Here comes the sun.....

I'm LOVIN' the sunshine! It's been a lovely Easter weekend from the spiritual and weather points of view! We didn't get as much done as I'd hoped (I'd had vague hopes of getting some decorating done) but just mostly hung around at home. I did get some potatoes planted but need to put a lot more in.

Anyway, thank you Alison for prompting me to blog! I just seem to be completely stuck over the school issue. If I felt I was doing HE well, and could see a way to getting a couple of half-days per week on my own at home, then I think I would just take her out of school. The trouble is, I don't feel I am doing the first and can't see a way to the second on top of the hours I already spend out at work. One thing I forgot to blog is that my job-share partner (of 5 years!) is moving on to a new job, so my energy and input there are having to go up massively as I basically take it all on myself for a few weeks (not extra time, just doing it all alone) and then still take the lion's share as a new person gradually becomes trained and integrated into how things happen at work. And the idea of someone else taking responsibility for the education side of things for a while is attractive! But I still feel it will be very hard on her to go 5 mornings, or full-time. It does seem tough that I as a confirmed introvert, who needs to recharge my energy by being alone, should have a daughter who is particularly needy of my presence and attention. If I had even a penny for every time Jade said "Look, Mummy" in a day, I'd be a very rich person in no time at all. She is constantly asking me to "look" at her, while she pulls a funny face, or jumps up and down, or draws a picture, or plays with her toys - she wants me to watch what she is doing nearly all the time and it drives me mental! I honestly barely ever get the chance to complete a single thought in my head. And while staying with my friend last weekend, I asked if her daughter was the same, and she said no. So it's not just an 'age' thing. Sometimes I can't stop looking at her because I love her so much and she is very precious to me, of course, but I really can't bear being called out of the kitchen every 10 seconds while I'm trying to prepare a meal, or some such. But then I think of what might happen, with all her anxieties and stress over social situations, if I were to just send her to school full-time and I simply don't think I can do it.

So, what I need is:

• Shannon to sleep through the night and stop waking me 5-6 times, leaving me exhausted in the daytime
• Enough money (for a childminder) or some other solution to enable me to have two half-days per week on my own in the house to feel like I'm keeping on top of all my own stuff and to just have some me-time.

Apart from all that stuff, we've just been operating on 'holiday' status - the girl next door is round here most of the time so much raucous playing goes on with lots of time spent out in the garden. Shannon tends to get a bit left out sometimes, but I guess that's inevitable. We did a bit of Story of the World yesterday so we are now just launching on 'Ancient Egypt' stuff so I think there will be a lot of that in the next couple of weeks or so.

Tomorrow is my Dad's last regular day for coming over every week to look after the girls. He is approaching 75 and has been coming here weekly for over 8 years to help me in one way or another, starting when I was pregnant with Benjamin. He has been absolutely fabulous in every way possible and deserves some rest! From next week I shall change my work hours so that I work while Jade is at school from 12-3, instead of during the morning. Tomorrow, I will be taking my Dad out to lunch as a small thank-you for all he has done and all the love and support he gives me.