I seem to have got out of the habit of blogging lately, mostly due to just not being 'in the mood' for it. Maybe because I feel we're not really doing much. My most productive and energetic times (mentally and physically) are 8am - 11am or noon, and we only actually have one morning a week (Saturday) when we're home at that time. Four mornings a week Tamsin goes to playschool (three of them because I'm at work, one to give me a break), one morning we go out to my women's/young mums support group and Sunday we go to church. So we only really have afternoons, by which stage I'm tired, grumpy and short of ideas or the willingness to put any into action. I have all these resources, books and ideas lying around, and they rarely get touched or looked at.
So, not a great deal to report, except the gathering of more resources. Last Thursday we went to the Library and changed all our books, and chose some interesting ones for Tamsin which, as well as the story books, included "The Age of Industry" (her choice!!), a good age-appropriate book about science which I hope to go through with her and do some of the activities, and a nice one about trees which is really aimed at older kids but has some activities in it that she could do.
On Saturday I went and helped out at the Stratford-on-Avon NCT second-hand sale, which is lots of hard work but means you get first choice of all the stuff on sale. So I grabbed 2 DK videos - Eyewitness Human Machine and Eyewitness Weather, a Hieroglyphics game for if and when we ever do that stage (I'm sure we will), a couple of Usborne books for Isabelle which will also be useful as demonstrators ;-), a cash-register and shopping basket for playing shops with Tamsin, a push-along walker toy for Isabelle, and some other toys and clothes for both of them. Total cost under £35.00. And then I got a parking ticket - £30. :-( Dashed home from the sale, had an hour for us to ooh and ah over all the stuff, and then took Tamsin to her dancing class. Had the teacher questioning me as to why I was staying. All the other parents having taken her strong hint not to stay, but me deciding that Tamsin would still be happier with me there, and also as we are being ecologically friendly by walking there (10-minute walk -v- 1 minute drive) there's no way I'm walking home again and then walking back to pick her up 45 minutes later. It didn't occur to me at the time, but I must ask her *why* she really doesn't want parents to stay. There's certainly nothing dodgy going on and she's a very nice woman and seems totally fine, but I don't see why leaving should be compulsory if you don't want to! I have no intention of leaving until as and when it suits both me and Tamsin. Dashed home from the dancing class, fed Isabelle and then straight out again to do our film showing for the 'Rural Cinema' that Kate and I run once a month.
On Sunday morning I found a red mite in the chicken house, so in the afternoon after church I went off to the Domestic Fowl Trust to stock up on foul chemicals to nuke them! Haven't yet done the application yet, though, which as it involves grabbing each chicken and dusting it all over with powder makes me a little nervous.
This morning I was in a foul mood (hmmm, same as last Monday!) after being woken a zillion times in the night mostly by Isabelle but also by Tamsin. It feels like things are getting worse because some of the time I used to be able to hum or sing Isabelle back to sleep, instead of feeding her, whereas she's now twigged about that and just starts *screaming* if I start humming. So, apart from swearing at her, my only tactic is to give in and feed. I don't know what to do about it. She is still so little, and has very little frame of reference yet, so not being fed when she feels she needs it probably feels like she'll never be fed again, and that's obviously majorly traumatic. If I go into the spare room for a week and leave Bill to sort her out, she might feel that Mummy's abandoned her and is never coming back. But I can't go on feeding her 6-10 times per night. Well, maybe I can, because that's what I did with Tamsin till she was 2.5, but at least in those days I could sleep in the day. So, anyway, I sobbed in the shower about that, and then again some more when I was getting dressed, and Tamsin was very solicitous as she always is when I cry, and went and fetched Daddy and then tissues. Isabelle fell asleep when I drove home from taking Tamsin to playschool, so thankfully I was able to catch a half-an-hour snooze. Thank God, literally, because it totally changed my mood and my outlook on the day.
Then had someone come over for a chat about cloth nappies. She's pregnant for the first time age 39 after infertility and IVF, so am quite anxious for her, but apart from measuring 4 weeks ahead (loads of fluid, or mammoth baby? scan next week will tell) things seem to be going fine so she's just done all her equipment shopping and was ready to get to grips with the nappy issue. I've recently treated myself to a couple more wraps and a fabulous set of multi-coloured and patterned fleece liners, so was able to show her some of that up-to-date stuff as well as the boring plain white I've had since Tamsin.
I've just remembered that one of the reasons I didn't feel like blogging last week was the news that my brother Martin, on his return home to the USA after his trip here 2 weeks ago, was made redundant. Rather a shock, as although the Science Centre he works in had had financial troubles, they'd had some help from the local government and all seemed to be much more secure. But apparently not. But he is an internationally-regarded planetarium astronomer, and offers of support and work/jobs have come in from all over the place almost immediately. He'll be fine, but it's still a bummer of a thing to happen. Esp. when he was just divorced a year ago and doesn't want to leave his kids.
Anyway, I have a ton of tidying up/Usborne parcel to distribute/money to sort out so this will have to be it for now!
Monday, October 17, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
A surprisingly good day - EDITED
Yesterday, I woke up like a bear with a sore head, and snarled and snapped at everybody all day long. This morning, I woke up feeling sunny and relaxed. Huh? I would say yesterday was PMS, except there still isn't any 'M' since Isabelle was born. Whatever, it's been nice to have a day when I don't feel like a murderous bitch.
So, the morning started with puzzles, music-making and Schools Radio (instead of the usual Nick Jr). The day definitely goes better when the TV doesn't go on. Then we went off to the women's group at church, where Tamsin and Isabelle stayed happily playing in creche while I was able to go and have a great time in the group. We're really going to build it into something good, I think, as we all get to know each other more deeply, trust each other more and share each others' joys and problems.
Then straight off to the supermarket to pick up some stuff, and home. After lunch, we made a yummy chocolate cake, made butter (at last - a few times I've bought pots of double cream to have a go at this and ended up chucking them away), some drawing (both of us, using our new Usborne 'You can Draw' book), did some Sonlight reading (Yay, only the 3rd time since 'starting' at the beginning of September!!!), some Brio train track and finally a sit-down to watch Bambi, which Tamsin's never seen before. She asked for it to be switched off after Bambi's mother was shot, although not appearing to be particularly upset about it. I'd rather like her to see the rest, though, to discover that all turns out well in the end (it does, doesn't it? I can't remember! I'm assuming it does seeing as it's Disney!).
Edited to add: Forgot to mention that Tamsin's last task of the day before bed was singing the ABC song and putting her magnetic letters on the board in alphabetical order!
Isabelle went up for her afternoon nap but ended up wailing madly instead of falling asleep, so an early night was in order, which worked well for me as I had to get ready to go out and do a talk for the local Rotary Club. Kate and I were doing it jointly, about our work at Fair Shares. I *really* didn't want to do it, although not particularly nervous but just anticipating a very boring evening, but actually it went surprisingly well! I was very impressed by Kate's public speaking, and she seemed to be impressed by mine, as we've never done that sort of thing together before. So we managed to fill a 45-minute slot successfully, with the promise as we left that 'we would probably hear more from them in future', which hopefully means they might raise us some MONEY!
So, the morning started with puzzles, music-making and Schools Radio (instead of the usual Nick Jr). The day definitely goes better when the TV doesn't go on. Then we went off to the women's group at church, where Tamsin and Isabelle stayed happily playing in creche while I was able to go and have a great time in the group. We're really going to build it into something good, I think, as we all get to know each other more deeply, trust each other more and share each others' joys and problems.
Then straight off to the supermarket to pick up some stuff, and home. After lunch, we made a yummy chocolate cake, made butter (at last - a few times I've bought pots of double cream to have a go at this and ended up chucking them away), some drawing (both of us, using our new Usborne 'You can Draw' book), did some Sonlight reading (Yay, only the 3rd time since 'starting' at the beginning of September!!!), some Brio train track and finally a sit-down to watch Bambi, which Tamsin's never seen before. She asked for it to be switched off after Bambi's mother was shot, although not appearing to be particularly upset about it. I'd rather like her to see the rest, though, to discover that all turns out well in the end (it does, doesn't it? I can't remember! I'm assuming it does seeing as it's Disney!).
Edited to add: Forgot to mention that Tamsin's last task of the day before bed was singing the ABC song and putting her magnetic letters on the board in alphabetical order!
Isabelle went up for her afternoon nap but ended up wailing madly instead of falling asleep, so an early night was in order, which worked well for me as I had to get ready to go out and do a talk for the local Rotary Club. Kate and I were doing it jointly, about our work at Fair Shares. I *really* didn't want to do it, although not particularly nervous but just anticipating a very boring evening, but actually it went surprisingly well! I was very impressed by Kate's public speaking, and she seemed to be impressed by mine, as we've never done that sort of thing together before. So we managed to fill a 45-minute slot successfully, with the promise as we left that 'we would probably hear more from them in future', which hopefully means they might raise us some MONEY!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Catching up
Tamsin had a big day out with Grandpa today to go and see Thomas the Tank Engine at a local steam railway. The plan was that Bill and I would get to grips with the house mess .... Hmmmm
To start with, I got stuck in to the corner around my desk with was piled up with all sorts of crap. Bill took Isabelle and the dog out for a walk and Isabelle fell asleep. When he got back, a failure in communication between us ended up in an argument and a major meltdown on my part. Sobbed and sobbed about how I feel I am running flat out everyday to barely keep up, the house is falling into disarray around me, I have no organisation, I regularly fail to make decent meals (and I am a nutritionist!!) am late everywhere and lose and forget things all the time. I'm either spinning around in circles trying (and failing) to get stuff done or I'm collapsing in an exhausted heap. I'm irritable with the children and generally feel I am failing at everything.
Bill once again proved to have marvellously absorbent shoulders and a plan .... We may get somewhere. Watch this space. I continued sorting out *one small corner* of crap under my desk. How come Merry does so much when there's only a baby in the house?
In 'other news', it was great having a visit from my brother Martin who lives in the USA. We realised it was 4 years since we'd last met, 6 years since he was last here visiting me (for Benjamin's funeral...) and it must be donkeys years since we had the chance to chat as much as we did this week. It was good to have him here, but sad to see him go again.
To start with, I got stuck in to the corner around my desk with was piled up with all sorts of crap. Bill took Isabelle and the dog out for a walk and Isabelle fell asleep. When he got back, a failure in communication between us ended up in an argument and a major meltdown on my part. Sobbed and sobbed about how I feel I am running flat out everyday to barely keep up, the house is falling into disarray around me, I have no organisation, I regularly fail to make decent meals (and I am a nutritionist!!) am late everywhere and lose and forget things all the time. I'm either spinning around in circles trying (and failing) to get stuff done or I'm collapsing in an exhausted heap. I'm irritable with the children and generally feel I am failing at everything.
Bill once again proved to have marvellously absorbent shoulders and a plan .... We may get somewhere. Watch this space. I continued sorting out *one small corner* of crap under my desk. How come Merry does so much when there's only a baby in the house?
In 'other news', it was great having a visit from my brother Martin who lives in the USA. We realised it was 4 years since we'd last met, 6 years since he was last here visiting me (for Benjamin's funeral...) and it must be donkeys years since we had the chance to chat as much as we did this week. It was good to have him here, but sad to see him go again.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Good day
Started well with a fairly free morning, which these days we don't have except at the weekends. Since I've been sending Tamsin to playschool on Monday mornings so I can have a 'free' morning (with Isabelle only) as well as Wed to Fri mornings so I can work, and we go out to a group on Tuesday mornings, we are very short of days to just get up and chill out, or achieve something at my best time of the day i.e. 8-11am. Anyway, after clearing up a bit and, of course, building track (but managing to keep the TV off) we walked into town for me to drop a few bits and pieces into the charity shop. Bargain of the week, month or year was then discovered with the purchase of a pair of Gucci 'jeans' (soft, stretchy) for £9.99!!!! Not that the label should necessarily be that impressive but they are very well fitting and well made. I buy the majority of my clothes from the charity shop these days, but they're better clothes than I ever had before! I also got Tamsin a lovely wooden jigsaw puzzle and a pop-up toy for Isabelle.
Then after lunch it was off to Gloucester to visit Clare and girls of Playing it by Ear fame. Despite arriving with Isabelle covered in sick due to the yogurt she had just before leaving home not agreeing with her (and me not bringing a change of clothes for her, oops!), Clare was very welcoming and it was really delightful to meet her and her 2 girls. I think we have plenty in common and a reciprocal visit should be made in due course. Isabelle seemed to be particularly impressed with Rosie, laughing and smiling at her quite a bit, and towards the end, after both of them taking quite a while to warm up, Tamsin and Rosie played together hidden behind the sofa. In fact, Tamsin announced on her way home that she really liked that little hidey-hole and wants one of her own in our living room!
Dinner seemed just too big a hurdle to face on getting home, so we had fish and chips.
Tomorrow I have a work meeting in the morning while Tamsin goes to playschool, then home to make some sense of the mess in order to welcome my eldest brother Martin who is staying for a couple of nights during a shortish visit from the USA. Looking forward to that!
Then after lunch it was off to Gloucester to visit Clare and girls of Playing it by Ear fame. Despite arriving with Isabelle covered in sick due to the yogurt she had just before leaving home not agreeing with her (and me not bringing a change of clothes for her, oops!), Clare was very welcoming and it was really delightful to meet her and her 2 girls. I think we have plenty in common and a reciprocal visit should be made in due course. Isabelle seemed to be particularly impressed with Rosie, laughing and smiling at her quite a bit, and towards the end, after both of them taking quite a while to warm up, Tamsin and Rosie played together hidden behind the sofa. In fact, Tamsin announced on her way home that she really liked that little hidey-hole and wants one of her own in our living room!
Dinner seemed just too big a hurdle to face on getting home, so we had fish and chips.
Tomorrow I have a work meeting in the morning while Tamsin goes to playschool, then home to make some sense of the mess in order to welcome my eldest brother Martin who is staying for a couple of nights during a shortish visit from the USA. Looking forward to that!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
What's been going on
Miscellaneous activities, in no particular order:
- Went to see "The Gruffalo" at the theatre in Cheltenham yesterday. Tamsin loved it. She wants to go to the theatre again!
- Done another Usborne book party this afternoon - very low-key and small orders but I'm still practising, so it all helps.
*Pauses, trying madly to think if anything else positive, educational or useful has been done recently - and concludes that no, it hasn't"
Have spent much time agonising over the overwhelming number of things to do and lack of time or energy to do them. Am very peed off with the state of the house, and various other things.
Ah well, think positively. My brother is visiting from the USA this week - staying here Tuesday till Thursday. We haven't seen him for, umm, can't remember how long but a few years I think, so I'm looking forward to that. And tomorrow I am going to blog-bump with the Playing it by Ear crew for the first time!
- Went to see "The Gruffalo" at the theatre in Cheltenham yesterday. Tamsin loved it. She wants to go to the theatre again!
- Done another Usborne book party this afternoon - very low-key and small orders but I'm still practising, so it all helps.
*Pauses, trying madly to think if anything else positive, educational or useful has been done recently - and concludes that no, it hasn't"
Have spent much time agonising over the overwhelming number of things to do and lack of time or energy to do them. Am very peed off with the state of the house, and various other things.
Ah well, think positively. My brother is visiting from the USA this week - staying here Tuesday till Thursday. We haven't seen him for, umm, can't remember how long but a few years I think, so I'm looking forward to that. And tomorrow I am going to blog-bump with the Playing it by Ear crew for the first time!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
More about yesterday than today
Swimming was great yesterday. We were late (as always) and only had 20 minutes in the pool, but while Isabelle played with the acoustics (she was definitely fascinated by the different sound of her voice in that place) Tamsin played about with some floats and was eventually persuaded to lean forward onto one, lift her feet off the floor and kick a bit! On the way home I called in on a friend who has 2 boys aged 3 and 5 and Tamsin had a good time playing with them, while Louise and I chatted non-stop about all sorts of things, ranging from creation/evolution to HE/school. She offered us tea/supper there which I gladly accepted and we left for home at about 7pm. My hopes that the girls would fall asleep on the half-hour journey home and then be quickly and easily transferred to bed came to naught when Tamsin resolutely stayed wide-awake and Isabelle fell asleep but woke up when I was getting her car-seat out of the car. Damn.
Today has been relaxed playing, quick trip to Tesco, out for a communal/shared lunch at someone's house in celebration of a friend's new baby, home, swing, Learning Land CD-Rom, dinner, bath and bed by 7pm. Must find the Melrose booking form! NB: I've already sung Isabelle back to sleep twice this evening - which she accepted very quickly - but please, please, please let her quickly stop waking so often! I'm having lots of sad feelings about the leaving behind of babyhood stage as she approaches her 1st birthday and is almost standing/walking, and I just keep cuddling her (probably too much!) and cherishing her baby-ness, but the disturbed sleep is something I will be *so* glad to leave behind, whenever it eventually happens!
Today has been relaxed playing, quick trip to Tesco, out for a communal/shared lunch at someone's house in celebration of a friend's new baby, home, swing, Learning Land CD-Rom, dinner, bath and bed by 7pm. Must find the Melrose booking form! NB: I've already sung Isabelle back to sleep twice this evening - which she accepted very quickly - but please, please, please let her quickly stop waking so often! I'm having lots of sad feelings about the leaving behind of babyhood stage as she approaches her 1st birthday and is almost standing/walking, and I just keep cuddling her (probably too much!) and cherishing her baby-ness, but the disturbed sleep is something I will be *so* glad to leave behind, whenever it eventually happens!
Monday, September 26, 2005
Making a little progress
Every time Isabelle woke last night, I attempted to sing her back to sleep instead of feeding. Several times she accepted it! I think I fed her 2 or 3 times, when the noise was escalating instead of calming down, but probably 4 or 5 times she heard me sing or hum and just rolled over and went back to sleep. I'm hoping she will quickly learn she'd rather sleep through than hear me sing!
This morning Tamsin's been at playschool and I have totally failed to make positive use of the time available. Took Isabelle and the dog for a walk to try and get her to sleep but she didn't drop off till I got to the office, where I had some stuff to give to Kate. Then got tied up in helping a guy from South Carolina try and connect to our internet service..... failed .... and then had to go and get Tamsin back from playschool. Bright spot of the morning - my first Usborne order arrived. Haven't had time to have a good look through yet though. Going swimming this afternoon.
This morning Tamsin's been at playschool and I have totally failed to make positive use of the time available. Took Isabelle and the dog for a walk to try and get her to sleep but she didn't drop off till I got to the office, where I had some stuff to give to Kate. Then got tied up in helping a guy from South Carolina try and connect to our internet service..... failed .... and then had to go and get Tamsin back from playschool. Bright spot of the morning - my first Usborne order arrived. Haven't had time to have a good look through yet though. Going swimming this afternoon.
Sleeeeeeeep
Is what I did all afternoon today - well, I've had precious little of it for several nights so I asked Bill (or was it 'insisted') to give me the afternoon off and I just slept - okay so it was still disturbed every hour or so due to Isabelle waking 3 times from her nap and then Tamsin coming in, but it still helped.
Tamsin loved her dancing again yesterday. It made me feel rather inadequate about HE, actually, seeing her have such fun with other kids and responding well to a teacher, but still I can see there is a big difference between doing that for an hour or so at a time and full-time 9am - 3pm every weekday. I so wish it was easier and more 'normal' to arrange flexi-schooling. Even if we did manage to arrange it, there is a danger the child would be seen as odd and not really being accepted due to not being there for the same hours the other kids were.
Tamsin loved her dancing again yesterday. It made me feel rather inadequate about HE, actually, seeing her have such fun with other kids and responding well to a teacher, but still I can see there is a big difference between doing that for an hour or so at a time and full-time 9am - 3pm every weekday. I so wish it was easier and more 'normal' to arrange flexi-schooling. Even if we did manage to arrange it, there is a danger the child would be seen as odd and not really being accepted due to not being there for the same hours the other kids were.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
At last, some education! EDITED
Isabelle has definitely said 'mum' a couple of times today (yah boo to Bill!! who had Tamsin say 'dada' long before she ever said 'mama', so it's only fair....!). I'd like to kid myself that she was addressing me, but I don't think she was, instead just practising the sound.
Anyway, having awoken from a strange dream (in which I and the family were visiting the Beans and I cooked a very strange large hot curry for lunch which I certainly wouldn't have wanted to eat, and then we were all poring over the Chinese takeaway menu choosing what to have for dinner, but Isabelle woke me before I chose) I whizzed off to Tamsin's playgroup slightly early with a box full of Usborne books to try and flog some. Didn't manage to get there early enough to catch many of the mums, but handed out several leaflets nevertheless and also some to mums coming for the Baby & Toddler Group. In the end I decided to say I needed orders to be in by Friday, so here's hoping. I need to make a few phone calls and try and drum up a few parties here and there too.
I was on the parents' duty rota today, and it was absolutely manic. On Wednesdays and Fridays they take 2-year olds (2 years and 9 months upwards for the rest of the week) so there were 14 kids this morning, plus my own 2 being fairly demanding for my attention. I was completely knackered by 11am. Plugged on till 1pm, came home, and absolutely insisted to Tamsin that I would sit down uninterrupted for 10 minutes, and not get up for anything.
Having recovered slightly, this afternoon we have looked at "Things People Do", one of the Sonlight books. First time we've done any Sonlight for over a week (or anything overtly educational at all, as a matter of fact!). I think I'll have to accept that I'm definitely not going to follow the schedule, but instead just have the books there to look at as and when. Then we've made bread by hand, instead of in the machine. Next we took the dog for a little walk, during which we saw a car going through the carwash at the local garage, and watched the postman emptying the postbox. Then I've actually made a proper healthy dinner (roast chicken, roast new potatoes and broccoli followed by melon) and Isabelle, having missed her afternoon nap, has gone straight to bed.
I'm supposed to be going out these evening, for the first of a series of group meetings on "Freedom in Christ", but I'm so knackered I don't know if I can drag myself out. In fact, I realise that it's time I was going out of the door, but Bill still isn't home, so obviously I can't go atm anyway.....
Edited to add: I knew there was something else we did. We actually got round to attaching most of the postcards from the postcard exchange to the map of the UK. Too many of you live in the South - there isn't enough room.
And, I did go out to FIC - it was very good and well worth it.
Anyway, having awoken from a strange dream (in which I and the family were visiting the Beans and I cooked a very strange large hot curry for lunch which I certainly wouldn't have wanted to eat, and then we were all poring over the Chinese takeaway menu choosing what to have for dinner, but Isabelle woke me before I chose) I whizzed off to Tamsin's playgroup slightly early with a box full of Usborne books to try and flog some. Didn't manage to get there early enough to catch many of the mums, but handed out several leaflets nevertheless and also some to mums coming for the Baby & Toddler Group. In the end I decided to say I needed orders to be in by Friday, so here's hoping. I need to make a few phone calls and try and drum up a few parties here and there too.
I was on the parents' duty rota today, and it was absolutely manic. On Wednesdays and Fridays they take 2-year olds (2 years and 9 months upwards for the rest of the week) so there were 14 kids this morning, plus my own 2 being fairly demanding for my attention. I was completely knackered by 11am. Plugged on till 1pm, came home, and absolutely insisted to Tamsin that I would sit down uninterrupted for 10 minutes, and not get up for anything.
Having recovered slightly, this afternoon we have looked at "Things People Do", one of the Sonlight books. First time we've done any Sonlight for over a week (or anything overtly educational at all, as a matter of fact!). I think I'll have to accept that I'm definitely not going to follow the schedule, but instead just have the books there to look at as and when. Then we've made bread by hand, instead of in the machine. Next we took the dog for a little walk, during which we saw a car going through the carwash at the local garage, and watched the postman emptying the postbox. Then I've actually made a proper healthy dinner (roast chicken, roast new potatoes and broccoli followed by melon) and Isabelle, having missed her afternoon nap, has gone straight to bed.
I'm supposed to be going out these evening, for the first of a series of group meetings on "Freedom in Christ", but I'm so knackered I don't know if I can drag myself out. In fact, I realise that it's time I was going out of the door, but Bill still isn't home, so obviously I can't go atm anyway.....
Edited to add: I knew there was something else we did. We actually got round to attaching most of the postcards from the postcard exchange to the map of the UK. Too many of you live in the South - there isn't enough room.
And, I did go out to FIC - it was very good and well worth it.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
She has consonants!!!
Isabelle woke this morning, rolled over, and said "g g g". And then "muh muh". Wow, at last she has consonants! Slowly but surely ....
Still no crawling, but she pulls herself up at every opportunity and is getting much steadier while standing.
Still no crawling, but she pulls herself up at every opportunity and is getting much steadier while standing.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Shall we dance?
Well, Tamsin will anyway. We had her first session at the "Fun Dance Club" this afternoon, and she loved it! Mostly 'kiddy' stuff, pretending to be bears or kangaroos or whatever, but some 'country dancing' complete with do-si-do, and a bit funky stuff too. Actually it's lucky that she got there, because true to form I lost the letter and booking form, and once the closing date past I regretfully decided we'd just have to wait till next term to try again, but the organiser phoned me yesterday to see if we did want a place because she was holding one for us!
The title is also appropriate because tonight has been 'Rural Cinema' night, when Kate and I show a film at the local school. Today's offering has been 'Spanglish', which was OK-ish but not worth going out for, and only 12 people turned up, but next month we are showing "Shall we Dance" with Richard Gere, so that'll be worth it!
Have recovered a little from Wednesday's stress, making a special effort to remain calm and low-key and not snap irritably at Tamsin so much. Thanks for all the encouraging comments everyone. There is still an overwhelming amount to do and too little time, but c'est la vie ....
The title is also appropriate because tonight has been 'Rural Cinema' night, when Kate and I show a film at the local school. Today's offering has been 'Spanglish', which was OK-ish but not worth going out for, and only 12 people turned up, but next month we are showing "Shall we Dance" with Richard Gere, so that'll be worth it!
Have recovered a little from Wednesday's stress, making a special effort to remain calm and low-key and not snap irritably at Tamsin so much. Thanks for all the encouraging comments everyone. There is still an overwhelming amount to do and too little time, but c'est la vie ....
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Losing it...
I just feel like I have not got a grip on anything. I am juggling too many balls in the air and they're starting to come crashing down. The house is a tip; we're not doing proper HE because first of all I need to read the instructions on how to do the Miquon, Handwriting without Tears, Reading Reflex and I haven't got time or the mental energy; whenever Tamsin asks to do something I say "not right now, I've just got to ....." (insert next most urgent task that's been waiting for days and really *has* to be done now); Isabelle is waking several times a night and I cannot get my head round how to night-wean her without it being a terrible ordeal (she still won't take any kind of cup or bottle); I cannot seem to stick to any of the boundaries I set for myself or Tamsin like less TV or less computer because I give in as soon as I have a weak moment (very often); Tamsin has taken to shouting or snapping back at me and it's only because I do it to her so often; ..... I could go on about all the other things that are pressing in on me .... but I'm too tired. AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Monday, September 12, 2005
A perfect heart
.... is what Isabelle has got, thank God! Not that we had much doubt about it, but it was good to check. Finally today, after appointments, cancelled appointments, changed appointments, missed appointments which we didn't know about and rescheduled appointments, we got an ECG and echo on Isabelle's heart, just to make sure. We did the same with Tamsin too, when she was a baby. It's good to know there are no little surprises lurking there for the future.
Sonlight is going well. Tamsin pounced on Berenstain Bears book of Science and Nature, and we're well into the seasons at the moment. She's had a go at making animals with her pattern blocks, and proved today that she definitely can decode some three-letter cvc words. With no pictures or other clues, this afternoon she read 'cat', 'leg', 'mat' and 'bed' and, with a little help, 'milk' and 'book'. She was delighted with herself, but still says she doesn't want to learn to read ..... okaaaay!
Sonlight is going well. Tamsin pounced on Berenstain Bears book of Science and Nature, and we're well into the seasons at the moment. She's had a go at making animals with her pattern blocks, and proved today that she definitely can decode some three-letter cvc words. With no pictures or other clues, this afternoon she read 'cat', 'leg', 'mat' and 'bed' and, with a little help, 'milk' and 'book'. She was delighted with herself, but still says she doesn't want to learn to read ..... okaaaay!
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Hooray!
Sonlight package arrived today!!! Very exciting - lovely books. I think we'll have fun with this.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Happy Anniversary
to me and Bill. 15 years ago we got married on an absolutely wonderful day in Stratford-on-Avon, followed by the most beautiful outdoor reception at the Mill at Harvington. Those with more time (I'm just about to put the kids to bed) and lyrical ability with words would insert a romantic description of the day, the dress and all those little stories that go to make up a happy wedding day, including the 'rollers stuck in the hair' bedtime fun that we had ..... but you'll either have to beg me to tell you all about it when I've got more time, or use your imaginations ....
Anyway, I may be a bit scarce this evening. Got celebratin' to do, y'know!!!
On other news, the second day of attempting to get Isabelle used to a little formula milk to aid in the night-weaning process has not gone well. Yesterday she just refused to taste it, today she tasted it and gagged. Hmm, will keep trying, but am not confident!
Anyway, I may be a bit scarce this evening. Got celebratin' to do, y'know!!!
On other news, the second day of attempting to get Isabelle used to a little formula milk to aid in the night-weaning process has not gone well. Yesterday she just refused to taste it, today she tasted it and gagged. Hmm, will keep trying, but am not confident!
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Yesterday
was not good. Well, the morning was OK as I had to go into work for an hour to meet some people, took the kids in with me and all was fine. It was market day as well, so on the way back we mooched, had ice-cream and paid in some cheques that had been waiting for ages to go in. (Most of it my birthday money - I love having a bit of money to spend and musing over what to buy for *myself*!)
Got home and had lunch, and then, as per usual, I was sooooo tired that I just couldn't motivate myself to anything. Didn't want to move, didn't want to interact with Tamsin's incessant chatter. So I resorted to Nick Jr for Tamsin and bed for me and Isabelle, in the hope that Isabelle would nap. She didn't. I dragged myself up again and failed to do anything productive or interesting with the girls. Decided a trip to Tesco would be the highlight of our day, so did a big shop and had to threaten never to bring Tamsin shopping again if she continued to behave the way she was. Isabelle fell apart with tiredness while I was cooking dinner (late, at around 6.30pm) so I put her to bed, Tamsin and I ate, Bill came in just as we were finishing off and I then went into 'brain switched off' mode and stared at the computer for an hour or two. Never got round to making the decision to take Tamsin to bed until I couldn't stay awake any longer myself, so around 9pm we went upstairs, never to be seen again.
Last night's waking tally is difficult to recall in the fuzziness of sleep. I remember trying hard to compute how many times it was and to force my tired brain into remembering the number, but obviously it didn't work. I know that after being put to bed at 6.30pm, she woke up at 8pm, 10pm and 11pm and then there were at least two or three more wakings during my sleep time. Plus two wakings by Tamsin. Humph, this is getting old very quickly.
Got home and had lunch, and then, as per usual, I was sooooo tired that I just couldn't motivate myself to anything. Didn't want to move, didn't want to interact with Tamsin's incessant chatter. So I resorted to Nick Jr for Tamsin and bed for me and Isabelle, in the hope that Isabelle would nap. She didn't. I dragged myself up again and failed to do anything productive or interesting with the girls. Decided a trip to Tesco would be the highlight of our day, so did a big shop and had to threaten never to bring Tamsin shopping again if she continued to behave the way she was. Isabelle fell apart with tiredness while I was cooking dinner (late, at around 6.30pm) so I put her to bed, Tamsin and I ate, Bill came in just as we were finishing off and I then went into 'brain switched off' mode and stared at the computer for an hour or two. Never got round to making the decision to take Tamsin to bed until I couldn't stay awake any longer myself, so around 9pm we went upstairs, never to be seen again.
Last night's waking tally is difficult to recall in the fuzziness of sleep. I remember trying hard to compute how many times it was and to force my tired brain into remembering the number, but obviously it didn't work. I know that after being put to bed at 6.30pm, she woke up at 8pm, 10pm and 11pm and then there were at least two or three more wakings during my sleep time. Plus two wakings by Tamsin. Humph, this is getting old very quickly.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Last night's waking tally:-
5 times by Isabelle
Twice by Tamsin
(Yawn) No wonder I'm fit for nothing this afternoon.
Twice by Tamsin
(Yawn) No wonder I'm fit for nothing this afternoon.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Stressful day
Had an argument with Bill as he left for work this morning (since resolved, I think); my Mum came for a couple of hours to drop off the dog (who she'd had for a few days while we were away) and took *huge* offence because Tamsin frowned at her (shock, horror!) and even worse, later on, said "Don't be silly!" to her. I thought my mother was about to spontaneously combust or something ..... She is just so quick to take offence and get angry but can't stand it if anyone dares to get cross with her... anyway, I'm not going to waste any more bandwidth on her.
Then I had to do a desperately urgent search for some papers needed for Playschool - thankfully found them! Then off to a Playschool committee meeting of which I am Chair, so I got landed with the job of phoning a parent to chase up some outstanding money. Was worried she might let rip at me, and as she wasn't answering her phone this afternoon it was hanging over me for ages. Fortunately when I did speak to her she was just apologetic.
So, today's had more than its fair share of minor stresses. But it's also had some positive touches. Managed to keep the TV off for most of the day, and had some good one-on-one time with Tamsin, doing jigsaw puzzles, train track, counting money, drawing (some lovely pics of the family, including dog!) and so on. Was very aware that I had been intending to start more serious HE stuff today, but I still haven't got half the Sonlight stuff and haven't prepared the other things, so decided to wait another week.
Now have just got to go and catch up on the 5 months of finances I haven't done .....
Then I had to do a desperately urgent search for some papers needed for Playschool - thankfully found them! Then off to a Playschool committee meeting of which I am Chair, so I got landed with the job of phoning a parent to chase up some outstanding money. Was worried she might let rip at me, and as she wasn't answering her phone this afternoon it was hanging over me for ages. Fortunately when I did speak to her she was just apologetic.
So, today's had more than its fair share of minor stresses. But it's also had some positive touches. Managed to keep the TV off for most of the day, and had some good one-on-one time with Tamsin, doing jigsaw puzzles, train track, counting money, drawing (some lovely pics of the family, including dog!) and so on. Was very aware that I had been intending to start more serious HE stuff today, but I still haven't got half the Sonlight stuff and haven't prepared the other things, so decided to wait another week.
Now have just got to go and catch up on the 5 months of finances I haven't done .....
Sunday, September 04, 2005
In my defence:
... we were away at Greenbelt for the Bank Holiday weekend (Friday till Tuesday), emptied the caravan on Wednesday, went north to Teesside on Thursday to visit Bill's Dad and got home late on Friday, had a full day out with friends to Moreton-in-Marsh Show on Saturday and been out at church all morning - so not much time to get things straight!
I feel it's time I blogged about Isabelle, now she is 10 months old. She's still not mobile - her attempts to crawl pretty much stopped when she learned to sit - but she does love standing up (supported). She pretty much forces us to help her stand whenever she can. She's not quite safe enough to leave hanging onto something, but she's nearly there. Last Saturday at Greenbelt she spontaneously started walking while being held up, so that was fun! She absolutely loves pressing buttons, being in the bath, and blowing little bubbles. She loves a little game we have where she will vocalise something and I will copy, then she changes the pitch or the sound a little and waits for me to follow suit, over and over again! She is quite keen on food, although doesn't take much at each sitting. I usually give her a portion of whatever we are eating, as long as it is suitable, otherwise just the veg, and she pretty much feeds herself as it is all finger food.
Temperamentally she is very laid back, easy going and happy. Her beaming smile is bestowed upon many people, although lately she has taken more to seriously studying faces before eventually relaxing into the big grin. She takes life at an easy pace, not rushing to reach her milestones (!) ... who knows, maybe she is as tired as I am seeing as she wakes several times a night - I am determined tonight to try and count exactly how many. I remarked to a friend this morning that I thought she was waking me about 6 times per night - "well, that's better than the 14 times Tamsin used to wake you," she said, "I used to wonder if there was any point in you actually going to bed!" I'd forgotten about that. I am thankful for small mercies! But still want to get Isabelle used to a bottle so that I can water it down at night to night-wean her.
Oh, and my plan was to start HE properly tomorrow, seeing as Tamsin would have been starting Reception. But having had such a manic week I don't feel ready in any way. I plan to use Sonlight Pre-K (and some of it hasn't arrived yet), Miquon maths, Handwriting without Tears, and Reading Reflex as the main backbone of our stuff with bits and pieces added day to day as interests arise. But I haven't got my head round it all yet, so maybe it'll have to be next week.
I feel it's time I blogged about Isabelle, now she is 10 months old. She's still not mobile - her attempts to crawl pretty much stopped when she learned to sit - but she does love standing up (supported). She pretty much forces us to help her stand whenever she can. She's not quite safe enough to leave hanging onto something, but she's nearly there. Last Saturday at Greenbelt she spontaneously started walking while being held up, so that was fun! She absolutely loves pressing buttons, being in the bath, and blowing little bubbles. She loves a little game we have where she will vocalise something and I will copy, then she changes the pitch or the sound a little and waits for me to follow suit, over and over again! She is quite keen on food, although doesn't take much at each sitting. I usually give her a portion of whatever we are eating, as long as it is suitable, otherwise just the veg, and she pretty much feeds herself as it is all finger food.
Temperamentally she is very laid back, easy going and happy. Her beaming smile is bestowed upon many people, although lately she has taken more to seriously studying faces before eventually relaxing into the big grin. She takes life at an easy pace, not rushing to reach her milestones (!) ... who knows, maybe she is as tired as I am seeing as she wakes several times a night - I am determined tonight to try and count exactly how many. I remarked to a friend this morning that I thought she was waking me about 6 times per night - "well, that's better than the 14 times Tamsin used to wake you," she said, "I used to wonder if there was any point in you actually going to bed!" I'd forgotten about that. I am thankful for small mercies! But still want to get Isabelle used to a bottle so that I can water it down at night to night-wean her.
Oh, and my plan was to start HE properly tomorrow, seeing as Tamsin would have been starting Reception. But having had such a manic week I don't feel ready in any way. I plan to use Sonlight Pre-K (and some of it hasn't arrived yet), Miquon maths, Handwriting without Tears, and Reading Reflex as the main backbone of our stuff with bits and pieces added day to day as interests arise. But I haven't got my head round it all yet, so maybe it'll have to be next week.
In solidarity with Jax
Perhaps there could be a blog award for 'messiest living room' or something ... Here's my entry:
And that's 'after' I have done some tidying up - I did the table and was working on the pile by the chair when I started to feel quite ill and had to stop. (Recuperating at the computer!). The rest of the house is just as bad.
And that's 'after' I have done some tidying up - I did the table and was working on the pile by the chair when I started to feel quite ill and had to stop. (Recuperating at the computer!). The rest of the house is just as bad.
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