Lows and highs

On Wednesday, Bill goes in to school with Jade while I (usually) work - although this week I had taken the day off and was taking Shannon to the audiologist at Cheltenham Hospital.

After having a horrible day in the TA's office on Monday, and what I felt to be a better day on Tuesday when the TA was teaching a class and not available, so we were in Jade's own classroom and she seemed to enjoy a fair amount of it, I asked her on Wednesday morning whether she would rather go into her classroom, or the TA's office, and I was surprised when she chose the office! I heard later that she had started playing games with the TA fairly quickly, sent Bill away to the staffroom after a fairly short time and then had a lovely time with the TA, playing snakes & ladders, frustration and Guess Who. She had done masses of talking, proper conversation, giggling, even to the extent of being a bit over-the-top! Bill had been sent home around 10.30am (I only get to go home at lunchtime these days), gone back in the afternoon and even then been sent to the staffroom. She had had a really good day.

On Thursday morning when I took her in, we again went to the TA's office. We started reasonably well, with Jade and the TA finishing off a game of snakes & ladders they had left from the day before. Jade was not talking, but was smiling, relaxed and happy. At one point I nipped out to the toilet for about 5 mins and then went back in. After a bit longer, the TA suggested to Jade that I go to the staffroom, and Jade shook her head. We tried a bit of cajoling, reminding her that she'd been totally fine the day before, and that I'd just been out for 5 minutes and she's been fine too, but she wasn't having any of it. She started to look more and more upset, and when we suggested merely that I sit on a chair just outside the office door, with the door left open, she got under the table that was inbetween us and clung to my leg sobbing, not letting me move at all. She just fell apart at the idea that I might move away at all, crying and crying. I sat down and she sat on my knee and buried her face in my neck and stayed there for ages, just crying and crying. It took ages for her to calm down, all the time with me encouraging her to fight the 'worry brain', not listen to the lies it was telling her about the terrible things that might happen, reminding her that she was learning to be stronger and to talk back to it and not believe it; telling her that the worry brain was spoiling her day and if she would just fight back against it, the day would improve, and so on. I don't really know if any of that helped. When she had finally stopped crying, she wasn't ready to interact with the TA again so I suggested that Jade and I have a game of snakes & ladders, which she agreed to do. She seemed OK almost straightaway, as though she had got all the emotion out of her system and was ready to go again. She and I played a game, then the TA joined in the next game with all 3 of us, then the TA and Jade played together while I sat back and gradually mentally withdrew so I was not listening/responding to them or their conversation. Then the TA suggested the two of them play a game of Guess Who, and immediately it was set up, Jade started talking/asking the questions quite confidently. She was as vocal with the TA as I have ever seen her, being quite assertive and even cheeky in the game play! With some trepidation (though that wasn't obvious to Jade), the TA suggested that I go out and fetch coffee for her and tea for me, and Jade nodded quite happily that this was OK. I made sure to take it quite slowly, and Jade was still quite fine and chatting away when I got back. Then it was breaktime, and Jade was quite happy to find her friend and go out to play while I stayed in to talk to the TA. There have been times recently when she hasn't been happy to go out to play without me, so that was good.

The TA and I chatted things over. It is strange how she can let Bill go much more easily than me, and that even the following day she can't hold on to the fact that she was fine yesterday, and let me go just the same. We talked over what we might do after the Easter holidays, whether to change classes seeing as she is very reluctant to go into her own for some reason, and what might be the best plan for increasing the number of people she talks to, specifically the teacher whose class she is likely to go into in September.

After break, Jade's class were making Easter baskets, and she agreed to go into the classroom for that. While coming back into school with her class, her class teacher asked her a question, and she answered, albeit with a single word and closely into the teacher's ear so no-one else could hear!!!! She's done reading to the class teacher before, but never answered a question. Wow! It was like she got all that emotion out of her system during the morning sobbing, and then once free of it she could do all sorts of things! In class the TA sat with Jade and I sat at the back of the room, though quickly got involved with helping loads of the kids. Jade was quite happy for me to be nowhere near her, and enjoyed the activity. After that it was lunchtime and I went home for some food. Jade agreed that I needn't go back into school but just to go straight to the church where there was the end of term Easter service at 1.30pm. Jade was sitting next to a girl called D in the church, and later, when we were at home, she told me she had managed to speak to D, for the first time!

I do hope that somebody at CAMHS next week can give us some insight into all this. I certainly find it confusing!!!