Mama told me there'd be days like these...

It's not going too well here today. The original plan was to meet my Mum at a big garden centre place near Abingdon. But Bill has gone on a course today and went off this morning saying that he couldn't find the car key for the estate car (he was taking the Prius) but I must have them because I was the last one to use it on Saturday night, and he didn't seem to have it anywhere. I accepted this, assuming I'd be able to find it later on. However when I looked, I couldn't find it, and then I realised that Bill had moved the car to a different place on the driveway on Sunday morning so he was the last one to use the key.

So, I phoned his mobile - no answer so I left a message. Then I phoned my Mum to say we might not be able to make it but I'd keep looking for the key. Phoned Bill's boss to try and find out where he is to get in touch with him, but she wasn't there so left a message on her machine. Then I remembered that all the equipment for the Rural Cinema scheme was locked in the car and it was being collected today at 2pm by the next village! Phoned my colleague in the office to get the Rural Cinema man's phone number. Considered what it would be like to tell them that they would have to cancel their showing for this evening! Phoned a friend to see if she knew of anyone who knew how to break into a car! She was a good deal more sensible, and recommended I phone the AA. Seemed like a good plan so I did that next. They were remarkably quick and came within half an hour. Found Bill's mobile phone in the back of the car!!! Phoned my Mum to say we still weren't going to make it as I still didn't have the key to drive. Phoned the Rural Cinema man to tell him to collect from my house and not the office. Of course, all this time the girls were little angels ....not!! It seemed like every 5 minutes they were fighting and arguing over something new. Wished I had a cellar like the Beans to lock someone into! Or at least threaten....

At last we took the dog out for a walk, then got back and seemed to faff around not settling down to anything. Seemed to fulfil one request for food or drink after another. Did a bit of the laundry shuffle. I sat down to read "Who were the first people" (still interested due to reading Clan of the Cave Bear series) and Jade lay on the back of the sofa looking over my shoulder, until Shannon started pushing and shoving and they started fighting again (sigh...). Gave up and made lunch.

I really don't know what we've been doing since then, but got fed up with Jade saying she was bored around 3pm and got out a few bits and pieces - "Super Science" workbook, drawing skeletons book, "Beyond the Code" book 1, and she said she wasn't interested in any of them so I made her sit down and do Super Science, which she usually enjoys. She huffed and puffed, said it was too hard, she didn't want to do it, so I threatened school ..... I used to read other people's blogs and think they were rather mean to issue school threats just because things weren't going perfectly. What can I say; I am swallowing my pride. She did do one page with bad grace, objected to having to think what the answer to "What part of the body do we use for looking at things" might be .... so I suggested we move on to Beyond the code. She loves literacy type stuff. But by this time we were both grumpy and fed up with each other. I asked her to read out the beginning passage, and she refused to read out loud. She wanted me to read it. Or to read it to herself, not out loud. This is too close for comfort to SM behaviour, so I probably over-reacted and insisted she had to read it out to me. Actually part of the SM is this absolute fear of getting things wrong, and not wanting to try anything she thinks she might get wrong. I need to come to terms with this and find some good strategies for addressing it instead of just getting all stroppy with her about it, which is completely counterproductive. At this point the doorbell rang, probably very fortunately, and it was L from next door, so they are now running about and playing and making Shannon scream again when they run away and exclude her.

I am very out of sorts at the moment. I have the wrong attitude to all sorts of things, and can't seem to sort my head out. And I hate making a battleground of education but find myself doing so anyway. I feel like I don't want to be doing any of what I am doing, like being with the kids, being at work, anything. And yet I know that's not really the main problem, just the symptom. Need a week in a health farm, I think.