Crap day all round

I couldn't have had a worse night's sleep last night if I'd tried - woken up countless times by both Tamsin and Isabelle variously having nightmares, needing feeding, having diarrhoea, being unable to sleep, being too hot, being too cold ... you get the picture. So I started the day incredibly tired and very grumpy.

Then today Isabelle seems to have suddenly decided she can't possibly go to sleep unless she has my boob in her mouth ... after I'd been so encouraged that at last I had a baby who would actually fall asleep on her own, suddenly she won't. Now, I've always been an attachment parenting type of parent, but TBH that led to Tamsin waking 2-hourly every night until she was well over 2 years old, and I just can't bear to do that again. So I'm determined to nip this particular habit in the bud, but to start trying to do it on a day when I am very tired, Bill is away and it's gloomy and sleeting outside is probably not the best time.

I was really wanting not to have the TV on much today, and to have some more interesting and creative play going on, but I was so desperately tired I wanted to seize the chance to try and nap a couple of times today so just left Tamsin in front of the TV/video.

And then the other issue today has been trying to prevent Tamsin eating anything that might continue to aggravate/prolong her tummy upset - so saying a hundred 'no's to requests for chocolate, cheese, biscuits etc. I've made tempting bowls full of lovely fruits and snacky veg stuff, which she has requested, and then eaten one mouthful and left the rest.

AND when I actually tried to do something useful with her, by getting out the DK Learning Ladder CD-Rom and I Want to Read CD-Rom, neither of them would work on my computer. I think the CD drive might be knackered. So I switched on Bill's computer, and left her with more Learning Land CD-Roms which she just got on with on her own for a while. But what an incredibly sedentary day - either TV/video or computer. It's just not good at all.

I know today has been particularly bad, but TBH it only feels like a worse version of our normal days, with too much TV and not a lot else that is productive/creative/imaginative or physical. Today I am wondering if I am cut out for the home-ed life. I keep thinking it will be better when she can read and write because then I can think of all sorts of interesting things she can get on with, but at the moment anything I can think of seems to involve me doing something while she watches, and I can't be bothered.

The only way I've been able to improve my outlook at all is to know that Bill has been having a far worse day - at his Mum's funeral. He has phoned tonight to say it was hard but OK, although his Dad took it very hard, as you would expect after 60-something years of marriage.

Added later: Fed up with the lack of positive activity, I have now prepared the following:
Some snow/ice activities from www.perpetualpreschool.com
Some Dr Seuss (T's fave at the moment) activities also from perpetual preschool
Some germs/health activities from perpetual preschool bearing in mind the illness that's been going round here
Printed off the Cuisenaire booklet from MuddlePuddle to get ideas for the rods
Found some Teaching Ideas to go with a couple of books we have from Barefoot Books