Thomas, a tooth, and Turnoff TV week

Saturday saw Tamsin, Isabelle and me having a Day Out With Thomas while DH stayed at home fitting the new wooden floor in our kitchen, yay! Tamsin was thrilled, as last year, to see Thomas, Henry, Diesel, Toby and so on in 'real life'!! So we had a good but exhausting day out, and came home to find good progress being made with the new floor.

Today has been full of surprises. The first was at church this morning when Isabelle chomped on my finger, as she likes to do, but this time there was a little sharp tooth poking through at the bottom!! Tamsin didn't get her first tooth till 8 months, so this is 'early' for us.

I had already decided that I would start giving Isabelle some real food this week, as I am due to go back to work next week, and although I can have her with me in the office a fair bit and make sure she is well fed before someone takes her away for an hour or two, knowing that she can have some other food if we get the timing all wrong eases my mind a little. And we're only a week earlier than the 'officially allowed' weaning age anyway. My decision was confirmed with the arrival of the tooth, and the fact that she grabbed a piece of Bill's pizza at lunchtime and sucked and chomped on it with great delight. I had hoped to wait till she was grabbing food off us before starting weaning, so I'm glad that happened first! So we then introduced her to a little pureed mango and banana (courtesy of Baby Organix) and she was a bit bemused but interested! I have a little frisson of 'earth-mother' guilt that her first food was not 'home-made and pureed', but I think I can get over it ;-)

My other decision for the week is that the TV will be off all day until 5pm this week, it being TV Turnoff Week. I can't quite bring myself to lose it completely all week, and chose 5pm because then Tamsin can just watch an hour of Dora, her current absolute favourite, while I produce some dinner, and I can watch something in the evening if I want without breaking my own rule! I have yet to decide whether the PC will join the daytime ban - I certainly think it might help our days run smoother if it did, but do I have the willpower?? It would be an interesting experiment for a week.

I also want to just muse a little on something that's bothering me. I have been thinking this week that I can barely remember Isabelle as a newborn. I know that when she was born, I kept on feeling that I wasn't getting enough time just to be with her. I resented the time that Tamsin and other household demands took me away from her, and TBH that feeling that I haven't quite had enough time with her has persisted. I carry her as much as possible, and use a sling when my shoulders/back can cope, but still can't get over this feeling. I think it must be all the other demands, particularly of Tamsin, but I am feeling sad because I feel I am missing out, in some way, of really 'knowing' her and being 'with' her, and this is my last chance as I do feel in many ways that I don't want any more children.