Shannon was happy to help by washing the 'ancient objects' that we found:
And, yesterday, that was that.
This morning we had planned to go to HE group, where science experiments were planned. But despite looking through a few books last night, I couldn't find anything I was interested enough in to take with us to demonstrate, and I wanted to finish off our 'dig' project as I feel I can't go on with SOTW until we've finished this bit (I know me .... if I move on, I will never go back and finish off what I've left undone). And Jade was begging to go swimming and as HE group lasts most of the day (10.30 - 3pm) there wouldn't have been time to go. So we decided to abandon the group, finish off stuff at home this morning and go swimming this afternoon.
So, once we were up and dressed (mostly - Shannon wanted to remain naked for a good portion of the morning) I set Jade to taking photos of all the objects she had dug up, which included a few bits and pieces of broken stuff that I hadn't put there! I then started to show her how to get the pictures from the camera onto the computer, but hit a strange technical hitch which slowed everything up a great deal and she got bored and wandered off to play. I eventually sorted that out, uploaded the pics, chose a few and printed them off. I then retrieved her from her playing, sat her down at the table and persuaded her to make the pics into a booklet with a front and back cover, which she illustrated with a lovely drawing of a skeleton and a garden fork, and then wrote 'ARCHAEOLOGY' for the title. What has surprised me is how satisfied I feel at having got her to produce a 'proper' written piece of work (rolling eyes emoticon!!). Help, somebody stop me, I'm coming over all teacher-y!
We've also put stickers on the world map that those lovely people at the Guardian newspaper have given away free (courtesy of my Dad). We have placed stickers showing the 7 wonders of the ancient world (noting how they are all in the same area) and the 7 wonders of the natural world. She's had lunch while listening to a couple of the Rainbow Fairies stories which we've borrowed from the library on CD (well, it saves me having to read them to her) and then she sat on the sofa reading several books to Shannon (toddler books) while I listed a couple of items on Ebay.
After that we went swimming. By accident I slightly under-inflated Jade's arm-bands and tried to persuade her to keep them like that. Despite the fact that she could swim in them, she insisted I blew them up more. Meanwhile Shannon only wanted to hop onto my back and be towed around hanging onto my shoulder straps!
Tonight I am particularly concerned about Jade's apparently growing distress at ever being separated from me. She was saying this evening how she hates Wednesdays when DH is at home and I go to work, and she asked if it could be the other way round tomorrow. She hates me leaving her in bed to fall asleep, and always begs and pleads with me to stay. She has also been more reluctant to go to school recently, despite apparently having a lovely time when she is there. She's been clinging to me and not wanting me to leave. She really does settle down and play happily with the other children, and appears to do just fine while she's there. She won't talk to the adults, though. And that is another aspect of what is bothering me. Selective mutism, which she does have although on the milder end of the spectrum as she will at least talk to other children, is an anxiety-related condition, and obviously so is separation anxiety. She's such a fabulous girl in so many ways, and yet she is so anxious in these various situations. Everything I've done with her since she was a baby was supposed to develop self-confidence in a child - co-sleeping, carrying, long-term breastfeeding. And I wonder whether in fact it's done the exact opposite. Or maybe she's just genetically like that and would have been no matter what we'd done with her. She does after all remind me of me :-) I get so cross with myself for being anxious in other people's presence, fearing I'm not interesting or fun enough for anybody to want to be with me, and no matter what pep-talks I give myself I don't seem to be able to rid myself of this particular trait. But knowing what agonies that having an anxious personality has put me through, I'm longing to find a way to help her become confident within herself and deal with her worries.
To completely change tack, and just so that this is recorded for our own purposes and not to brag at all (I don't even know what's supposed to be 'normal' at this age), Shannon is completely confident at counting from 1-12, recognises the shapes square, circle, triangle, rectangle, heart and star, and is 'getting there' with colours.
3 comments:
Oooh the archaeology looks like great fun. I'm afraid if I tried to set up something like that for Joe he would just say 'but Mum it's not real, you must have hidden this stuff out here!'
Don't know what to say about the latter half of your post - it is sometimes just really hard to work these things out, isn't it. But you are so understanding of her, and very thoughtful about parenting, and I'm sure those things along with loving support etc. are the most important. And like you say, perhaps the anxious stuff is just part of her unique personality.
Think we would have the "but it's not real archeology" bit here (unless there were other girls to pretend with!) so I'm dead jealous that Jade played along!
As for the confidence thing, I know it must be hard for you to see, especially when you have done everything you possibly could do to make her feel totally secure. I guess all you can do is just keep doing it - you only have to look at Shannon to see that she's thrived on the same care - maybe jade is just going to take a little longer to "blossom" or maybe she will always just be happier with smaller groups? I do wonder if all this "life and soul" business that all children are supposed to be full of is just some sort of propaganda tosh to be honest.
archaeology does look great.
shannon a genius - BB counts 1,2,6 says 'colour' when I ask what colour and has no shapes at all!!!
You put yourself down joanna. I enjoy meeting you at camp and always look forward to seeing you.
For Jade, I thikn she is a girl very centred in her need for you, and that is just her. I think the attatchment parenting you have given her has been what she so obviously needs. I don't have any advice. I think children are what their personality makes them, and we can just help/encourage them to be comfortable with themselves.
I agree with anaon that not everybody wants to be life and soul of party, and most people prefer smaller group situations - or manage within them better. And I think it is fine to allow your children to mix in the groups they find easy. If they want to be life and soul, then enabling them to manage in that group is necessary, but also giving the option of not being in the group and reading or playing with someone else is equally valid [something I try and do with SB]
Certainly at the groups we see each other, Jade socialises with the girls she wants to very well. ANd runs with the pack when she wants to. OK, she's not a great talker with other adults, but that is just her at the moment.
Although I wasn't going to give advice!!if I did, it would be to carry on doing as you are really. I think its a shame she isn't as comfortable with her Dad without you, and maybe I would work on that gently and not be bothered about anyone else.
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