. After all, we know she doesn't have to practice her phonics, spelling or vocabulary - it's the other stuff I want her to have a go at!
Been doing a bit more Story of the World (Sumerians/Akkadians/The Jewish people) and she learned and recited a Mother Goose poem earlier this week. I videoed her reciting it and showed it to the speech therapist, to prove she could talk! Shannon joined in too, and they did a duet of "Baa Baa Black Sheep" - it was very sweet.
We've been giving the Education City trial a go, which has been OK in parts but Jade is very reluctant to have a go at anything she doesn't think she can get completely right and is always asking me whether she's got it right before she will click the button! She doesn't want to have a go at subjects she's not so sure on! Will encourage her to have a go more tomorrow when she comes in to work with me. After all, we know she doesn't have to practice her phonics, spelling or vocabulary - it's the other stuff I want her to have a go at!
Been doing a bit more Story of the World (Sumerians/Akkadians/The Jewish people) and she learned and recited a Mother Goose poem earlier this week. I videoed her reciting it and showed it to the speech therapist, to prove she could talk! Shannon joined in too, and they did a duet of "Baa Baa Black Sheep" - it was very sweet.
Monday, September 17, 2007
It's all starting to come together ... I think!
The living room remains tidy! It's lovely, it is really helping my mood. I did have to dump a pile of boxes full of junk in the other room (should be the dining room, but is full of books and computers so don't actually know what to call it!). I am sorting through the boxes slowly and hope to find a proper space for everything or throw it away. Flylady says 15 minutes a day decluttering will get the job done so that's my minimum aim. I plunged into the tidying/cleaning all of a sudden on Thursday because we had an unexpected visit from a neighbour on Wednesday evening and I was so embarrassed about the state of the house, and again feeling very frustrated that I couldn't seem to get a few hours to myself (without children) while I was feeling energetic and inspired in order to get on with it, when I suddenly realised they were both going to be at the childminders on Thursday morning and I didn't have too much to do at work so I could take about 3 hours off and come home and get it done!
We are getting back into the swing of regular activities and work at home. However I have already twice offered the alternative of school if she really doesn't want to do what we do at home!! We're getting on quite well with Story of the World and the related activity book, and some other misc bits and pieces (odd bits of maths, writing 'All About Me' in a fill-in-the-spaces type book, some Usborne Spanish, a trial of Education City) but it all feels very haphazard and bitty to me. The trouble is I have so many books and resources and I want to use them all!
Shannon has been most irritating today - it seemed like she was constantly shouting, grizzling, whining for mummy milk, or making lots of noise just while I was trying to read to Jade, and I was really having to raise my voice to be heard. Jade kept interjecting comments about the dolls she was fiddling about with while I was reading, and it felt like really hard work. I do feel I'm not doing HE in the most interesting/stimulating way possible. Jade likes books and reading, but I think she needs more interaction/activity than we have at the moment. It's all looking a little bit too much like school for my liking - not very imaginative.
Shannon's toilet/potty learning is coming along nicely! After thinking it was never going to happen (she's a whole year later than Jade), she now seems to have pretty much got the hang of wees on the potty or toilet, whichever is nearest, as long as she's not wearing anything on her bottom half. If she has a nappy on, she stops bothering to think about potties. So I don't even want to risk putting pants on her till it's a bit more consolidated - she still only gives a few seconds' notice! We even managed to catch a poo on the potty yesterday and she seemed happy enough about that! We haven't risked going out without a nappy yet, though.
Tomorrow we (DH and I, but without the girls) have an appointment to see the Speech and Language Therapist for an initial appointment to explain all about Jade's reluctance to speak, and I hope we will begin to formulate a plan. We have also had an appointment through with the Child Mental Health Services for next week, so things should start to take shape.
We are getting back into the swing of regular activities and work at home. However I have already twice offered the alternative of school if she really doesn't want to do what we do at home!! We're getting on quite well with Story of the World and the related activity book, and some other misc bits and pieces (odd bits of maths, writing 'All About Me' in a fill-in-the-spaces type book, some Usborne Spanish, a trial of Education City) but it all feels very haphazard and bitty to me. The trouble is I have so many books and resources and I want to use them all!
Shannon has been most irritating today - it seemed like she was constantly shouting, grizzling, whining for mummy milk, or making lots of noise just while I was trying to read to Jade, and I was really having to raise my voice to be heard. Jade kept interjecting comments about the dolls she was fiddling about with while I was reading, and it felt like really hard work. I do feel I'm not doing HE in the most interesting/stimulating way possible. Jade likes books and reading, but I think she needs more interaction/activity than we have at the moment. It's all looking a little bit too much like school for my liking - not very imaginative.
Shannon's toilet/potty learning is coming along nicely! After thinking it was never going to happen (she's a whole year later than Jade), she now seems to have pretty much got the hang of wees on the potty or toilet, whichever is nearest, as long as she's not wearing anything on her bottom half. If she has a nappy on, she stops bothering to think about potties. So I don't even want to risk putting pants on her till it's a bit more consolidated - she still only gives a few seconds' notice! We even managed to catch a poo on the potty yesterday and she seemed happy enough about that! We haven't risked going out without a nappy yet, though.
Tomorrow we (DH and I, but without the girls) have an appointment to see the Speech and Language Therapist for an initial appointment to explain all about Jade's reluctance to speak, and I hope we will begin to formulate a plan. We have also had an appointment through with the Child Mental Health Services for next week, so things should start to take shape.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Look at my living room!
It's tidy! It's clean! It's lovely!!!
Oh, er, but look at my garden:
Guess what I'm going to be doing this afternoon!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Back to work!
Phew, once the girl-next-door started back at school on Thursday, we were able to get back to a bit of edyookayting! It's a relief not to have her in the house from morning till night every day!
So, with that usual back-to-it burst of enthusiasm that will probably last about 5 days max, we launched into some Story of the World last Friday out on the lawn in the sunshine. It was lovely! I read, we looked at the globe, filled in a photocopied map, she answered some questions, etc. Didn't get much else formal done that day - it still amazes me how little we manage to get done in the midst of requests for food, soothing bumps, getting the washing done, preparing more food, rushing Shannon to the toilet, walking the dog, trying to tidy up a bit and the girls' games and adventures. Never mind, Jade is still only 6 so if she prefers to spend most of her time in a world of fairies, unicorns and magical happenings then that's fair enough really!
On Saturday the Fire Service Training College nearby had a rare open day - I think it might only be the second one in the 11 years we've lived here and we were away on holiday last time. So we were keen to go along and have a nose around the place seeing as security is normally so high you can't see a thing. We had a lovely day including a ride on a fire engine racing along with siren blaring, a guided minibus tour round the 'fire ground' where they have all the training scenarios and buildings set up, fire dogs demonstrating sniffing out fire-starting stuff at the scene of an arson attack, and road accident rescues involving cutting open cars to get people out. It was fascinating, and I was particularly surprised but heartened by Jade saying how interesting it was seeing the car rescue equipment and air bags and so on. It was not what we imagined we'd be doing when 17 years ago we were getting married on 8th September, but it was good anyway!
On Sunday after church in the morning, we took the girls over to my Dad's and Bill and I had an extremely rare afternoon out together in celebration of our anniversary. It was most refreshing to actually spend time together without two adorable but demanding small people inserting themselves inbetween us at every opportunity! We must do it more often.
Today I've tried to get back into the swing of Sonlight - which we began in January and I reckon we are now on Week 4!!!! There have been lots of diversions along the way, obviously! We've done 6 pages of maths, she's written out a Bible verse which is one that we've been trying to drum into her anyway seeing as it's something she clearly needs to learn - "Treat other people the way you want them to treat you." - they've listened to an Usborne Spanish Beginner's tape and both girls have been practising bits of that, and at bedtime she's read out loud to me one chapter of her current reading book "Nina Fairy Ballerina" which she has then continued reading to herself when I left her in bed. I am again amazed that though it seemed like a full and busy morning we actually have done only a small proportion of what 'ought' to have been today's work - we haven't been anywhere near the history or the science or the other language arts stuff. We had an HE friend visiting this afternoon with her 6-year old and Jade treated her nicely after I talked her through the behaviour I expected of her beforehand so that was a bonus and a relief!
So, with that usual back-to-it burst of enthusiasm that will probably last about 5 days max, we launched into some Story of the World last Friday out on the lawn in the sunshine. It was lovely! I read, we looked at the globe, filled in a photocopied map, she answered some questions, etc. Didn't get much else formal done that day - it still amazes me how little we manage to get done in the midst of requests for food, soothing bumps, getting the washing done, preparing more food, rushing Shannon to the toilet, walking the dog, trying to tidy up a bit and the girls' games and adventures. Never mind, Jade is still only 6 so if she prefers to spend most of her time in a world of fairies, unicorns and magical happenings then that's fair enough really!
On Saturday the Fire Service Training College nearby had a rare open day - I think it might only be the second one in the 11 years we've lived here and we were away on holiday last time. So we were keen to go along and have a nose around the place seeing as security is normally so high you can't see a thing. We had a lovely day including a ride on a fire engine racing along with siren blaring, a guided minibus tour round the 'fire ground' where they have all the training scenarios and buildings set up, fire dogs demonstrating sniffing out fire-starting stuff at the scene of an arson attack, and road accident rescues involving cutting open cars to get people out. It was fascinating, and I was particularly surprised but heartened by Jade saying how interesting it was seeing the car rescue equipment and air bags and so on. It was not what we imagined we'd be doing when 17 years ago we were getting married on 8th September, but it was good anyway!
On Sunday after church in the morning, we took the girls over to my Dad's and Bill and I had an extremely rare afternoon out together in celebration of our anniversary. It was most refreshing to actually spend time together without two adorable but demanding small people inserting themselves inbetween us at every opportunity! We must do it more often.
Today I've tried to get back into the swing of Sonlight - which we began in January and I reckon we are now on Week 4!!!! There have been lots of diversions along the way, obviously! We've done 6 pages of maths, she's written out a Bible verse which is one that we've been trying to drum into her anyway seeing as it's something she clearly needs to learn - "Treat other people the way you want them to treat you." - they've listened to an Usborne Spanish Beginner's tape and both girls have been practising bits of that, and at bedtime she's read out loud to me one chapter of her current reading book "Nina Fairy Ballerina" which she has then continued reading to herself when I left her in bed. I am again amazed that though it seemed like a full and busy morning we actually have done only a small proportion of what 'ought' to have been today's work - we haven't been anywhere near the history or the science or the other language arts stuff. We had an HE friend visiting this afternoon with her 6-year old and Jade treated her nicely after I talked her through the behaviour I expected of her beforehand so that was a bonus and a relief!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Another catch-up
I'll try and begin where I left off - just about to go to Greenbelt.
Friday 24th was my birthday, so I woke up to Bill bringing me breakfast in bed, with a lovely heap of cards and stuff. As expected Jade was desperate to help me open and unwrap, but I managed mostly to fend her off! DH's card said my prezzie was behind the sofa, so after getting up we went downstairs and I found a ................ bass guitar!!!! Lovely surprise! I've been talking about wanting to learn for a year or two, but hadn't mentioned it for ages and it had kind of faded into the background a bit, so that was a lovely surprise and so far I have done Lesson 1 of the accompanying book!
Then we had to get sorted out fairly quickly and break the news to Jade that we were off to see a doctor about her. Bill explained it to her very well and light-heartedly, and she was absolutely fine about it!! We saw a consultant psychiatrist together with a trainee, both women, with a view to exploring what we saw as the problem, what we wanted to do about it, what help we were looking for, what steps we felt we would like them to take - all very 'us-centred' which I thought was excellent. Jade of course didn't say a word through the whole thing but was relaxed enough to nod her head in response to a question from me which sometimes is too much for her so I was quite impressed by that. They agreed that they can help us, and will work together with the Speech Therapist that I had contacted separately a couple of weeks ago. We are now just waiting for them to let us know when we can go along. We have heard from the speech therapist now who can see us mid-September so that's good.
Then we went home to do the final bits of packing up before setting off for Greenbelt. It's only a 45 minute drive from here, and we arrived I think around 2pm and then had to wait for about 2 hours in a mammoth queue before we could get onto the campsite. We managed to find the Raine Drops and Off the Path folk along with their other friends, and later were joined nearby by the Deep Enders, so we had a nice weekend with other people around, although GB being as action-packed as it usually is we don't get to see as much of each other as we might like.
Pre-kids, I used to find GB frustrating, although wonderful. It was frustrating because there is so much stuff going on, much of it (talks etc) powerful and potentially life-changing, and much of it has time-clashes and anyway I only have a finite amount of energy and can't get to everything. With kids, that frustration is massively multiplied. I went to a lovely calming and centring Taize service along with Jan and Barbara on Friday night, and after that didn't manage to get to anything of any substance at all on Saturday, for various reasons mostly linked to the children's needs and desires. The plan was for Shannon to go into a children's play session in the afternoon while DH took Jade off to the bouncy castles (she of course won't go near the organised kids sessions), and so I could have a chunk of the afternoon doing things I wanted. It required a 45-minute wait in a queue in the blazing sunshine in order to get a token to qualify to get into the kids' session, and then 15 minutes before the actual time, Shannon fell asleep on my lap.
I am seriously considering somehow going without the kids next year. GB for me is the highlight of my entire year, it refreshes the parts that other festivals cannot reach and even that church cannot reach, it opens up new ways of thinking and being and worshipping and looking at the world, and it touches me in ways I can't even describe. I hate frittering much of it away because my kids want to go on bouncy castles or something!
Sunday and Monday were better. And one workshop session I went to (called "Smiley spirituality can change the world") about positive psychology was very illuminating about Jade in one particular respect. Without going into too much detail, it seems that the over-sensitive part of her brain that leads her to social anxiety and selective mutism is also the same part of the brain that deals with feelings like "it's mine!" or "I want it now!" and other such primitive urges, so she's over-sensitive there as well. That would explain a LOT of bad behaviour that we have been wondering about as to whether it is just 'normal' or whether she is in fact more demanding in those areas than other 6-year olds. It turns out she probably is! What we do about it is another question entirely, and one we haven't explored deeply yet, except since getting home we have had a family meeting and together agreed the way we want other people to treat us, and therefore the way we have to treat them in return.
Anyway, since getting back from GB I find I am more deeply challenged than before about the gap between rich and poor, how I am one of the rich of this world (despite not feeling like it in our society), the stupidity and emptiness of consumerism and how that is not where happiness lies, about what am I doing to care for others, climate change and environmental challenges generally, and other stuff. Much thought and prayer is ensuing. Who knows when it will result in a clearer vision as to what is my own personal mission in life? - God's not usually in much of a hurry about these things! He prefers to take it nice and slow. "I want it now!!!" (Hmm, sounds familiar!)
Anyway one of my first decisions, after something that prompted me at GB, was to decide that one day per week should be computer-free, so for me that works best on Sundays. It felt at times like a deprivation, but also a nice oasis of peace on Sunday evening which carried on into Monday morning.
Time to put the kids to bed. More later (maybe).
Friday 24th was my birthday, so I woke up to Bill bringing me breakfast in bed, with a lovely heap of cards and stuff. As expected Jade was desperate to help me open and unwrap, but I managed mostly to fend her off! DH's card said my prezzie was behind the sofa, so after getting up we went downstairs and I found a ................ bass guitar!!!! Lovely surprise! I've been talking about wanting to learn for a year or two, but hadn't mentioned it for ages and it had kind of faded into the background a bit, so that was a lovely surprise and so far I have done Lesson 1 of the accompanying book!
Then we had to get sorted out fairly quickly and break the news to Jade that we were off to see a doctor about her. Bill explained it to her very well and light-heartedly, and she was absolutely fine about it!! We saw a consultant psychiatrist together with a trainee, both women, with a view to exploring what we saw as the problem, what we wanted to do about it, what help we were looking for, what steps we felt we would like them to take - all very 'us-centred' which I thought was excellent. Jade of course didn't say a word through the whole thing but was relaxed enough to nod her head in response to a question from me which sometimes is too much for her so I was quite impressed by that. They agreed that they can help us, and will work together with the Speech Therapist that I had contacted separately a couple of weeks ago. We are now just waiting for them to let us know when we can go along. We have heard from the speech therapist now who can see us mid-September so that's good.
Then we went home to do the final bits of packing up before setting off for Greenbelt. It's only a 45 minute drive from here, and we arrived I think around 2pm and then had to wait for about 2 hours in a mammoth queue before we could get onto the campsite. We managed to find the Raine Drops and Off the Path folk along with their other friends, and later were joined nearby by the Deep Enders, so we had a nice weekend with other people around, although GB being as action-packed as it usually is we don't get to see as much of each other as we might like.
Pre-kids, I used to find GB frustrating, although wonderful. It was frustrating because there is so much stuff going on, much of it (talks etc) powerful and potentially life-changing, and much of it has time-clashes and anyway I only have a finite amount of energy and can't get to everything. With kids, that frustration is massively multiplied. I went to a lovely calming and centring Taize service along with Jan and Barbara on Friday night, and after that didn't manage to get to anything of any substance at all on Saturday, for various reasons mostly linked to the children's needs and desires. The plan was for Shannon to go into a children's play session in the afternoon while DH took Jade off to the bouncy castles (she of course won't go near the organised kids sessions), and so I could have a chunk of the afternoon doing things I wanted. It required a 45-minute wait in a queue in the blazing sunshine in order to get a token to qualify to get into the kids' session, and then 15 minutes before the actual time, Shannon fell asleep on my lap.
I am seriously considering somehow going without the kids next year. GB for me is the highlight of my entire year, it refreshes the parts that other festivals cannot reach and even that church cannot reach, it opens up new ways of thinking and being and worshipping and looking at the world, and it touches me in ways I can't even describe. I hate frittering much of it away because my kids want to go on bouncy castles or something!
Sunday and Monday were better. And one workshop session I went to (called "Smiley spirituality can change the world") about positive psychology was very illuminating about Jade in one particular respect. Without going into too much detail, it seems that the over-sensitive part of her brain that leads her to social anxiety and selective mutism is also the same part of the brain that deals with feelings like "it's mine!" or "I want it now!" and other such primitive urges, so she's over-sensitive there as well. That would explain a LOT of bad behaviour that we have been wondering about as to whether it is just 'normal' or whether she is in fact more demanding in those areas than other 6-year olds. It turns out she probably is! What we do about it is another question entirely, and one we haven't explored deeply yet, except since getting home we have had a family meeting and together agreed the way we want other people to treat us, and therefore the way we have to treat them in return.
Anyway, since getting back from GB I find I am more deeply challenged than before about the gap between rich and poor, how I am one of the rich of this world (despite not feeling like it in our society), the stupidity and emptiness of consumerism and how that is not where happiness lies, about what am I doing to care for others, climate change and environmental challenges generally, and other stuff. Much thought and prayer is ensuing. Who knows when it will result in a clearer vision as to what is my own personal mission in life? - God's not usually in much of a hurry about these things! He prefers to take it nice and slow. "I want it now!!!" (Hmm, sounds familiar!)
Anyway one of my first decisions, after something that prompted me at GB, was to decide that one day per week should be computer-free, so for me that works best on Sundays. It felt at times like a deprivation, but also a nice oasis of peace on Sunday evening which carried on into Monday morning.
Time to put the kids to bed. More later (maybe).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
