Bill is back safely and all has gone well - he now knows all about the insides of laser printers - thrilling, isn't it?
Anyway I have made efforts to give Tamsin much more attention today, including some particularly concentrated one-to-one time just before lunch. It will be interesting to see if continuing to do this will ease the separation anxiety she has been showing occasionally lately, and reduce the general clinginess and demandingness. I just have to try to overcome my extreme boredom at playing 3-year old games ... and try to steer it to activities I find more acceptable like reading to her, doing jigsaws or some craft stuff.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Well it couldn't have got worse so it had to get better!
My mood, that is. Thank goodness I've felt better today. Bill is away on a course till tomorrow, and my Mum has come to stay - arriving at lunchtime today till tomorrow. I still managed to waste all morning on the computer, searching for possible birthday presents for Tamsin - and found this, only available in the USA! Hmm, but she is now a BIG Dora fan, so I have to decide if the cost of it and getting it shipped over here (an extra $65 surface mail, yikes or $225 air mail - I don't think so!!) is totally out of the question or should we just stick to a trampoline or a playhouse or something?
Anyway, Mum arrived after that, and we went off out in the foggy mist/misty fog?? to a lavender farm where we had a fantastic late lunch and then on to Bourton-on-the-Water model railway museum which thrilled Tamsin. Later on, a conversation with my Mum may have shed light on Tamsin's recent behaviour problems in that she needs some concentrated one-to-one time from me, rather than us just both being 'around' but not really doing stuff together. I was thinking I was spending plenty of time with her, but really I haven't been paying her much positive attention, as blogged yesterday, because I've really been finding her very difficult. But probably I need to turn that round and give her the concentrated attention and then she'll be less difficult to be with? Worth a try, anyway. It's strange how I know all this stuff very clearly - kids misbehave as negative attention is better than no attention at all - but it's so easy to miss it in your own life.
Anyway, an early-ish night (10.30pm now) is probably in order and turn over a new leaf tomorrow!!!
Anyway, Mum arrived after that, and we went off out in the foggy mist/misty fog?? to a lavender farm where we had a fantastic late lunch and then on to Bourton-on-the-Water model railway museum which thrilled Tamsin. Later on, a conversation with my Mum may have shed light on Tamsin's recent behaviour problems in that she needs some concentrated one-to-one time from me, rather than us just both being 'around' but not really doing stuff together. I was thinking I was spending plenty of time with her, but really I haven't been paying her much positive attention, as blogged yesterday, because I've really been finding her very difficult. But probably I need to turn that round and give her the concentrated attention and then she'll be less difficult to be with? Worth a try, anyway. It's strange how I know all this stuff very clearly - kids misbehave as negative attention is better than no attention at all - but it's so easy to miss it in your own life.
Anyway, an early-ish night (10.30pm now) is probably in order and turn over a new leaf tomorrow!!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Catching up
There's been some good stuff going on lately, but I keep being so tired I just fall asleep in the evening and don't get to blog.
We had a good Easter weekend including getting some jobs done or at least started which have been outstanding for months or years, including stripping the old varnish off some old tables and starting to re-paint, painting Tamsin's new toyboxes, Bill getting a towel rail up in the bathroom, and buying wooden flooring to go in the kitchen and toilet. We also had a great morning at church on Easter Sunday when seven baptisms took place, five of which were planned in advance and two were spontaneous!
Tamsin's done some CD-Rom learning, loves to type into a blank Word document, decorated some eggs with me on Good Friday and learned a lot of Spanish on Easter Sunday courtesy of Dora. However we don't like the constant "I want one of those" that she shouts at almost every advert, so as of yesterday as far as she is concerned Nick Jr is 'broken' (well, if you take the Sky card out, it is!) and it's CBeebies or nothing. I've done quite a lot of switching the TV off and refusing to put it on for a few hours, as I really don't like it on that much. Trouble is, I have to have the stamina for non-TV days.
And today especially I have been in a foul mood and could quite happily have sent everybody else to go and live with Grandpa forever, or something. I don't know what comes first - my bad mood or Tamsin's irritating behaviour. Maybe I just don't like 3-year olds. I know mine drives me mad far too much of the time, and I'm finding I just don't want to interact with her. I don't want to have to repeat myself 3 or 4 times, ending up shouting before she takes any notice of me; I don't want to have to repeat the rules of acceptable behaviour 20 times per day for another two years before she follows them; I don't want to pretend to be a dog on a lead or any other kind of plaything, and I don't want to be climbed on, jumped on and generally prodded about at all!
Thank goodness that Bill had an extra day off today, so he took over when I fell asleep on the sofa at lunchtime and then took Tamsin out for the afternoon. If you're reading, Bill, please do that again - lots!
We had a good Easter weekend including getting some jobs done or at least started which have been outstanding for months or years, including stripping the old varnish off some old tables and starting to re-paint, painting Tamsin's new toyboxes, Bill getting a towel rail up in the bathroom, and buying wooden flooring to go in the kitchen and toilet. We also had a great morning at church on Easter Sunday when seven baptisms took place, five of which were planned in advance and two were spontaneous!
Tamsin's done some CD-Rom learning, loves to type into a blank Word document, decorated some eggs with me on Good Friday and learned a lot of Spanish on Easter Sunday courtesy of Dora. However we don't like the constant "I want one of those" that she shouts at almost every advert, so as of yesterday as far as she is concerned Nick Jr is 'broken' (well, if you take the Sky card out, it is!) and it's CBeebies or nothing. I've done quite a lot of switching the TV off and refusing to put it on for a few hours, as I really don't like it on that much. Trouble is, I have to have the stamina for non-TV days.
And today especially I have been in a foul mood and could quite happily have sent everybody else to go and live with Grandpa forever, or something. I don't know what comes first - my bad mood or Tamsin's irritating behaviour. Maybe I just don't like 3-year olds. I know mine drives me mad far too much of the time, and I'm finding I just don't want to interact with her. I don't want to have to repeat myself 3 or 4 times, ending up shouting before she takes any notice of me; I don't want to have to repeat the rules of acceptable behaviour 20 times per day for another two years before she follows them; I don't want to pretend to be a dog on a lead or any other kind of plaything, and I don't want to be climbed on, jumped on and generally prodded about at all!
Thank goodness that Bill had an extra day off today, so he took over when I fell asleep on the sofa at lunchtime and then took Tamsin out for the afternoon. If you're reading, Bill, please do that again - lots!
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Interview questions
Thanks to Sarah for another great idea. It's a way for us all in the blogring to get to know each other a little better. If you want to participate, look at the end of this entry to find out how.
1. Can you tell us something about your 'decision to home ed' process - formative books, influential people, that sort of thing?
I really don't know when I first heard about the idea of home education, or when it became attractive to me. It feels like something I've known about forever. I think it became much more focussed for me when I read John Holt, "How Children Fail" and "How Children Learn". I went on the web and found his Growing Without Schooling website, and since then, as is my way, I have read an awful lot, including "Free Range Education" by Terri Dowty, and several others. I would say I have been sold on the theory of home education ever since I heard of it, but unsure about my ability to actually do it in terms of having the commitment and energy for it. Then somebody gave me the very wise advice that it isn't an irrevocable decision - and just to take it a year at a time (or even a term at a time if necessary)!
2. How do you think you will measure 'success' in your family's home education? (Feel free to reword the question - I'm trying to get at what will make you feel that you've succeeded, as opposed to any 'success' on the children's behalf!)
I want my children to feel free to be interested in anything. At school, there were definitely subjects it wasn't "cool" to be interested in, e.g. poetry, classical music, maths, or in fact to be intelligent or particularly successful at anything (teenage years particularly). If my children have wide-ranging interests that don't just coincide with the current 'fashions', find their passion in life and pursue it, and are the sort of people who work hard in their chosen field, then I will be delighted. I also want them to be people of integrity, to aim for excellence of character, and full of care and compassion for others. If they are that sort of person, I don't mind what they're doing for a living!
3. What is your all time favourite book and why (adults or children's, doesn't matter!)?
This is so difficult, as there are so many books that I have found powerful and moving and have taught me something, but there are 2 books that have had the most life-changing impact on me (apart from the Bible), so I'm going to 'cheat' and tell you about both! The first is "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff. Not that I follow it very closely, because I now think it doesn't have to be an 'all or nothing' thing, but it is the book that turned me away from conventional parenting and gave me a greater insight into some of the problems of so-called 'civilised' societies. It gave me an awful lot of food for thought over the years, and has probably changed who I am quite noticeably. I came across it nearly 20 years ago, when I didn't have children and didn't intend having any, but felt it contained something of the absolute "truth" about life that I constantly seek and love.
The second book is "Stormie" by Stormie Omartian. This is the life story of a 60s singer and actress who was on the verge of suicide when she found faith in Jesus and gradually, over 14 years, was restored to full emotional health. When I have been barely clinging on by my fingernails, it has been this story that has given me hope and the strength to carry on.
4. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?
I would love to live for a while somewhere in the mountains, where I could ski a lot! I would adore living in Colorado (even though John Denver's no longer there) or somewhere like Switzerland would be great. I think I would also love the California coast for a while. Having said all that, I love living where I do now (North Cotswolds, Gloucestershire) and would probably be very homesick for the UK if I lived anywhere abroad, and would miss my friends and family, so I think I'll probably stay put!
5. What is the thing that annoys you above all else, and what is the thing that you love above all else? Interpret any way you like!!!
The thing that can get me angrier than anything else is people talking about me behind my back, in a kind of condescending way, "there, there, poor dear, we'd better discuss what's best for her because she's not capable...". This has a specific history, which I don't want to go into, but I know exactly where it comes from and I have been known to go incandescent with rage when it felt like this was what was happening to me. I hate, therefore, not knowing what official correspondence is saying about me (thinking of doctor's referral letters and the like) in case that's the attitude they're taking.
The thing I love above all else - well, I feel I ought to say here that it's Jesus since, based on my true beliefs, He is the one to whom I owe everything, but in simple 'feelings' terms, the winners are my children, particularly so because it's been so unexpected. I didn't want children when I was younger, thought I would never have any, and certainly didn't consider myself maternal at all. What a complete surprise and revelation it has been to me to have children and discover that my entire worldview has changed and my entire image of myself has changed so drastically. And I just love how my own children (most of the time) have to me a kind of 'Ready Brek' glow around them that just makes them the most beautiful things in the whole world. I do love my husband, too, but I 'expected' that, and it's the shock of loving my children so much that makes it seem so strong to me.
If YOU want to be interviewed:
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions. (If you don’t have a blog, let this inspire you to begin one!!)
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions
1. Can you tell us something about your 'decision to home ed' process - formative books, influential people, that sort of thing?
I really don't know when I first heard about the idea of home education, or when it became attractive to me. It feels like something I've known about forever. I think it became much more focussed for me when I read John Holt, "How Children Fail" and "How Children Learn". I went on the web and found his Growing Without Schooling website, and since then, as is my way, I have read an awful lot, including "Free Range Education" by Terri Dowty, and several others. I would say I have been sold on the theory of home education ever since I heard of it, but unsure about my ability to actually do it in terms of having the commitment and energy for it. Then somebody gave me the very wise advice that it isn't an irrevocable decision - and just to take it a year at a time (or even a term at a time if necessary)!
2. How do you think you will measure 'success' in your family's home education? (Feel free to reword the question - I'm trying to get at what will make you feel that you've succeeded, as opposed to any 'success' on the children's behalf!)
I want my children to feel free to be interested in anything. At school, there were definitely subjects it wasn't "cool" to be interested in, e.g. poetry, classical music, maths, or in fact to be intelligent or particularly successful at anything (teenage years particularly). If my children have wide-ranging interests that don't just coincide with the current 'fashions', find their passion in life and pursue it, and are the sort of people who work hard in their chosen field, then I will be delighted. I also want them to be people of integrity, to aim for excellence of character, and full of care and compassion for others. If they are that sort of person, I don't mind what they're doing for a living!
3. What is your all time favourite book and why (adults or children's, doesn't matter!)?
This is so difficult, as there are so many books that I have found powerful and moving and have taught me something, but there are 2 books that have had the most life-changing impact on me (apart from the Bible), so I'm going to 'cheat' and tell you about both! The first is "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff. Not that I follow it very closely, because I now think it doesn't have to be an 'all or nothing' thing, but it is the book that turned me away from conventional parenting and gave me a greater insight into some of the problems of so-called 'civilised' societies. It gave me an awful lot of food for thought over the years, and has probably changed who I am quite noticeably. I came across it nearly 20 years ago, when I didn't have children and didn't intend having any, but felt it contained something of the absolute "truth" about life that I constantly seek and love.
The second book is "Stormie" by Stormie Omartian. This is the life story of a 60s singer and actress who was on the verge of suicide when she found faith in Jesus and gradually, over 14 years, was restored to full emotional health. When I have been barely clinging on by my fingernails, it has been this story that has given me hope and the strength to carry on.
4. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?
I would love to live for a while somewhere in the mountains, where I could ski a lot! I would adore living in Colorado (even though John Denver's no longer there) or somewhere like Switzerland would be great. I think I would also love the California coast for a while. Having said all that, I love living where I do now (North Cotswolds, Gloucestershire) and would probably be very homesick for the UK if I lived anywhere abroad, and would miss my friends and family, so I think I'll probably stay put!
5. What is the thing that annoys you above all else, and what is the thing that you love above all else? Interpret any way you like!!!
The thing that can get me angrier than anything else is people talking about me behind my back, in a kind of condescending way, "there, there, poor dear, we'd better discuss what's best for her because she's not capable...". This has a specific history, which I don't want to go into, but I know exactly where it comes from and I have been known to go incandescent with rage when it felt like this was what was happening to me. I hate, therefore, not knowing what official correspondence is saying about me (thinking of doctor's referral letters and the like) in case that's the attitude they're taking.
The thing I love above all else - well, I feel I ought to say here that it's Jesus since, based on my true beliefs, He is the one to whom I owe everything, but in simple 'feelings' terms, the winners are my children, particularly so because it's been so unexpected. I didn't want children when I was younger, thought I would never have any, and certainly didn't consider myself maternal at all. What a complete surprise and revelation it has been to me to have children and discover that my entire worldview has changed and my entire image of myself has changed so drastically. And I just love how my own children (most of the time) have to me a kind of 'Ready Brek' glow around them that just makes them the most beautiful things in the whole world. I do love my husband, too, but I 'expected' that, and it's the shock of loving my children so much that makes it seem so strong to me.
If YOU want to be interviewed:
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions. (If you don’t have a blog, let this inspire you to begin one!!)
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions
Thursday, March 24, 2005
The one where Tamsin doesn't go to Grandpa's
Tamsin usually has a great time on her 'Grandpa days' - when my Dad comes to fetch her and take her to his house and/or out for the day. But she's been getting quite clingy lately, always wanting to be picked up and carried, and yesterday she kept hanging on to me when I was trying to leave her at playschool as well (though she wasn't crying, and loves playschool). And this morning she got so upset and distraught at leaving me that in the end we gave up and she stayed home. I can't work out what's going on. Either I've been such a monster mummy lately that she thinks I don't love her any more so is afraid to leave me in case I disappear, or it's a delayed 'new baby' reaction... or something else? It's worrying, though.
And I was planning on catching up on a bit of sleep while she was out today, which obviously didn't happen, so I was tired and unmotivated today too - cue too much Tv again except when were out at Tesco's doing a big shop. I had to try and buy her Easter egg without her seeing it. Am planning an Easter Egg Hunt round the house on Sunday, although we've never done one before so it's new for all of us.
And now I must go to bed - I'm whacked.
And I was planning on catching up on a bit of sleep while she was out today, which obviously didn't happen, so I was tired and unmotivated today too - cue too much Tv again except when were out at Tesco's doing a big shop. I had to try and buy her Easter egg without her seeing it. Am planning an Easter Egg Hunt round the house on Sunday, although we've never done one before so it's new for all of us.
And now I must go to bed - I'm whacked.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The one where Isabelle rolls over!
Yes, I popped out of the room for a few minutes this morning (to check my e-mail, of course) and heard a bit of complaining from Isabelle in the next room - went back in, to find her stuck lying on her tummy! I left her on her back, and Tamsin swears Isabelle did it all on her own. She's also cooing lots, chewing on fingers lots (hers and ours) and smiling lots.
Packed Tamsin off to playschool this morning, and came home and mostly just vegged on the computer, napped for half-an-hour and then off to the homeopath, to complain all about my lethargy, lack of motivation and irritability. I have a remedy to take tonight and tomorrow morning, and then wait a couple of weeks to see what happens.
Kate collected Tamsin from playschool and brought her home, and I asked her if she'd had a nice time at Center Parcs ........ she said yes, and then mumbled in some embarrassment "Oh, I didn't tell you we were going, did I?" and a quick explanation about how the other friend she HAD gone with had booked it, got it very cheaply, and invited Kate & Co to go with her .... and it was all very last minute .... Hmmm. It still doesn't explain why she didn't say a word to me about it either before or after until I raised it. We talk to each other most days, for one thing and another. It wasn't a good time to have a conversation about it as Isabelle was fussing madly, K's daughter fell over and bumped herself right then, and Kate had to rush off to get her eldest from school. I still don't feel good about it all, and think we need to clear the air a little, but we're almost never child-free for an uninterrupted conversation so it might be difficult.
This afternoon we've washed the car and discovered that Tamsin can't take a dose of her own medicine .... after pointing the hose at me and getting me wet about 4 times (yes, I know how foolish it is to let the 3-year-old have control of the hose), and after warnings, I took it off her and sprayed her ... resulting in floods of tears, naturellement! After a bit of joint TV/computer time, I then went up in the loft to get the 6-9 month baby clothes out, but couldn't find the door bouncer thing anywhere, which I am sure Isabelle would start to love about now. Tamsin absolutely adored it. Apart from that, I have spent far too much time bidding on stuff on Ebay, and now really *must* get on with finishing off updating our finances, and doing a new budget.
Oh, and last night's waking total was 5: 3 wakings by Isabelle, 1 by Tamsin and 1 by Bill, all between midnight and 6.30am. No wonder I'm so knackered.
Packed Tamsin off to playschool this morning, and came home and mostly just vegged on the computer, napped for half-an-hour and then off to the homeopath, to complain all about my lethargy, lack of motivation and irritability. I have a remedy to take tonight and tomorrow morning, and then wait a couple of weeks to see what happens.
Kate collected Tamsin from playschool and brought her home, and I asked her if she'd had a nice time at Center Parcs ........ she said yes, and then mumbled in some embarrassment "Oh, I didn't tell you we were going, did I?" and a quick explanation about how the other friend she HAD gone with had booked it, got it very cheaply, and invited Kate & Co to go with her .... and it was all very last minute .... Hmmm. It still doesn't explain why she didn't say a word to me about it either before or after until I raised it. We talk to each other most days, for one thing and another. It wasn't a good time to have a conversation about it as Isabelle was fussing madly, K's daughter fell over and bumped herself right then, and Kate had to rush off to get her eldest from school. I still don't feel good about it all, and think we need to clear the air a little, but we're almost never child-free for an uninterrupted conversation so it might be difficult.
This afternoon we've washed the car and discovered that Tamsin can't take a dose of her own medicine .... after pointing the hose at me and getting me wet about 4 times (yes, I know how foolish it is to let the 3-year-old have control of the hose), and after warnings, I took it off her and sprayed her ... resulting in floods of tears, naturellement! After a bit of joint TV/computer time, I then went up in the loft to get the 6-9 month baby clothes out, but couldn't find the door bouncer thing anywhere, which I am sure Isabelle would start to love about now. Tamsin absolutely adored it. Apart from that, I have spent far too much time bidding on stuff on Ebay, and now really *must* get on with finishing off updating our finances, and doing a new budget.
Oh, and last night's waking total was 5: 3 wakings by Isabelle, 1 by Tamsin and 1 by Bill, all between midnight and 6.30am. No wonder I'm so knackered.
Monday, March 21, 2005
The one where I get hurt by a friend
Nothing to do with HE, but it's been on my mind all day, so I have to blog it. My friend, Kate, with whom I job-share and child-share and spend quite a lot of time, has been to Center Parcs this weekend. How nice for her, you might think. Except that she and her family went last year, with another friend and her daughter, and discussing it afterwards I said I would love to do that. She said they were thinking of making it an annual 'March' event, so every now and then over the past few months I would ask her if they were making any plans to go again because we would love to go with them. She always said they hadn't planned anything yet. And then this morning I popped in to see her at work (I am still on maternity leave) to ask about some child-care, only to find my temporary replacement there instead and when I asked where Kate was, she said "Center Parcs". So she has deliberately not said anything to me, and kept it quiet and gone without us.
I thought we were good friends, I thought we got on very well, I get on well (but not *too well*!) with her husband (in fact I knew him first because we met at work), our kids have a great time together ...... so what's the problem? I'm hurt, and I'm not sure how to handle it. After all, she's not obliged to invite us on her holiday, is she? And, TBH, we don't tend to deeply share things. I tend to go into relationships at what I think is the other person's comfort level. If they are open and confiding, then I am too. If they are inhibited and private, so am I. And Kate and I definitely have the more 'inhibited and private' type of relationship. So to confront her directly about it would definitely be a step beyond where we've been - and maybe I'd hear something I don't want to hear? But there's a lump in my chest and a dark cloud has been cast over a lovely day.
Anyway, apart from that, Tamsin has had some definite biological education today when I took her with me for my smear test ... oh and a lovely conversation while I was dressing afterwards when she was asking me how did you spell 'test', and I encouraged her to tell me how she thought it was spelled, as I said the word very slowly, and she got it absolutely right! We've worked through her new 'Postman Pat' magazine with its stories, puzzles and questions. We've read about Jesus' entry into Jerusalem in the Children's Bible. We've done a bit of Brio train track, and quite a lot of watching Nick Jr.
Am also feeling a bit useless educationally. 'Everybody else' seems to know where they are with their HE, i.e. they are Montessori, or autonomous, or Steiner-influenced or something. I still don't feel I know enough about any of those things to know if I want to follow them. We don't do much. In some ways I think that's right, because one of my reasons for wanting to HE is that I think formal learning comes too soon in this country, and there is not enough time for free play, but is that just my excuse for being plain lazy? I spend much of my day at the computer with Tamsin in front of the TV and playing with something at the same time. I don't think it's right, but I feel at a bit of a loss to know what activities to put in front of her. And besides, I am a computer addict .... sometimes I wonder if I am a bit depressed, and just hiding here. Certainly feel quite lethargic and unmotivated for much of the time. Or it could just be simple sleep deprivation - Isabelle wakes maybe 3-4 times per night and Tamsin once during the night and then around 5.30-6am and only sleeps very lightly after that so I'm not getting many consecutive hours of sleep at all.
I thought we were good friends, I thought we got on very well, I get on well (but not *too well*!) with her husband (in fact I knew him first because we met at work), our kids have a great time together ...... so what's the problem? I'm hurt, and I'm not sure how to handle it. After all, she's not obliged to invite us on her holiday, is she? And, TBH, we don't tend to deeply share things. I tend to go into relationships at what I think is the other person's comfort level. If they are open and confiding, then I am too. If they are inhibited and private, so am I. And Kate and I definitely have the more 'inhibited and private' type of relationship. So to confront her directly about it would definitely be a step beyond where we've been - and maybe I'd hear something I don't want to hear? But there's a lump in my chest and a dark cloud has been cast over a lovely day.
Anyway, apart from that, Tamsin has had some definite biological education today when I took her with me for my smear test ... oh and a lovely conversation while I was dressing afterwards when she was asking me how did you spell 'test', and I encouraged her to tell me how she thought it was spelled, as I said the word very slowly, and she got it absolutely right! We've worked through her new 'Postman Pat' magazine with its stories, puzzles and questions. We've read about Jesus' entry into Jerusalem in the Children's Bible. We've done a bit of Brio train track, and quite a lot of watching Nick Jr.
Am also feeling a bit useless educationally. 'Everybody else' seems to know where they are with their HE, i.e. they are Montessori, or autonomous, or Steiner-influenced or something. I still don't feel I know enough about any of those things to know if I want to follow them. We don't do much. In some ways I think that's right, because one of my reasons for wanting to HE is that I think formal learning comes too soon in this country, and there is not enough time for free play, but is that just my excuse for being plain lazy? I spend much of my day at the computer with Tamsin in front of the TV and playing with something at the same time. I don't think it's right, but I feel at a bit of a loss to know what activities to put in front of her. And besides, I am a computer addict .... sometimes I wonder if I am a bit depressed, and just hiding here. Certainly feel quite lethargic and unmotivated for much of the time. Or it could just be simple sleep deprivation - Isabelle wakes maybe 3-4 times per night and Tamsin once during the night and then around 5.30-6am and only sleeps very lightly after that so I'm not getting many consecutive hours of sleep at all.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
The one where I sell some baby clothes :-(
Yesterday (was so tired last night I went to bed with Tamsin at 8pm and never got up again so didn't get to blog) felt like a bit of a significant moment - I packed up and labelled some of the newborn and 0-3 month baby clothes and took them to a sale. Well, I'm not going to use them again ...(some pangs of regret, and some feelings of relief and moving on). Although strangely, I have since been imagining myself having (another) baby boy... and wondering if *something* was trying to tell me there is another baby in my future. But if so, I still won't need all the girls' clothes! Or maybe it's just those feelings of missing the baby boy I did have, which always come more strongly at this time of year as he was born at the end of April and Spring is very much linked with him in my mind. One of the most incredibly powerful memories I shall always have is of driving home with him in the car the day we came out of the hospital after 4 weeks inside ... and my incredible joy and euphoria that he was coming home with us (a strength of feeling I can't ever imagine repeating in my lifetime), linked with amazement at the amount of *green* and *lush* growth that had happened during the month of May while I had been sequestered inside the hospital. It was like being born myself into a whole new world, in many ways. Anyway, I digress. Maybe the 'baby boy' feelings were just because some good friends of ours have just had their first baby, a boy, and I am feeling all warm and gooey about them - they will be fantastic parents and I am really pleased for them. And I helped in a little way by giving them some help with pre-conception health and nutrition to get them into tip-top condition before conceiving - something which I would love to do on a freelance basis at some point when I can get myself a bit better trained and organised.
Anyway, back to the sale. The bad news - I spent £53 on buying things for us, and received £4.55 for my stuff .... as always the money flows in the wrong direction! There didn't seem to be many buyers for the newborn stuff so I'll try again at the NCT sale in a couple of weeks.
The good news - I bought some summer clothes for Isabelle (she is the opposite season from Tamsin so we needed summer stuff) and some 4-5 year old clothes for Tamsin, and also some educational stuff.
A two-tape set of "Professor Playtime's Play and Learn Collection" with songs teaching about time, times tables, music, french, science and spelling.
Jump Ahead Starting School 2000 CD-Rom
Deluxe Reader Rabbit 1 CD-Rom
A British Isles map jigsaw
Some story books including an Usborne "Tales from Littletown" early reader
DK My First Activity Book
.... none of which cost more than £1 each.
Oh, and on the subject of bargains, or maybe it comes under the heading of "The Lord doth provide ...." Bill handed me a CD-Rom of Zoombinis Mountain Rescue which he had found lying around at the university!
And finally, just to remind myself that education does occasionally go on here, when we were getting breakfast yesterday morning, Tamsin found a dead fly on her chair, so we got out the magnifying glass and studied it, and got our our huge DK "Animal" book and looked up what sort of fly it was (a type of blow-fly) and found more details like the shiny metallic body and the hairs ... all very interesting!
Anyway, back to the sale. The bad news - I spent £53 on buying things for us, and received £4.55 for my stuff .... as always the money flows in the wrong direction! There didn't seem to be many buyers for the newborn stuff so I'll try again at the NCT sale in a couple of weeks.
The good news - I bought some summer clothes for Isabelle (she is the opposite season from Tamsin so we needed summer stuff) and some 4-5 year old clothes for Tamsin, and also some educational stuff.
A two-tape set of "Professor Playtime's Play and Learn Collection" with songs teaching about time, times tables, music, french, science and spelling.
Jump Ahead Starting School 2000 CD-Rom
Deluxe Reader Rabbit 1 CD-Rom
A British Isles map jigsaw
Some story books including an Usborne "Tales from Littletown" early reader
DK My First Activity Book
.... none of which cost more than £1 each.
Oh, and on the subject of bargains, or maybe it comes under the heading of "The Lord doth provide ...." Bill handed me a CD-Rom of Zoombinis Mountain Rescue which he had found lying around at the university!
And finally, just to remind myself that education does occasionally go on here, when we were getting breakfast yesterday morning, Tamsin found a dead fly on her chair, so we got out the magnifying glass and studied it, and got our our huge DK "Animal" book and looked up what sort of fly it was (a type of blow-fly) and found more details like the shiny metallic body and the hairs ... all very interesting!
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I've lost a week!
I can't believe I haven't blogged for a week - and now I can't remember what on earth we've done. Oh yes, we did go to @Bristol on Monday, as arranged by Claire (thanks Claire). It was lovely to meet baby Josie along with her mummy and siblings, but she and Isabelle decided not to bother making eye contact. Maybe in years to come when we tell them how they were unexpectedly born only 2 days apart, they might take more interest in each other. We had a good time looking round, and I was impressed how much attention Tamsin paid and how much she seemed to take in. For example, I actually got through an explanation of the lifecycle of the frog while she listened attentively, and she was fascinated by the model termite's nest, especially when I told her that Daddy had seen lots of them for real when he lived in Uganda (and when I got home he told us how he had once brought home to the UK a queen termite - HM Customs must have missed that!). Tamsin hates loud noises, though, and is frightened by aeroplanes, vacuum cleaners, hand-dryers etc, so in the tropical rainforest bit when the steam came hissing in, she got very upset and we had to dash through with her hands pressed firmly over her ears. She said she didn't want to go and see the planetarium show as I said I couldn't be sure whether it was loud or not, so we skipped that and left at around 4.30pm before the traffic got too bad. I then ruined it by calling in at Toys R Us on the way home (we haven't got one near us, and I was curious) but managed to get out without buying anything, although I did pick up a few ideas for her birthday.
But as for the rest of the week, my mind is a complete blank, and as I really should be getting on with getting up-to-date with our finances, I must stop. I haven't done our money stuff properly since last September, so things are somewhat in disarray!
But as for the rest of the week, my mind is a complete blank, and as I really should be getting on with getting up-to-date with our finances, I must stop. I haven't done our money stuff properly since last September, so things are somewhat in disarray!
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Saving babies
OK, this post may be controversial among some people, but it's my blog and it's what I believe, OK?
Now I believe in the 'Word made flesh' and 'the Way, the Truth and the Life', but many things that have the label 'Christian' attached to them put me right off, and that certainly goes for much parenting information. I was chatting with my pregnant friend who visited yesterday and, attempting to find out whether she was leaning towards a 'schedule' or an 'on demand' kind of approach, asked her which books she had read so far. Shock and horror when she said the only one she had read was "Babywise" .....!!! For those who don't know, this is originally a Christian-based parenting course/book which has been secularised, but is highly controversial as it is highly scheduled and has led to failure-to-thrive, dehydration and hungry babies, let alone simply the mental agony of those poor babies left to cry until the appropriate time period has elapsed till their next feeding. There is plenty of argument and evidence against it on this site. I had hoped this awful approach had stayed firmly in the USA, where it originated, but sadly it is creeping into the UK and I hate it. I may not have been able to give her a lot of useful advice or help in any other way, but I am just thankful that I have managed to warn her against this approach, and hopefully, if she reads the info I gave her, she will not go near it with the proverbial bargepole.
Now I believe in the 'Word made flesh' and 'the Way, the Truth and the Life', but many things that have the label 'Christian' attached to them put me right off, and that certainly goes for much parenting information. I was chatting with my pregnant friend who visited yesterday and, attempting to find out whether she was leaning towards a 'schedule' or an 'on demand' kind of approach, asked her which books she had read so far. Shock and horror when she said the only one she had read was "Babywise" .....!!! For those who don't know, this is originally a Christian-based parenting course/book which has been secularised, but is highly controversial as it is highly scheduled and has led to failure-to-thrive, dehydration and hungry babies, let alone simply the mental agony of those poor babies left to cry until the appropriate time period has elapsed till their next feeding. There is plenty of argument and evidence against it on this site. I had hoped this awful approach had stayed firmly in the USA, where it originated, but sadly it is creeping into the UK and I hate it. I may not have been able to give her a lot of useful advice or help in any other way, but I am just thankful that I have managed to warn her against this approach, and hopefully, if she reads the info I gave her, she will not go near it with the proverbial bargepole.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Retail and other therapies
Hmm, some link-following and browsing has just led me to bid on Ebay on "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego" and a double Dorling Kindersley pack of "Become a World Explorer/Science Explorer", plus buying a "Green Eggs and Ham" CD-Rom from Amazon, and it's really only a matter of time before I succumb to Zoombinis and some Geomags. I blame you MuddlePuddlers - you're a bad influence!
The 'other therapy' mentioned is homeopathy - took Isabelle for a follow-up appointment yesterday and she's got another remedy for her wind/general unsettledness problems. After the past few days I am so fed up of her falling asleep (only on the boob) and then waking up after 15 minutes or so and screaming unless she's put back on the boob again ... and on and on. In fact, she's doing it right now. Until only a week ago or thereabouts she was mostly able to go to sleep without being on the breast but all of a sudden it's changed and she really does cry so much absolutely nothing else will settle her. I've also booked a homeopathy appointment for myself in a couple of weeks - I have some doubt as to whether it will do much for my tiredness and irritability but it's worth a try. Poor old Tamsin still gets the rough end of my tongue (mmm, what a strange phrase!) much more often than necessary.
Anyway, today should be fairly nice as Tamsin is out until about 2.30pm at playschool and then a friend's house, and this afternoon a very pregnant friend (38 weeks) is coming to visit - it's her first baby so I should be able to feel wise and helpful by giving her lots of advice (if she asks, which I think she might!). OTOH she might take one look at my screaming Isabelle and my unruly hitting and shouting 3-year old and decide she's not going to listen to a word I say - and who could blame her!
The 'other therapy' mentioned is homeopathy - took Isabelle for a follow-up appointment yesterday and she's got another remedy for her wind/general unsettledness problems. After the past few days I am so fed up of her falling asleep (only on the boob) and then waking up after 15 minutes or so and screaming unless she's put back on the boob again ... and on and on. In fact, she's doing it right now. Until only a week ago or thereabouts she was mostly able to go to sleep without being on the breast but all of a sudden it's changed and she really does cry so much absolutely nothing else will settle her. I've also booked a homeopathy appointment for myself in a couple of weeks - I have some doubt as to whether it will do much for my tiredness and irritability but it's worth a try. Poor old Tamsin still gets the rough end of my tongue (mmm, what a strange phrase!) much more often than necessary.
Anyway, today should be fairly nice as Tamsin is out until about 2.30pm at playschool and then a friend's house, and this afternoon a very pregnant friend (38 weeks) is coming to visit - it's her first baby so I should be able to feel wise and helpful by giving her lots of advice (if she asks, which I think she might!). OTOH she might take one look at my screaming Isabelle and my unruly hitting and shouting 3-year old and decide she's not going to listen to a word I say - and who could blame her!
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Monday
...started with tears (mine, Tamsin's and Isabelle's). After being woken several times in the night, and seeing 3am, 4am, 5am and 6am ticking by, I was in rather a fragile state. Bill generously stayed close by and in fact didn't leave for work until about 10.30am. My Mum was also still here, and between them they kept Tamsin out of the way while Isabelle and I stayed in bed until about 10am, catching up a little.
Later in the morning, Mum took us all out to Cirencester, where I had a successful time in a couple of charity shops. This was my haul:
Earth and Sky First Discovery book
First Scholastic Encyclopedia - All about People
100 great stories from British History
Usborne - 1001 animals to spot
My Naughty Little Sister Storybook
and for me, "A Search for Charismatic Reality - one man's pilgrimage"!!!!
I also discovered that Ottakar's bookshop has a coffee-shop in it, which was a lovely discovery as I thought my nearest place like that was Oxford, an hour's drive away, and now I find I can probably sneak out on a morning that Tamsin's at playschool and have an hour or two in Cirencester, only half-an-hour's drive, with books and a coffee - how perfect is that?
I ended the day feeling much better than I began it, thank goodness, and last night wasn't so bad with 'only' about 3 wakings from Isabelle and 2 from Tamsin ..... (sigh).
Later in the morning, Mum took us all out to Cirencester, where I had a successful time in a couple of charity shops. This was my haul:
Earth and Sky First Discovery book
First Scholastic Encyclopedia - All about People
100 great stories from British History
Usborne - 1001 animals to spot
My Naughty Little Sister Storybook
and for me, "A Search for Charismatic Reality - one man's pilgrimage"!!!!
I also discovered that Ottakar's bookshop has a coffee-shop in it, which was a lovely discovery as I thought my nearest place like that was Oxford, an hour's drive away, and now I find I can probably sneak out on a morning that Tamsin's at playschool and have an hour or two in Cirencester, only half-an-hour's drive, with books and a coffee - how perfect is that?
I ended the day feeling much better than I began it, thank goodness, and last night wasn't so bad with 'only' about 3 wakings from Isabelle and 2 from Tamsin ..... (sigh).
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Good weekend
Saturday started well, with Tamsin and I coming downstairs for breakfast, when she found a small ruler. "What's that?" she said, and I explained about rulers and measuring things, upon which we started to do just that. We found things all round the room to measure, and discussed sizes and shapes. I can't remember what happened next - breakfast, I expect - but later in the morning I found an old Usborne "Sizes" workbook which we worked through - all 24 pages at Tamsin's insistence! So now she knows about long, short, wide, narrow, fat, thin - much of which she knew already but the width aspect was new to her. As I said to DH, that was probably about a month's worth of school maths lessons covered in an hour!
Other things on Saturday included cooking, visiting the library and the usual lots of Brio track and Nick Junior. Her funniest choice of book at the library was one about trains - but not a kid's book. She chose "West Country Branch Lines - a colour portfolio" - mind-numbingly boring to most people (descriptions of various engines, carriages and their precise numbers and timings of services) but that girl does love trains!!! Hmmm, perhaps I ought to Google a bit and help her learn more about them.
Preparations needed to be made for Isabelle's blessing and dedication on Sunday, so I made a couple of bits but needed to go shopping for more food. With various procrastinations and delays, in the end I asked Bill to put Tamsin to bed while I went to Tesco (hiss, boo) with Isabelle. "Hmmm," he said, "I was going to slip out while you were putting Tamsin to bed to get you a Mother's Day card. So you'll have to get your own!" And, strangely enough - I didn't mind. Perfect opportunity to get myself exactly what I wanted, I thought. So I bought myself a lavish bouquet of flowers and the tastiest box of chocolates I could find, along with a card, figuring this would set a minimum standard for future years! If there had been a DVD I wanted, I would have had one of those too!
Back home I came, at about 10pm, and started cooking. It's always the same with me - I never get organised in advance and end up with a mad panic at the end. I am a hopeless hostess!
Sunday
Bill and I are both terrible time-keepers. We are late just about everywhere we go. It's a terrible habit, and I'm strangely not quite sure why it always happens. Probably because we always underestimate how long the 'getting ready' will take. So we were late for our own daughter's blessing and dedication service! When we walked in, about 5 minutes late, a spontaneous round of applause and cheers erupted. Apparently before we got there, Philip, our pastor, said "I've never conducted a dedication without the baby here before!" Anyway, apart from that, all went exceedingly well with Isabelle being charmingly cute and relaxed when Philip had hold of her. He also gave Tamsin a little present, which was a whistle in the shape of a train, which she was delighted to find sounds just like a train when you blow it. Not too loud, thankfully!
We then had Isabelle's godparents, David and Lana, and my Mum and my Dad back to our house for lunch. Which sounds like a delightful family occasion, until you realise that my parents divorced 28 years ago and their feelings towards each other have only deteriorated as the years have passed. My Dad, bless him, does his best to turn a deaf ear to my Mum's frankly bitchy and cutting comments that she just can't help spouting, and TBH last night I was contemplating telling her that if she made any such comments today, she would never be able to come to any family event that I was arranging in future. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) she was late arriving, having been stuck behind a slow lorry, so missed the actual service and I didn't have time to decide whether to have that conversation with her or not. I probably wouldn't have had the courage, in the end, but one of these days ........ She said a couple of somewhat rude things, but my Dad and I just rolled our eyes at each other and ignored it. I am so fed up with the strained atmosphere any time she is around, however, and I must find the right way to tackle it one of these days.
Apart from that, it has been a very happy and celebratory day. When we had Tamsin's dedication, I was so very emotional about it because Benjamin had never made it as far as his, although he was included and mentioned on that day, and I was just over the moon that Tamsin was still alive and well! Today that feeling has been present again and it is another reminder that every day of our children's lives is a gift that we cannot take for granted. Give all your little ones a special hug from me in memory of Benjamin, will you?
Other things on Saturday included cooking, visiting the library and the usual lots of Brio track and Nick Junior. Her funniest choice of book at the library was one about trains - but not a kid's book. She chose "West Country Branch Lines - a colour portfolio" - mind-numbingly boring to most people (descriptions of various engines, carriages and their precise numbers and timings of services) but that girl does love trains!!! Hmmm, perhaps I ought to Google a bit and help her learn more about them.
Preparations needed to be made for Isabelle's blessing and dedication on Sunday, so I made a couple of bits but needed to go shopping for more food. With various procrastinations and delays, in the end I asked Bill to put Tamsin to bed while I went to Tesco (hiss, boo) with Isabelle. "Hmmm," he said, "I was going to slip out while you were putting Tamsin to bed to get you a Mother's Day card. So you'll have to get your own!" And, strangely enough - I didn't mind. Perfect opportunity to get myself exactly what I wanted, I thought. So I bought myself a lavish bouquet of flowers and the tastiest box of chocolates I could find, along with a card, figuring this would set a minimum standard for future years! If there had been a DVD I wanted, I would have had one of those too!
Back home I came, at about 10pm, and started cooking. It's always the same with me - I never get organised in advance and end up with a mad panic at the end. I am a hopeless hostess!
Sunday
Bill and I are both terrible time-keepers. We are late just about everywhere we go. It's a terrible habit, and I'm strangely not quite sure why it always happens. Probably because we always underestimate how long the 'getting ready' will take. So we were late for our own daughter's blessing and dedication service! When we walked in, about 5 minutes late, a spontaneous round of applause and cheers erupted. Apparently before we got there, Philip, our pastor, said "I've never conducted a dedication without the baby here before!" Anyway, apart from that, all went exceedingly well with Isabelle being charmingly cute and relaxed when Philip had hold of her. He also gave Tamsin a little present, which was a whistle in the shape of a train, which she was delighted to find sounds just like a train when you blow it. Not too loud, thankfully!
We then had Isabelle's godparents, David and Lana, and my Mum and my Dad back to our house for lunch. Which sounds like a delightful family occasion, until you realise that my parents divorced 28 years ago and their feelings towards each other have only deteriorated as the years have passed. My Dad, bless him, does his best to turn a deaf ear to my Mum's frankly bitchy and cutting comments that she just can't help spouting, and TBH last night I was contemplating telling her that if she made any such comments today, she would never be able to come to any family event that I was arranging in future. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) she was late arriving, having been stuck behind a slow lorry, so missed the actual service and I didn't have time to decide whether to have that conversation with her or not. I probably wouldn't have had the courage, in the end, but one of these days ........ She said a couple of somewhat rude things, but my Dad and I just rolled our eyes at each other and ignored it. I am so fed up with the strained atmosphere any time she is around, however, and I must find the right way to tackle it one of these days.
Apart from that, it has been a very happy and celebratory day. When we had Tamsin's dedication, I was so very emotional about it because Benjamin had never made it as far as his, although he was included and mentioned on that day, and I was just over the moon that Tamsin was still alive and well! Today that feeling has been present again and it is another reminder that every day of our children's lives is a gift that we cannot take for granted. Give all your little ones a special hug from me in memory of Benjamin, will you?
Good weekend
Saturday started well, with Tamsin and I coming downstairs for breakfast, when she found a small ruler. "What's that?" she said, and I explained about rulers and measuring things, upon which we started to do just that. We found things all round the room to measure, and discussed sizes and shapes. I can't remember what happened next - breakfast, I expect - but later in the morning I found an old Usborne "Sizes" workbook which we worked through - all 24 pages at Tamsin's insistence! So now she knows about long, short, wide, narrow, fat, thin - much of which she knew already but the width aspect was new to her. As I said to DH, that was probably about a month's worth of school maths lessons covered in an hour!
Other things on Saturday included cooking, visiting the library and the usual lots of Brio track and Nick Junior. Her funniest choice of book at the library was one about trains - but not a kid's book. She chose "West Country Branch Lines - a colour portfolio" - mind-numbingly boring to most people (descriptions of various engines, carriages and their precise numbers and timings of services) but that girl does love trains!!! Hmmm, perhaps I ought to Google a bit and help her learn more about them.
Preparations needed to be made for Isabelle's blessing and dedication on Sunday, so I made a couple of bits but needed to go shopping for more food. With various procrastinations and delays, in the end I asked Bill to put Tamsin to bed while I went to Tesco (hiss, boo) with Isabelle. "Hmmm," he said, "I was going to slip out while you were putting Tamsin to bed to get you a Mother's Day card. So you'll have to get your own!" And, strangely enough - I didn't mind. Perfect opportunity to get myself exactly what I wanted, I thought. So I bought myself a lavish bouquet of flowers and the tastiest box of chocolates I could find, along with a card, figuring this would set a minimum standard for future years! If there had been a DVD I wanted, I would have had one of those too!
Back home I came, at about 10pm, and started cooking. It's always the same with me - I never get organised in advance and end up with a mad panic at the end. I am a hopeless hostess!
Sunday
Bill and I are both terrible time-keepers. We are late just about everywhere we go. It's a terrible habit, and I'm strangely not quite sure why it always happens. Probably because we always underestimate how long the 'getting ready' will take. So we were late for our own daughter's blessing and dedication service! When we walked in, about 5 minutes late, a spontaneous round of applause and cheers erupted. Apparently before we got there, Philip, our pastor, said "I've never conducted a dedication without the baby here before!" Anyway, apart from that, all went exceedingly well with Isabelle being charmingly cute and relaxed when Philip had hold of her. He also gave Tamsin a little present, which was a whistle in the shape of a train, which she was delighted to find sounds just like a train when you blow it. Not too loud, thankfully!
We then had Isabelle's godparents, David and Lana, and my Mum and my Dad back to our house for lunch. Which sounds like a delightful family occasion, until you realise that my parents divorced 28 years ago and their feelings towards each other have only deteriorated as the years have passed. My Dad, bless him, does his best to turn a deaf ear to my Mum's frankly bitchy and cutting comments that she just can't help spouting, and TBH last night I was contemplating telling her that if she made any such comments today, she would never be able to come to any family event that I was arranging in future. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) she was late arriving, having been stuck behind a slow lorry, so missed the actual service and I didn't have time to decide whether to have that conversation with her or not. I probably wouldn't have had the courage, in the end, but one of these days ........ She said a couple of somewhat rude things, but my Dad and I just rolled our eyes at each other and ignored it. I am so fed up with the strained atmosphere any time she is around, however, and I must find the right way to tackle it one of these days.
Apart from that, it has been a very happy and celebratory day. When we had Tamsin's dedication, I was so very emotional about it because Benjamin had never made it as far as his, although he was included and mentioned on that day, and I was just over the moon that Tamsin was still alive and well! Today that feeling has been present again and it is another reminder that every day of our children's lives is a gift that we cannot take for granted. Give all your little ones a special hug from me in memory of Benjamin, will you?
Other things on Saturday included cooking, visiting the library and the usual lots of Brio track and Nick Junior. Her funniest choice of book at the library was one about trains - but not a kid's book. She chose "West Country Branch Lines - a colour portfolio" - mind-numbingly boring to most people (descriptions of various engines, carriages and their precise numbers and timings of services) but that girl does love trains!!! Hmmm, perhaps I ought to Google a bit and help her learn more about them.
Preparations needed to be made for Isabelle's blessing and dedication on Sunday, so I made a couple of bits but needed to go shopping for more food. With various procrastinations and delays, in the end I asked Bill to put Tamsin to bed while I went to Tesco (hiss, boo) with Isabelle. "Hmmm," he said, "I was going to slip out while you were putting Tamsin to bed to get you a Mother's Day card. So you'll have to get your own!" And, strangely enough - I didn't mind. Perfect opportunity to get myself exactly what I wanted, I thought. So I bought myself a lavish bouquet of flowers and the tastiest box of chocolates I could find, along with a card, figuring this would set a minimum standard for future years! If there had been a DVD I wanted, I would have had one of those too!
Back home I came, at about 10pm, and started cooking. It's always the same with me - I never get organised in advance and end up with a mad panic at the end. I am a hopeless hostess!
Sunday
Bill and I are both terrible time-keepers. We are late just about everywhere we go. It's a terrible habit, and I'm strangely not quite sure why it always happens. Probably because we always underestimate how long the 'getting ready' will take. So we were late for our own daughter's blessing and dedication service! When we walked in, about 5 minutes late, a spontaneous round of applause and cheers erupted. Apparently before we got there, Philip, our pastor, said "I've never conducted a dedication without the baby here before!" Anyway, apart from that, all went exceedingly well with Isabelle being charmingly cute and relaxed when Philip had hold of her. He also gave Tamsin a little present, which was a whistle in the shape of a train, which she was delighted to find sounds just like a train when you blow it. Not too loud, thankfully!
We then had Isabelle's godparents, David and Lana, and my Mum and my Dad back to our house for lunch. Which sounds like a delightful family occasion, until you realise that my parents divorced 28 years ago and their feelings towards each other have only deteriorated as the years have passed. My Dad, bless him, does his best to turn a deaf ear to my Mum's frankly bitchy and cutting comments that she just can't help spouting, and TBH last night I was contemplating telling her that if she made any such comments today, she would never be able to come to any family event that I was arranging in future. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) she was late arriving, having been stuck behind a slow lorry, so missed the actual service and I didn't have time to decide whether to have that conversation with her or not. I probably wouldn't have had the courage, in the end, but one of these days ........ She said a couple of somewhat rude things, but my Dad and I just rolled our eyes at each other and ignored it. I am so fed up with the strained atmosphere any time she is around, however, and I must find the right way to tackle it one of these days.
Apart from that, it has been a very happy and celebratory day. When we had Tamsin's dedication, I was so very emotional about it because Benjamin had never made it as far as his, although he was included and mentioned on that day, and I was just over the moon that Tamsin was still alive and well! Today that feeling has been present again and it is another reminder that every day of our children's lives is a gift that we cannot take for granted. Give all your little ones a special hug from me in memory of Benjamin, will you?
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Not much to say ....
You know how 'we bloggers' go through our days thinking about which bits we are going to blog and what we might say about them? Well, it just hasn't been happening. My mind is a blank .... It looks like all tummy bugs are gone and we're all well again, thank goodness. Isabelle's dedication and blessing is on Sunday and I'm trying to decide what food to make for those who are coming back here for lunch. Tomorrow morning will be largely taken up with making it!
Today I received my first copy of my new subscription to Home Education Magazine from the USA so I'm about to take that to bed for a good read.
Today I received my first copy of my new subscription to Home Education Magazine from the USA so I'm about to take that to bed for a good read.
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