4 go wild in Wales!

We've just had one of the loveliest holidays we've had in a very long time! We were in New Quay, Wales, for a week in a static caravan on the Haven holiday park.

Now, a holiday park wouldn't really be my first choice for accommodation, but they accept Tesco vouchers and we are penniless so beggars can't be too choosy. However, we got a really fab static caravan (prestige standard) which was extremely smart and, for anyone who's been in our real (towed) little ancient caravan, you will appreciate this was a very big step up!!! For instance, here is the view from the deck:



It was a 3-bed caravan, so the girls even got a bedroom each which they don't have at home. I think they appreciated that! In fact, it was all so clean and smart and tidy that we have a bad dose of the post-holiday blues and want to rip everything out of our house including the plaster and start all over again. No can do due to the aforementioned pecuniary status, but maybe we can take tiny steps in the right direction....

Anyway, back to New Quay. We arrived on Saturday around 6pm, so that evening was just eating, unpacking and going to bed. On Sunday morning, the first job was to sit on the deck having breakfast and look for dolphins in the bay:



We didn't spot any then. After breakfast, we walked down to the beach from the site. This was a very steep downhill walk through a lovely woodland area which is specially protected for wildlife. We had a lovely time doing the usual beachy stuff, and, as was to become the pattern for the week, Shannon stripped off and ran about in that lovely innocent three-year old way:



We also investigated the rest of the site, and had a go in the Funworks amusement arcade where Jade was thrilled to find a cowboy-type horse ride and a little pony carousel, so a couple of goes each on that were essential for them and of course set the scene for continued nagging for the rest of the week to go on them every day.

The evening was very special. I was just finishing putting Jade to bed (DH had already got Shannon off to sleep) when he called to me from the deck - DOLPHINS! We sat there for ages watching them with binoculars - there seemed to be about 4 or 5 which we could see when they surfaced for air, although no spectacular jumping or anything. I've loved dolphins for years and years, though, and this was the first time I'd actually seen a live one, even from a distance. Very thrilling!

On Monday we investigated New Quay town itself, did some bits of shopping, walked along the quay, spent a while on the other beaches, and went into the dolphin exhibition place where someone was filming an interview in Welsh for TV. Jade was interested in all the dolphin information and happily pressed buttons and lifted flaps about them and other sealife and environmental threats etc. We went back up to the site in the afternoon and went swimming in the pool. The kids braved the little water slide, and soon loved it so much that's all they did for the next half-an-hour.

On Tuesday we went to the Centre for Alternative Technology for the day. Well, not exactly for the day as we are not the fastest risers in the morning and it was a 1.5 hour journey to get there so we needed lunch as soon as we arrived, and it was about 1.30pm before we properly started looking around. I will gloss over the marital tensions that surfaced due to delays and misunderstandings and move swiftly on to the afternoon which got better after that! The site is very different from the last time we were there, which was probably about 15 years ago, although we have been members and have been receiving the quarterly magazine ever since. (We thought we were members anyway - turns out we had been paying £15 annually on a standing order and they never let us know we needed to change the amount, or change to direct debit, so we had to swiftly upgrade to the proper price for family membership when we got there.....). The girls just wanted to run about and play on the adventure playground bit, so it was hard work to drag them away to the exhibits and information which we wanted to see. We did get a nice pic on the self-timer for our profile though (see right)! I don't think Jade absorbed much as we were going round, despite our best efforts, but she did have a go on a computer program to assess your household's carbon footprint and saw some of the video displays so maybe some of it went in. There were masses more exhibits and things to do than we realised, though, and we mis-timed the afternoon so we only got (sob) 10 minutes in the shop at the end, and that was having missed out virtually all of the power/electricity/solar displays and exhibits. Memo for anyone going in the near future - allow more than 4 hours!!! The girls loved the mole-hole bit where you get to see what it's like to live underground, and in fact Jade said she loves the CAT and wants to live there till she's 120!

We did get a few ideas for stuff to do at home, and in fact have ordered a Rotaire washing line cover which is one of those brilliant ideas that you wonder why nobody invented before so that you can hang you washing out even when it's raining, and it still gets dry.

I've got my days all confused after that, so I'm not sure what we did on Wednesday. I think it was Thursday when, despite a forecast of rain, it was seeming to hold out fine all morning so we went for a coastal walk. This was really the highlight of the week. I used to get taken for long hikes on the Yorkshire Moors, round Snowdonia and the Lake District on holidays with my parents when I was a child, and I don't think I'd realised how it was kind of imprinted in me, but I knew I felt a desire for a lovely walk, and when we got up on the coastal path I really enjoyed it and think it's something I need to be doing a lot more of. But the best bit about it was, at the top of an extremely steep walk up to the top of a cliff above New Quay, Bill spotted dolphins with the binoculars. We stayed there for absolutely ages in the lovely hot sunshine, watching them both with the binocs and with the naked eye, and even caught a fantastic leap out of the water by one of them. Jade had a look and was excited to see them too. We must have sat there for well over an hour, maybe two. I lost track of the time. We tried to take pics but there is quite a shutter delay with the digital camera which was the only one we'd taken. If you can see a black dot in this pic, though - that's the dolphin!



The rain held off all day until about 6pm, when we were safely back in the caravan, so that was good!

The next day the forecast had suggested it would be raining from when we woke up in the morning. It wasn't, though, but kept expecting it to start so we faffed around all morning. In the end, because the rain hadn't come we went off to Cardigan Island Coastal Farm Park which has lots of animals to stroke and feed, and then a lovely walk down to the cliff tops where often you can see seals. The problem was once we got out and Jade had spent time with the ponies which were in one of the first fields, she refused to go any further and was in tears because she didn't want to leave them. So I went off with Shannon, explored a bit, saw the tide was in so we couldn't see any seals, and went back up for us all to have lunch. We went back down to the cliff edge again later when the tide was out and Jade agreed to come with us that time. We saw a couple of seals swimming in the sea, at least you can see just their heads sticking up, but didn't see any basking on the rocks which was a shame. It was a pretty stiff hike up and down and all around the site, though, and much of it I had to do with Shannon on my back, so I was pretty wrecked by the end of it. On the final walk back up the rain came down pretty hard and we all got rather wet.

On Friday I was in a horrible mood all day (DH says it's PMT - I say I was just very tired) and we didn't do much except relax in and around the caravan and have a final trip down into New Quay to see one of the dolphin exhibitions which is only open Fridays to Mondays. When we got there they pointed out there were a couple of dolphins in the bay, so we got to watch them again and chat to the volunteers running the place. Then we went and sat on the beach for an hour or so for one last time.

On the Saturday morning we achieved a minor miracle by leaving on the dot of the prescribed time of 10am, which I don't think we have ever done before. We stopped off at Raglan Castle on the way home which we all enjoyed, although I would recommend to everyone that you do NOT go to the nearby 'cafe' in a farmyard which was merely a greasy-spoon caff which could be an awful lot nicer.

I would love to go back to New Quay again and who knows, maybe even retire there to watch the dolphins like some other people we chatted to, so I'm sure it won't be our last visit.

Duvet day

It's been a manic sort of week, and therefore being blessed with an empty day, it's after 11am and I'm still in bed. Bliss! I fell asleep putting the girls to bed at about 8.30pm last night, woke up at midnight and got into my own bed, Shannon joined us in the big bed at some point, and then nobody (except Bill who had to go to work) woke up properly till about 9am! (Apart from Shannon's frequent wakings/wailings/general annoyingness!)

On Tuesday morning Shannon went to playschool, so Jade and I got home, did some bible, LLOTG and miquon maths. She seems to be getting over her mental block about maths, hooray! Just being able to take it very slowly, backing off when it was too much for her, and using lots and lots of different approaches to practise simple addition and subtraction, and now, just in the past week or two, she's got it! Instead of groaning when I say we're going to do some maths, she's actually asking for sums to practise, spontaneously making up her own sheets of sums to do, and enjoying mastering them! She said she'd seen a book in the local bookshop window saying I -hate- love maths and she wants me to get it for her! (oh, well that was supposed to be a strike-through 'hate' and I obviously don't know how to do it!)

So, after that bit of success, we went out to deliver Christian Aid envelopes, which was a lovely 45 minutes in the sunshine, although we didn't finish as we had to get back and have lunch before collecting Shannon. We then went straight from playschool and drove to Newbury to meet my mum to collect the dog. We had a conversation about her refusal to stay in my messy house, and although I still think it was an over-reaction, she's entitled to her own feelings and we've cleared the air a little. Stopped off in Oxford on the way back to see Bill at work and visit the university library (full of teacher-training resources!) and came home with a very big bag full of books and software - hooray!! Would list them except they are downstairs and I am upstairs in bed on the laptop! Jade found a book explaining about death and was absolutely glued to it. We got home at about 8pm after buying sandwiches and eating them in the car on the way home for 'dinner'.

On Wednesday I was working all day. I wanted to finish delivering the Christian Aid envelopes in the early evening, but time ran out and I didn't get the chance.

On Thursday it was playschool for Shannon and work for Jade and me. Was very busy at work, trying frantically to get all the loose ends tied up before leaving as I'm on holiday next week. Didn't finish as early as I wanted to. Managed to get in some shopping from Budgens before going to pick up Shannon (the cupboards were bare!) but didn't get to finish delivering the CA envelopes! Got home with the girls about 2.30pm, taught Jade to play checkers with the large floor-sized game we'd just received as a gift from someone, played 3 or 4 games of that, and then (finally!) got the rest of the CA envelopes delivered! Went home, cooked sausages for tea, then went out again for 45 minutes starting the CA collecting.

Today I have to try and progress the washing/drying of laundry, and then sort out as much of the packing for holiday as possible. This evening I will try and finish the CA envelope collecting.

So, if I don't get back on here later, I'll catch up after our week in Wales! Really looking forward to it (if the sunshine comes back). We're planning on visiting the Centre for Alternative Technology for one day, and hoping to spot dolphins off Cardigan Bay.

sunny Monday

Ah bliss - I'm enjoying the sunshine! In fact, I got up at 6.30am and enjoyed it even then! The church weekend has finally got me to do what God's been nagging at me for months to do - get up early and have a bit of quiet time. It was very good :-) Having to do the AA thing and just take it one day at a time and not make great promises to do it forever!

Despite the early start, I seemed to get stuck in a wormhole or something, where it was suddenly 9.30am and still none of us were dressed and nothing was done! Eventually chivvied one girl to get dressed and the other just remained in her birthday suit all morning until we had to go out! I sat down with Jade and did a couple of pages of Miquon, then a bit of bible reading and Leading Little Ones to God. That was the extent of the formal work for the day! I had to make inroads into the washing mountain ready for going on holiday on Saturday. I had about 3 long phone calls - a couple of them I made as mystery shopping phone calls for which I will get paid. Frequent requests for food and assistance in reaching things or getting things set up for the girls didn't help either. We had some lunch and then suddenly another hour had passed and it was time to go swimming. Had a relaxed, fun play in the pool, and then returned to hand Shannon over to a friend who had offered to have her while Jade went to her first Rainbows group. Couldn't find friend in the park where we had arranged to meet her. No answer at her house either. Tried the other small local park but no luck. Ended up taking Shannon to Rainbows with us! She joined in more than Jade did! Jade didn't want to participate much in anything, and of course I had to stay and she clung to my hand or sat on my knee most of the time, and looked like she wasn't really enjoying it. When we got home I asked her what she thought of it, and she said she loved it!!! So that's good, but I have no idea how we will ever get her integrated enough for me to be able to leave her. And some special allowances are going to have to be made for her as she won't be able to say her name at the beginning (everybody holds the Rainbows teddy in turn and says who they are) and she's been given her Promise to learn but there's no way she's ever going to say that in public!! I had printed out a couple of information sheets on selective mutism to give to the group leader so at least she'll be slightly informed when we have to discuss it. But we're on holiday next week and then it's half-term week, so it'll be 3 weeks before she goes again.

And now I must go to bed if I'm going to be up early again tomorrow morning!

&*(()&^^*(* to my Mum!

We've all just come back from being away on our annual Church weekend - had a good time and those of you who've seen Jade at HE camps will be astonished to learn that I barely saw her all day on Saturday! I made arrangements last Thursday to re-introduce her to a girl, C, with whom she usually pairs up at the church weekend but they hadn't seen each other since last year. They got to know each other again at that visit, so on Saturday when C was just there for the day they instantly bonded and ran off together for most of the day - it was fab! In fact so much so that Jade cried all through the evening meal and didn't eat anything because C had gone to sit with her family at the other side of the dining hall!!!

Anyway, the weekend was slightly marred by my Mum, who had come over to us on Friday to stay at our house and look after our dog for the weekend. And after she'd been at our house for an hour and I was dashing round trying to get stuff ready, told me that she didn't want to stay at our house because it was too dirty and untidy. Well stuff her. It may not be great but I can hardly believe it's that bad. So she pushed off home, and good riddance to her.

HE, at last!

I actually feel like I've got something worth blogging today, so here I am at last. Nothing particularly exciting, but got going by about 9.30 this morning with some maths for Jade! This is big news. She's found maths so much harder to grasp than the reading/literacy side of things, and despite being almost 7 she's still at a Year 1 level in maths, and (I noticed today) still using her fingers to add 2 and 2! But nevertheless she is getting more comfortable with it all and is actually quite enjoying being given a page full of simple adding sums. Yesterday I introduced her to 'tens' and 'units' for the first time, and today I showed her how to add double-digit figures by putting them in columns and adding the units column first and then the tens. She got that fairly well! So for the first time I feel we are making real maths progress. I must make a big effort to make sure we do a little bit every day, rather than leaving it for days or weeks at a time (avoiding the angst!).

Then, it being such a lovely sunny day, we took a pile of books out onto the trampoline to read out there. I read them some Bible, Leading Little Ones to God, Wild Places (Jungles) and In Grandmother's Attic, interspersed by some jumping and fun!

When we came back inside again, I introduced Shannon to the letter A - following the Letter of the Week plan in a vague kind of way. I wrote both capital and lower case letters on the blackboard, she traced over them with her finger, she had a go at writing them herself and really did a pretty good job! We talked about some of the words that start with the letter 'a'. She can already recognise most of the Letterland characters but not when they are pure letters without the characterisation. She can recognise 's' on its own, and one or two others, but Jade knew her alphabet thoroughly at age 2, so it will be interesting to see if Shannon does not have quite the same aptitude for literacy that Jade does have. Not that it matters - it's just really interesting to see two people developing in their own individual ways, and I love to wonder if any of these early differences really do end up predicting later aptitudes and strengths.

I then went through some spellings that I found on another page of the Brightly Beaming website. Jade was enjoying being asked if she could spell the words and she wrote them on the blackboard, so we just carried on until she started to get fed up and in fact she could do most of them - just needed help with 'woman' and 'two' and I'm pretty sure she'll remember those now. I'll do more of those as and when she's interested and happy to do them.

Had lunch, and then I did my usual afternoon slump when I was devoid of any energy or motivation to do anything educational. I think that's the part of the day when I really need to be left alone to recharge my energy a bit. Chased the girls out into the garden again and I did some tidying up and sorting through of stuff. Sharpened some coloured pencils, chucked out some bits of tat, put odd bits of toys and puzzles back where they were supposed to be. Did get Jade to do another 5-minute burst of simple maths sums. I also found myself sitting next to Jade's recorder and book of simple tunes, so I taught myself to play "London's Burning" and then taught Jade. She's pleased to have a new tune to add to her repertoire which until then consisted solely of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" - and so am I!! Then we took a short walk round to the library, spent a happy hour there and all came home with a lovely pile of books.

L from next door came round then, and the girls all played relatively happily out in the garden while I caught up on e-mails and did some dinner. While snuggling with me on the sofa, Shannon was reading out the numbers she could see on the calendar - she can recognise all the single-digit figures now. They watched a small amount of TV, then we switched it off and I read to them both - just Horrid Henry and Holly the Christmas Fairy so not exactly highbrow but they both enjoyed it.

She's so excited!

We finally got round to going to Gloucester to hire a cello from the Gloucestershire Music Service:



She's really enjoying it, but absolutely refuses to take any guidance as to what to do - "I want to just do it my way!" she says. We looked at a couple of online videos but she missed the one I saw about how to position the bow and absolutely wouldn't listen to me when I suggested the right way to do it. Ah well, I guess there are self-taught musicians around!! It's probably going to be a good idea to expose her to videos and recordings of good cellists so that she can be inspired and maybe she'll see for herself the technique they are using. The other thing I'm going to do is try and set a good example of myself learning to play my bass guitar which DH bought me for my birthday last August and I have picked up and played precisely twice! This morning I've received my Tesco DVD hire delivery which is bass guitar lessons so if I am diligent, maybe she will follow suit.

Oh, and Sarah, she really wanted me to phone you to get Anna to come round and watch her!!!

Anyway, I really wasn't planning to do this:



I've always promised myself I will not let my children learn the violin - I didn't want to endure all the screeching and scratching. But faced with Shannon's longing face when she saw the little violins at the hire place, I just couldn't help but relent!!

Weird

There's a boy in our HE group called Ben. I think I've mentioned this before - I found out a few months ago that his birthday is the day before or after (can't quite remember which) my Benjamin's birthday - same year. And they dropped in today to give Jade an invitation to his birthday party on Saturday. So now on my calendar I have a note which says "2.30 - Ben's party". Just as it might well have been in other circumstances. Bizarre, but OK. It's not upsetting me or anything. Just feels slightly strange.

In print

The Time Bank that I run was featured in the Times last week - check it out! They got some of it wrong, of course - the trip to Hidcote Manor Gardens was last month, not last year. And the National Trust was our very first organisational member six years ago, so it's not that recent of a development. But never mind. Oh, and I am the "co-broker" mentioned after Lyn's comment.

Should I be happy?

I really can't decide whether to be pleased or not! I had a Recorded Delivery Letter today saying I had won a holiday worth £3750! Couldn't help but be a bit excited. Got home and found it is this holiday company. We are entitled to one week's accommodation for 4 people at any of the resorts for life (but not travel). BUT we have to pay the management fee which the first year is discounted to about £275 and normally is £367.

So, in a nutshell, we have to pay (this year) £275 for a week's self-catering accommodation - any time of the year. We have to travel there at our own expense. Seeing as we always holiday in our caravan because we can't even afford a cottage holiday, I really can't tell if this is much of a bargain or not!

Highlights

Jade lost 2 teeth on Saturday. About time too - one of them had been extremely wobbly for months!

Had a lovely HE moment last night, while putting her to bed, when Jade asked about oxygen, and air, and radio waves - she said she was confused about it all. I explained, adequately I think!

Had a horrible HE moment this morning when I made Jade cry while trying to teach her to tell the time. Every time she comes across numbers she says she finds it too hard.

Monday was completely frittered away. Had intended to start Shannon on 'Letter of the Week' or somesuch light introduction to the alphabet, but somehow it never happened, and I felt like the day was just completely wasted on pacifying the needs of 2 demanding girls. Didn't do anything constructive with Jade either.

Started to gather together the papers for taxing the Prius yesterday ..... and found the MOT expired last September!!! Why oh why isn't there some proper reminder system for it? They're quick enough to remind us to tax our cars - why can't there be MOT reminders too! It also needs brake pads and discs replacing, and 4 new tyres. Ouch! Don't know how we're paying for all that yet! Still, on the bright side, when I do get round to taxing it, it will only cost £15 for the year!

Edited to add: Waah! Just lost most of my template when I deleted that annoying chicken-out counter thing, and have lost my Benjamin ticker.... and don't know where I got it from!
Later - Phew, managed to make another one. Now all I need is the blogring code...

Time flies when you're having fun....

So, I haven't blogged, I haven't done much laundry for too long, the house is even messier than usual .... what's going on?

Well, I have simply been unable to put down Valley of Horses, the second in the Jean Auel (pronounced 'Owl', apparently) Earth's Children series, until I finished it late last night. I don't generally read much fiction these days, but as there are 5 books in this series (and book 6 should be on the way) I shall be kept busy for a while yet. Anyway I have a bit of respite until Book 3 arrives from Amazon, so thought I'd better try and catch up a bit.

Took Jade to Snowshill Manor yesterday (while Shannon was at playschool) and joined the National Trust while I was there. I'd never been inside the house before, which is amazingly stuffed with all sorts of exotic furniture and curios. Jade did rather race me through many of the rooms because she was desperate to see the cellos in the Music Room, but the rest of the collections were well worth looking at and will bear repeated visits I hope. I joined because I particularly like the idea of just popping up there or to Hidcote Manor Gardens, which is also local, on a lovely sunny day and hanging out in a beautiful place.

Must dash now, as it's HE group this afternoon at the local library and I need to gather stuff together to take, not to mention the library books that are due back.

Dein Ergebnis:: 9 - the Peacemaker

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE (aka "The Mediator")

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union
with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially
  don't like expectations or pressure.



• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.



• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.



• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge
  me gently and nonjudgmentally.



• Ask me questions to help me get clear.



• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.



• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.



• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.



• Let me know you like what I've done or said.



• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

• being nonjudgmental and accepting



• caring for and being concerned about others



• being able to relax and have a good time



• knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around



• my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good
  mediator and facilitator



• my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and
  now



• being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

• being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive



• being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline



• being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally



• being confused about what I really want



• caring too much about what others will think of me



• not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

• feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
  



• tune out a lot, especially when others argue



• are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
  

NINEs as Parents

• are supportive, kind, and warm



• are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?

so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?

so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...



...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BX

Would you rather have chosen:

AX (SEVEN)

CX (TWO)

BY (FOUR)

BZ (FIVE)

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Kostenloses Online Dating, home of the The Dating Typ Test View My Profile(felk)

Better

Jade pointed out as we ate dinner this evening that I hadn't got cross with her all day! Yes, that is a very notable event. Probably just because we've been too busy.

Shannon's playschool has a parent rota for helping out once per term, and it was my turn today. Jade came too. She found it a bit boring actually, and apart from the times when she wasn't hanging on to me spent most of her time in the home corner. They both enjoyed the Easter Egg Hunt, though, but then Jade got very upset when she made a slightly wobbly tooth get extremely loose while eating celery at lunchtime. So now that's two teeth hanging on by their fingernails (so to speak...) ..... the first of which has been like that for months. I do wish they'd both just come out, but she really gets quite scared and upset about it.

Then we came home for a bit of Tom & Jerry/Simpsons for the girls and a quick nap for me and then out to swimming. Having had a break of a few weeks due to bad colds/parental unwillingness to go, Jade astonished me by getting into the pool and launching straight into swimming a few metres, and then did it again and again. She normally just plays and saves practising 'proper' swimming till the end. She seems to be stuck at doing about 8 strokes in a row and then having to put her feet down, which seems odd. If you can do 8 strokes, couldn't you just keep going? Anyway, she'll get the hang of it in her own time, I'm sure. She's resistant to any but the gentlest of hints about improving technique, so it'll be her own way or not at all.

Mama told me there'd be days like these...

It's not going too well here today. The original plan was to meet my Mum at a big garden centre place near Abingdon. But Bill has gone on a course today and went off this morning saying that he couldn't find the car key for the estate car (he was taking the Prius) but I must have them because I was the last one to use it on Saturday night, and he didn't seem to have it anywhere. I accepted this, assuming I'd be able to find it later on. However when I looked, I couldn't find it, and then I realised that Bill had moved the car to a different place on the driveway on Sunday morning so he was the last one to use the key.

So, I phoned his mobile - no answer so I left a message. Then I phoned my Mum to say we might not be able to make it but I'd keep looking for the key. Phoned Bill's boss to try and find out where he is to get in touch with him, but she wasn't there so left a message on her machine. Then I remembered that all the equipment for the Rural Cinema scheme was locked in the car and it was being collected today at 2pm by the next village! Phoned my colleague in the office to get the Rural Cinema man's phone number. Considered what it would be like to tell them that they would have to cancel their showing for this evening! Phoned a friend to see if she knew of anyone who knew how to break into a car! She was a good deal more sensible, and recommended I phone the AA. Seemed like a good plan so I did that next. They were remarkably quick and came within half an hour. Found Bill's mobile phone in the back of the car!!! Phoned my Mum to say we still weren't going to make it as I still didn't have the key to drive. Phoned the Rural Cinema man to tell him to collect from my house and not the office. Of course, all this time the girls were little angels ....not!! It seemed like every 5 minutes they were fighting and arguing over something new. Wished I had a cellar like the Beans to lock someone into! Or at least threaten....

At last we took the dog out for a walk, then got back and seemed to faff around not settling down to anything. Seemed to fulfil one request for food or drink after another. Did a bit of the laundry shuffle. I sat down to read "Who were the first people" (still interested due to reading Clan of the Cave Bear series) and Jade lay on the back of the sofa looking over my shoulder, until Shannon started pushing and shoving and they started fighting again (sigh...). Gave up and made lunch.

I really don't know what we've been doing since then, but got fed up with Jade saying she was bored around 3pm and got out a few bits and pieces - "Super Science" workbook, drawing skeletons book, "Beyond the Code" book 1, and she said she wasn't interested in any of them so I made her sit down and do Super Science, which she usually enjoys. She huffed and puffed, said it was too hard, she didn't want to do it, so I threatened school ..... I used to read other people's blogs and think they were rather mean to issue school threats just because things weren't going perfectly. What can I say; I am swallowing my pride. She did do one page with bad grace, objected to having to think what the answer to "What part of the body do we use for looking at things" might be .... so I suggested we move on to Beyond the code. She loves literacy type stuff. But by this time we were both grumpy and fed up with each other. I asked her to read out the beginning passage, and she refused to read out loud. She wanted me to read it. Or to read it to herself, not out loud. This is too close for comfort to SM behaviour, so I probably over-reacted and insisted she had to read it out to me. Actually part of the SM is this absolute fear of getting things wrong, and not wanting to try anything she thinks she might get wrong. I need to come to terms with this and find some good strategies for addressing it instead of just getting all stroppy with her about it, which is completely counterproductive. At this point the doorbell rang, probably very fortunately, and it was L from next door, so they are now running about and playing and making Shannon scream again when they run away and exclude her.

I am very out of sorts at the moment. I have the wrong attitude to all sorts of things, and can't seem to sort my head out. And I hate making a battleground of education but find myself doing so anyway. I feel like I don't want to be doing any of what I am doing, like being with the kids, being at work, anything. And yet I know that's not really the main problem, just the symptom. Need a week in a health farm, I think.

See, I told you housework makes me ill!

I don't know what came over me this morning, really, except that I read a blog last night about spring cleaning, and decided there are some really disgusting corners of this house that I ought to have a go at. So I took everything off the top of the kitchen cupboards at the left hand side of the sink, hoovered up the cobwebs and dead woodlice, wiped down the walls and ceiling, washed the sticky dust off everything that was going to go back up there and threw a whole load of stuff out.

And then got a really horrid headache that has lasted the rest of the day. So that's enough of that then!

Yesterday (Friday) morning we did some fun stuff. Following the suggestions for language development in Sonlight, I did some "Simon Says" games with the girls, including variations on a theme like "Silly Simon". Shannon just copied whatever Jade did! Then we did a geography game where each of us said the name of a place (country, town, city or whatever) and the next person had to think of the name of a place beginning with the last letter of the previous name. Jade needed a bit of help with this so she brought down the "Counties of the United Kingdom" map from her bedroom and cribbed the names of a few places. Then I read out a bit of stuff from "Living Long Ago" on food and eating. They both did a couple of jigsaw puzzles.

My Dad came over in the afternoon, and I was pretty shocked that for quite a while Jade would not talk to him or in front of him. He used to come every week and babysit, and she has always been very comfortable and chatty with him, but he 'retired' from that last year and since then we've mostly seen him with his wife to whom Jade will not talk. I had become slightly worried that she might stop talking to my Dad, but didn't think she actually had done, but that's why I had suggested to him that he ought to try and come over on his own reasonably often. So I was rather gutted that she would only whisper in my ear in front of him for a while. Later in the visit, though, I had to go upstairs and after I came down my Dad gestured (when she wasn't looking) that she had talked to him while I was gone.

Still, the childminder has now had a briefing session from the speech therapist about becoming Jade's keyworker, and starting the 'sliding-in' sessions so that hopefully before long she will become someone that Jade can talk to, and then she (childminder) will introduce other people into the 'talking circle' too.

Maybe if your child has to suffer from something then it's better that it's selective mutism rather than a physical illness, but it still has me worried sick about her sometimes. I foresee a life of anxiety, depression and social isolation ahead of her if we can't get this straightened out pretty soon.

Wot, no blog?

Shannon's been quite poorly this week with a very heavy cold that has had her feverish and wakeful in the night for 5 nights in a row, and sorrowful, clingy and whingey during the day. Whenever I've sat down at my computer, it hasn't been long before she's woken up crying for me, and needing ages to settle. Hence no blogging!

I did take her out to HE group on Tuesday morning where the girls had fun painting eggs, making chocolate nests, making baskets and doing an Easter egg hunt. Neither of the girls would let go of my hands, though, so it's not a very social occasion for either them or me!

Not much else to report - a little bit of other educational stuff but not much. We did have a nice conversation about Fair Trade this morning while still in bed. Hope to go to the library this afternoon.

You Are Flip Flops

You are laid back and very friendly. Cheery and sunny in disposition, you usually have something to smile about. Style is important to you, as long as you can stay casual. It takes a lot to get you to dress up! You are a loyal and true person, though you can be a bit of a flake. You tend to "play hooky" and blow off responsibilities a lot more than most people. You should live: By the beach You should work: At a casual up and coming company

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

Following on from Jade's expressed interest in the cello at Melrose, Bill has borrowed one from work for a few days so she can have a go. She's just fiddling about with it on her own, but is loving it and still says she wants one. I've found a few online videos showing basic technique so will show her those later, when L from next door has gone home. I've also confirmed I can hire one from Gloucestershire Music for £26 per term, so that'll be useful! I've identified a teacher in Stratford-on-Avon who is playing at a wedding fayre nearby next Saturday, so we'll go and have a peek at her.

Meanwhile Shannon is feverish with a bad cold, so is touchy and weepy (even more than usual!) so she didn't come out with us on our "Keep the Cotswolds Clean" Spring Litter Pick this morning. Jade and I went (well I had to - I was organising it!), and about 7 others turned up to help, so we made a useful difference to the amount of rubbish lying around. It gives me a warm virtuous feeling!

Yesterday started off somewhat dodgily. Thought I'd get the dreaded maths over with first thing, so started playing a game with Jade using the '100 square' book we've got. The game involved me choosing a number, and then we took in turns to use a number from the top line (i.e. 0-9), adding and if necessary subtracting, to try and reach the target number I'd chosen. At the end of the first (demonstration) try, when I got to the target number I said "I won that one" and gave myself a tick on the sheet of paper. Cue Jade throwing a strop, throwing away her pencil and refusing to do any more. OK, so she hasn't learned to be a good loser yet! Actually, I got furious with her, and said she wasn't leaving the table until she was prepared to have another go. I (outwardly) calmly went and got my book
(which is utterly fab, BTW, if you've never read it). I sat and read and asked every now and then (calmly!) if she was prepared to have another go yet. She got down under the table, went and hid in the under-stairs cupboard next to the table, and all sorts but I just went and got her and sat her back in her chair and said again she wasn't leaving till she'd had another go. I was seriously doubting whether it was wise to make it into such a big battle of wills, but I am so fed up with these strops over minor little things (me saying I'd won, this time) and I just didn't want her to get away with not doing what she was supposed to be doing again. In the end, she started drawing hearts on a piece of paper and gave it to me. This gave me the idea to write her a note, so I wrote "Dear Jade, I hate it when you give up and won't even try. I love you." I passed it to her. She came and climbed on my knee, and I cuddled her and then asked her if she was prepared to have another go yet. She said yes. We had another go, and she got it right first time :-) We then did some simple sums with M&Ms for 5 minutes and she got to eat one every time she got it right. She did adding and subtracting (numbers less than 10) and we also touched on multiplying and dividing. I then with great relief left maths alone on a relative high note!

We then moved over to the sofa for a bit of reading together. I read "Where Babies come from" with her. We've gone over most of that stuff before, but she has never asked the critical question of how seed meets egg. She's not in any doubt now - a very clear picture told it all, but she didn't bat an eyelid except at the kissing!! Then we moved on to "Mary on Horseback", part of the Sonlight package, which we finished off.

Next I put on an episode of Time Team which I'd downloaded onto my laptop from the Ch4 website, which was nearly about to expire. It was set not far from here so I'd particularly wanted to see it. After about 10 minutes viewing the archaeological dig, the girls wanted to go out and dig up 'pottery' from the (as yet empty) vegetable patch. That lasted about 5 minutes until Jade had another strop because Shannon started digging in the hole that Jade had dug, so we came back in and we finished watching Time Team.

I can't remember what happened next - I think maybe it was lunchtime!

Sometime in the afternoon we did some minor "science with air" out of the little Usborne book of the same name, took the dog for a short walk, prevented WW3 breaking out several times over use of the computer/recorder/keyboard/voice-activated dog/anything else you care to mention and eventually I refused to do anything other than sit on the sofa and finish my book. Shannon came for 'hungry' (b/f) and fell asleep at about 4pm. I woke her up about 4.45pm, and then put "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" (BBC version) on for them to watch while I made dinner.

After dinner it was bath, hairwashes & nit-combing (just to check - they've been spotted at Shannon's playschool) but we are clear, and then a very chaotic period where Shannon in particular was way too energetic to want to go to bed and I was too tired to enforce anything, so I lolled about and let them muck around. Eventually I did stories and bed for Shannon, but unlike me she hadn't fallen asleep by the time DH got home around 9pm. So I went to bed, Jade followed me and fell asleep with me while DH got Shannon to sleep.

Melrose and more

I'm feeling tired and a bit fragile after Melrose and the 9-hour journey home yesterday (punctuated by stops at Tebay services and then, unexpectedly, at Anni's where we had yummy fish and chips). I suspect today is going to be a very lazy day - in fact it already is, as it is 11.30am and the girls have done nothing but watch TV/DVDs while I loll about doing not much, and none of us is even dressed yet. Well, that's not completely true - Shannon is dressed, but only because she was transferred sleeping from the car to her bed last night so is still wearing yesterday's dress.

(Later)

Well, today's ended up being even lazier than I had thought - I got a bad stomach-ache around about lunchtime which has lasted all afternoon. In fact I had stomach-ache on the drive home yesterday - feared 'the bug' obviously, but by the time I got home it was much better. I suspect it is a version of my 'seized-up stomach' that I get every now and then when my stomach motility seems to completely cease and everything just sits there like a big stone inside me - though this time it is rather more painful than usual. This meant that I still haven't got the car emptied and have done nothing but lie around all afternoon trying to feel comfortable somehow while plying the kids with DVDs and TV. I called Bill and he came home early to help out.

Anyway, back to Melrose. Jade found it very difficult. I think it may have had a lot to do with not having stayed overnight with someone beforehand to bond strongly with at least one child before she got there. We had planned to stay with Anni but the quarantine period from Shannon's 'D' episodes on Friday morning put a stop to that. So we arrived on Sunday evening, had dinner, unpacked and then I put the girls to bed. Monday's plans changed suddenly when we went down to the kitchen at about 8am to get me a cup of tea and breakfast for Jade, and Shannon seemed to get something caught in her throat, coughed a bit, and then threw up all over the kitchen floor. It was difficult to know what it was - she had had these couple of episodes of 'd' on Friday, but the last one was lunchtime on Friday and so this was therefore about 68 hours later... and it did look more like she just choked a little on something which made her 'v' - but nevertheless we decided to quarantine ourselves in our room for 24 hours at least, to see what happened. She appeared to be in the best of health all day, so we went out shopping in Galashiels for a while for a change of scene. Nothing else untoward happened so by agreement with others we declared it probably to have been a false alarm and resumed normal activities on Tuesday. I do really and truly hope we didn't cause the outbreak of d and v that ended up spreading around - as a lifelong emetophobic I know how much I dread us catching stuff like that and I would never knowingly expose anyone else. We really had tried to take every precaution, and unless the quarantine period from the 'd' should have been longer than 48 hours I don't see what else we could have done. And maybe it wasn't us anyway.

But, back to Jade. I know she talked to Aprilia, and played with her a little in our room. Apart from that, I think she only played on her own or stayed with me and Shannon. She was much more reluctant to talk to anybody or join in with things than last year, and I was quite disappointed because she's made progress at home - speaking in front of visitors to the house - and I'd hoped we'd see her join in more with the others. But it is such a big leap to go from that to a whole hostel full of happy kids going round in groups and she just couldn't manage it this time. By the end of Wednesday, on top of all the anxiety about the illness going round, which probably made everything else seem a lot worse, I felt quite upset about how 'disabled' she really is. It's obviously not just selective mutism - it's not all about talking - it's major social anxiety as well. Last week we were busily filling in the forms to apply for Disability Living Allowance (on the advice of the psychiatrist) but I was feeling a bit guilty about it as, in her own home and with familiar routines and obviously being home-educated, we don't notice her problems as much as perhaps we otherwise would. But the time at Melrose really showed her up in extremely stark contrast to what other children her age do, and I really did end the time there feeling she really is disabled. It's so hard to see your child struggling in a major way with things that everyone else finds so straightforward. It's hard to see her not joining in, not playing, not talking and laughing with other kids. She couldn't even go to the toilets without me, and although she could spend a little time in the common room on her own, it wasn't long before she came to find me.

She watched the music session with interest, and asked me to go and fetch her recorder, but wouldn't join in (she just wanted to prove to everyone that she had one too, I think). But at the end she expressed interest in the cello played by Anna, and said she wanted one. I asked Anna if she would show it to Jade, and she was very happy to do so, but unfortunately the audience of other interested kids meant Jade would only hide behind me and refused to sit and have a go, even if she was sitting on my knee. On getting home she still says she wants a cello. I could hire one from the County Music service, but I see little point in doing so without her taking lessons, and it's going to take a lot of work to persuade her to even try to do so.

Shannon didn't show her best side either. At home, she's full of cuteness, laughter, giggles, funny faces and dancing. At Melrose, she seemed to mostly just scream with rage because Jade went in front of her, or opened the door first, or they wanted the same toy, or something else.

So what with the pain of watching Jade struggle so much, and the fact that it stresses me out having her almost glued to my side all the time, and Shannon's screaming and wailing, and the creeping vomit-fest, I opted to leave a day early. I'm very glad I did so, but apologies to those who stayed till the end and did all the cleaning. I think I was one of the last few there last year, though, doing a fair bit of it, so I won't cripple myself with guilt over it.

At the moment, I don't think I would go to Melrose again. Jade will have to be an awful lot better socially for it to be worth me braving the stomach-bug risk again, I think.

Monday and Tuesday

Brief notes only - made blogging notes yesterday to remind myself but haven't got enough time to pad them out too much.

Monday - Story of the World - beginning of India chapter/Indus River. Map. Tried to get Jade to attempt narration but not much effort.

Maths - adding and subtracting chocolate drops and Cuisenaire rods - 2 pages Miquon. Introduced the idea of multiplication and 3 x tables (already can do 2s).

Spanish DVD.

Making fairy kit / daisy chain kit

Tuesday - face painting first thing which led to lots of lovely giggles. Read some Sonlight Books - "Finding Out about Everyday Things" - under the sea/waves. Talked about mammals/plankton/food chains/fish/gills. Then read "Living long ago" - caves. Read all of "A Dolphin story". Did some measuring with feet/hands and Jade made the link to measuring horses in hands which is 4".

We also had a visit from the speech therapist but for some reason Jade got extremely stroppy/upset when she arrived - possibly because she commented on Jade's painted face? Don't know. She got very bad-tempered and unco-operative, hit Shannon, got put on the stairs for time-out and she stormed off upstairs. She then refused to have anything to do with anybody until the SLT was about to leave, then insisted on showing her the bit of dog-training she'd been doing, making Poppy sit and stay. When I tried to talk to her about it later and find out what had made her so stroppy, she just said, twice, "I don't know anything about it." Strange, as she usually looks forward to the SLT sessions. But we do get quite a lot of this stroppy/angry/upset behaviour and she absolutely refuses to discuss it at all.

Today: I was working all day although with a Dr appt this morning and yet another dental appt this afternoon I wasn't there much - will book it as a half-day off. It's easier to make appts for when the kids are being looked after by DH! While I was gone Jade has worked some way through a "Nutrition Mission" CD-Rom and they've looked at/talked about rocks and shells. By the time I got in they were in the middle of watching Snow White on the big screen.

I'm hoping that the dentist has been successful this third time of working on my tooth - I think we may have done the trick this time! Had more nice driving in the sunshine listening to JD, though, so not so bad!