She's so excited!

We finally got round to going to Gloucester to hire a cello from the Gloucestershire Music Service:



She's really enjoying it, but absolutely refuses to take any guidance as to what to do - "I want to just do it my way!" she says. We looked at a couple of online videos but she missed the one I saw about how to position the bow and absolutely wouldn't listen to me when I suggested the right way to do it. Ah well, I guess there are self-taught musicians around!! It's probably going to be a good idea to expose her to videos and recordings of good cellists so that she can be inspired and maybe she'll see for herself the technique they are using. The other thing I'm going to do is try and set a good example of myself learning to play my bass guitar which DH bought me for my birthday last August and I have picked up and played precisely twice! This morning I've received my Tesco DVD hire delivery which is bass guitar lessons so if I am diligent, maybe she will follow suit.

Oh, and Sarah, she really wanted me to phone you to get Anna to come round and watch her!!!

Anyway, I really wasn't planning to do this:



I've always promised myself I will not let my children learn the violin - I didn't want to endure all the screeching and scratching. But faced with Shannon's longing face when she saw the little violins at the hire place, I just couldn't help but relent!!

Weird

There's a boy in our HE group called Ben. I think I've mentioned this before - I found out a few months ago that his birthday is the day before or after (can't quite remember which) my Benjamin's birthday - same year. And they dropped in today to give Jade an invitation to his birthday party on Saturday. So now on my calendar I have a note which says "2.30 - Ben's party". Just as it might well have been in other circumstances. Bizarre, but OK. It's not upsetting me or anything. Just feels slightly strange.

In print

The Time Bank that I run was featured in the Times last week - check it out! They got some of it wrong, of course - the trip to Hidcote Manor Gardens was last month, not last year. And the National Trust was our very first organisational member six years ago, so it's not that recent of a development. But never mind. Oh, and I am the "co-broker" mentioned after Lyn's comment.

Should I be happy?

I really can't decide whether to be pleased or not! I had a Recorded Delivery Letter today saying I had won a holiday worth £3750! Couldn't help but be a bit excited. Got home and found it is this holiday company. We are entitled to one week's accommodation for 4 people at any of the resorts for life (but not travel). BUT we have to pay the management fee which the first year is discounted to about £275 and normally is £367.

So, in a nutshell, we have to pay (this year) £275 for a week's self-catering accommodation - any time of the year. We have to travel there at our own expense. Seeing as we always holiday in our caravan because we can't even afford a cottage holiday, I really can't tell if this is much of a bargain or not!

Highlights

Jade lost 2 teeth on Saturday. About time too - one of them had been extremely wobbly for months!

Had a lovely HE moment last night, while putting her to bed, when Jade asked about oxygen, and air, and radio waves - she said she was confused about it all. I explained, adequately I think!

Had a horrible HE moment this morning when I made Jade cry while trying to teach her to tell the time. Every time she comes across numbers she says she finds it too hard.

Monday was completely frittered away. Had intended to start Shannon on 'Letter of the Week' or somesuch light introduction to the alphabet, but somehow it never happened, and I felt like the day was just completely wasted on pacifying the needs of 2 demanding girls. Didn't do anything constructive with Jade either.

Started to gather together the papers for taxing the Prius yesterday ..... and found the MOT expired last September!!! Why oh why isn't there some proper reminder system for it? They're quick enough to remind us to tax our cars - why can't there be MOT reminders too! It also needs brake pads and discs replacing, and 4 new tyres. Ouch! Don't know how we're paying for all that yet! Still, on the bright side, when I do get round to taxing it, it will only cost £15 for the year!

Edited to add: Waah! Just lost most of my template when I deleted that annoying chicken-out counter thing, and have lost my Benjamin ticker.... and don't know where I got it from!
Later - Phew, managed to make another one. Now all I need is the blogring code...

Time flies when you're having fun....

So, I haven't blogged, I haven't done much laundry for too long, the house is even messier than usual .... what's going on?

Well, I have simply been unable to put down Valley of Horses, the second in the Jean Auel (pronounced 'Owl', apparently) Earth's Children series, until I finished it late last night. I don't generally read much fiction these days, but as there are 5 books in this series (and book 6 should be on the way) I shall be kept busy for a while yet. Anyway I have a bit of respite until Book 3 arrives from Amazon, so thought I'd better try and catch up a bit.

Took Jade to Snowshill Manor yesterday (while Shannon was at playschool) and joined the National Trust while I was there. I'd never been inside the house before, which is amazingly stuffed with all sorts of exotic furniture and curios. Jade did rather race me through many of the rooms because she was desperate to see the cellos in the Music Room, but the rest of the collections were well worth looking at and will bear repeated visits I hope. I joined because I particularly like the idea of just popping up there or to Hidcote Manor Gardens, which is also local, on a lovely sunny day and hanging out in a beautiful place.

Must dash now, as it's HE group this afternoon at the local library and I need to gather stuff together to take, not to mention the library books that are due back.

Dein Ergebnis:: 9 - the Peacemaker

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE (aka "The Mediator")

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union
with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially
  don't like expectations or pressure.



• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.



• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.



• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge
  me gently and nonjudgmentally.



• Ask me questions to help me get clear.



• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.



• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.



• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.



• Let me know you like what I've done or said.



• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

• being nonjudgmental and accepting



• caring for and being concerned about others



• being able to relax and have a good time



• knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around



• my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good
  mediator and facilitator



• my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and
  now



• being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

• being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive



• being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline



• being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally



• being confused about what I really want



• caring too much about what others will think of me



• not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

• feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
  



• tune out a lot, especially when others argue



• are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
  

NINEs as Parents

• are supportive, kind, and warm



• are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?

so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?

so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...



...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BX

Would you rather have chosen:

AX (SEVEN)

CX (TWO)

BY (FOUR)

BZ (FIVE)

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Kostenloses Online Dating, home of the The Dating Typ Test View My Profile(felk)

Better

Jade pointed out as we ate dinner this evening that I hadn't got cross with her all day! Yes, that is a very notable event. Probably just because we've been too busy.

Shannon's playschool has a parent rota for helping out once per term, and it was my turn today. Jade came too. She found it a bit boring actually, and apart from the times when she wasn't hanging on to me spent most of her time in the home corner. They both enjoyed the Easter Egg Hunt, though, but then Jade got very upset when she made a slightly wobbly tooth get extremely loose while eating celery at lunchtime. So now that's two teeth hanging on by their fingernails (so to speak...) ..... the first of which has been like that for months. I do wish they'd both just come out, but she really gets quite scared and upset about it.

Then we came home for a bit of Tom & Jerry/Simpsons for the girls and a quick nap for me and then out to swimming. Having had a break of a few weeks due to bad colds/parental unwillingness to go, Jade astonished me by getting into the pool and launching straight into swimming a few metres, and then did it again and again. She normally just plays and saves practising 'proper' swimming till the end. She seems to be stuck at doing about 8 strokes in a row and then having to put her feet down, which seems odd. If you can do 8 strokes, couldn't you just keep going? Anyway, she'll get the hang of it in her own time, I'm sure. She's resistant to any but the gentlest of hints about improving technique, so it'll be her own way or not at all.

Mama told me there'd be days like these...

It's not going too well here today. The original plan was to meet my Mum at a big garden centre place near Abingdon. But Bill has gone on a course today and went off this morning saying that he couldn't find the car key for the estate car (he was taking the Prius) but I must have them because I was the last one to use it on Saturday night, and he didn't seem to have it anywhere. I accepted this, assuming I'd be able to find it later on. However when I looked, I couldn't find it, and then I realised that Bill had moved the car to a different place on the driveway on Sunday morning so he was the last one to use the key.

So, I phoned his mobile - no answer so I left a message. Then I phoned my Mum to say we might not be able to make it but I'd keep looking for the key. Phoned Bill's boss to try and find out where he is to get in touch with him, but she wasn't there so left a message on her machine. Then I remembered that all the equipment for the Rural Cinema scheme was locked in the car and it was being collected today at 2pm by the next village! Phoned my colleague in the office to get the Rural Cinema man's phone number. Considered what it would be like to tell them that they would have to cancel their showing for this evening! Phoned a friend to see if she knew of anyone who knew how to break into a car! She was a good deal more sensible, and recommended I phone the AA. Seemed like a good plan so I did that next. They were remarkably quick and came within half an hour. Found Bill's mobile phone in the back of the car!!! Phoned my Mum to say we still weren't going to make it as I still didn't have the key to drive. Phoned the Rural Cinema man to tell him to collect from my house and not the office. Of course, all this time the girls were little angels ....not!! It seemed like every 5 minutes they were fighting and arguing over something new. Wished I had a cellar like the Beans to lock someone into! Or at least threaten....

At last we took the dog out for a walk, then got back and seemed to faff around not settling down to anything. Seemed to fulfil one request for food or drink after another. Did a bit of the laundry shuffle. I sat down to read "Who were the first people" (still interested due to reading Clan of the Cave Bear series) and Jade lay on the back of the sofa looking over my shoulder, until Shannon started pushing and shoving and they started fighting again (sigh...). Gave up and made lunch.

I really don't know what we've been doing since then, but got fed up with Jade saying she was bored around 3pm and got out a few bits and pieces - "Super Science" workbook, drawing skeletons book, "Beyond the Code" book 1, and she said she wasn't interested in any of them so I made her sit down and do Super Science, which she usually enjoys. She huffed and puffed, said it was too hard, she didn't want to do it, so I threatened school ..... I used to read other people's blogs and think they were rather mean to issue school threats just because things weren't going perfectly. What can I say; I am swallowing my pride. She did do one page with bad grace, objected to having to think what the answer to "What part of the body do we use for looking at things" might be .... so I suggested we move on to Beyond the code. She loves literacy type stuff. But by this time we were both grumpy and fed up with each other. I asked her to read out the beginning passage, and she refused to read out loud. She wanted me to read it. Or to read it to herself, not out loud. This is too close for comfort to SM behaviour, so I probably over-reacted and insisted she had to read it out to me. Actually part of the SM is this absolute fear of getting things wrong, and not wanting to try anything she thinks she might get wrong. I need to come to terms with this and find some good strategies for addressing it instead of just getting all stroppy with her about it, which is completely counterproductive. At this point the doorbell rang, probably very fortunately, and it was L from next door, so they are now running about and playing and making Shannon scream again when they run away and exclude her.

I am very out of sorts at the moment. I have the wrong attitude to all sorts of things, and can't seem to sort my head out. And I hate making a battleground of education but find myself doing so anyway. I feel like I don't want to be doing any of what I am doing, like being with the kids, being at work, anything. And yet I know that's not really the main problem, just the symptom. Need a week in a health farm, I think.

See, I told you housework makes me ill!

I don't know what came over me this morning, really, except that I read a blog last night about spring cleaning, and decided there are some really disgusting corners of this house that I ought to have a go at. So I took everything off the top of the kitchen cupboards at the left hand side of the sink, hoovered up the cobwebs and dead woodlice, wiped down the walls and ceiling, washed the sticky dust off everything that was going to go back up there and threw a whole load of stuff out.

And then got a really horrid headache that has lasted the rest of the day. So that's enough of that then!

Yesterday (Friday) morning we did some fun stuff. Following the suggestions for language development in Sonlight, I did some "Simon Says" games with the girls, including variations on a theme like "Silly Simon". Shannon just copied whatever Jade did! Then we did a geography game where each of us said the name of a place (country, town, city or whatever) and the next person had to think of the name of a place beginning with the last letter of the previous name. Jade needed a bit of help with this so she brought down the "Counties of the United Kingdom" map from her bedroom and cribbed the names of a few places. Then I read out a bit of stuff from "Living Long Ago" on food and eating. They both did a couple of jigsaw puzzles.

My Dad came over in the afternoon, and I was pretty shocked that for quite a while Jade would not talk to him or in front of him. He used to come every week and babysit, and she has always been very comfortable and chatty with him, but he 'retired' from that last year and since then we've mostly seen him with his wife to whom Jade will not talk. I had become slightly worried that she might stop talking to my Dad, but didn't think she actually had done, but that's why I had suggested to him that he ought to try and come over on his own reasonably often. So I was rather gutted that she would only whisper in my ear in front of him for a while. Later in the visit, though, I had to go upstairs and after I came down my Dad gestured (when she wasn't looking) that she had talked to him while I was gone.

Still, the childminder has now had a briefing session from the speech therapist about becoming Jade's keyworker, and starting the 'sliding-in' sessions so that hopefully before long she will become someone that Jade can talk to, and then she (childminder) will introduce other people into the 'talking circle' too.

Maybe if your child has to suffer from something then it's better that it's selective mutism rather than a physical illness, but it still has me worried sick about her sometimes. I foresee a life of anxiety, depression and social isolation ahead of her if we can't get this straightened out pretty soon.

Wot, no blog?

Shannon's been quite poorly this week with a very heavy cold that has had her feverish and wakeful in the night for 5 nights in a row, and sorrowful, clingy and whingey during the day. Whenever I've sat down at my computer, it hasn't been long before she's woken up crying for me, and needing ages to settle. Hence no blogging!

I did take her out to HE group on Tuesday morning where the girls had fun painting eggs, making chocolate nests, making baskets and doing an Easter egg hunt. Neither of the girls would let go of my hands, though, so it's not a very social occasion for either them or me!

Not much else to report - a little bit of other educational stuff but not much. We did have a nice conversation about Fair Trade this morning while still in bed. Hope to go to the library this afternoon.

You Are Flip Flops

You are laid back and very friendly. Cheery and sunny in disposition, you usually have something to smile about. Style is important to you, as long as you can stay casual. It takes a lot to get you to dress up! You are a loyal and true person, though you can be a bit of a flake. You tend to "play hooky" and blow off responsibilities a lot more than most people. You should live: By the beach You should work: At a casual up and coming company

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

Following on from Jade's expressed interest in the cello at Melrose, Bill has borrowed one from work for a few days so she can have a go. She's just fiddling about with it on her own, but is loving it and still says she wants one. I've found a few online videos showing basic technique so will show her those later, when L from next door has gone home. I've also confirmed I can hire one from Gloucestershire Music for £26 per term, so that'll be useful! I've identified a teacher in Stratford-on-Avon who is playing at a wedding fayre nearby next Saturday, so we'll go and have a peek at her.

Meanwhile Shannon is feverish with a bad cold, so is touchy and weepy (even more than usual!) so she didn't come out with us on our "Keep the Cotswolds Clean" Spring Litter Pick this morning. Jade and I went (well I had to - I was organising it!), and about 7 others turned up to help, so we made a useful difference to the amount of rubbish lying around. It gives me a warm virtuous feeling!

Yesterday started off somewhat dodgily. Thought I'd get the dreaded maths over with first thing, so started playing a game with Jade using the '100 square' book we've got. The game involved me choosing a number, and then we took in turns to use a number from the top line (i.e. 0-9), adding and if necessary subtracting, to try and reach the target number I'd chosen. At the end of the first (demonstration) try, when I got to the target number I said "I won that one" and gave myself a tick on the sheet of paper. Cue Jade throwing a strop, throwing away her pencil and refusing to do any more. OK, so she hasn't learned to be a good loser yet! Actually, I got furious with her, and said she wasn't leaving the table until she was prepared to have another go. I (outwardly) calmly went and got my book
(which is utterly fab, BTW, if you've never read it). I sat and read and asked every now and then (calmly!) if she was prepared to have another go yet. She got down under the table, went and hid in the under-stairs cupboard next to the table, and all sorts but I just went and got her and sat her back in her chair and said again she wasn't leaving till she'd had another go. I was seriously doubting whether it was wise to make it into such a big battle of wills, but I am so fed up with these strops over minor little things (me saying I'd won, this time) and I just didn't want her to get away with not doing what she was supposed to be doing again. In the end, she started drawing hearts on a piece of paper and gave it to me. This gave me the idea to write her a note, so I wrote "Dear Jade, I hate it when you give up and won't even try. I love you." I passed it to her. She came and climbed on my knee, and I cuddled her and then asked her if she was prepared to have another go yet. She said yes. We had another go, and she got it right first time :-) We then did some simple sums with M&Ms for 5 minutes and she got to eat one every time she got it right. She did adding and subtracting (numbers less than 10) and we also touched on multiplying and dividing. I then with great relief left maths alone on a relative high note!

We then moved over to the sofa for a bit of reading together. I read "Where Babies come from" with her. We've gone over most of that stuff before, but she has never asked the critical question of how seed meets egg. She's not in any doubt now - a very clear picture told it all, but she didn't bat an eyelid except at the kissing!! Then we moved on to "Mary on Horseback", part of the Sonlight package, which we finished off.

Next I put on an episode of Time Team which I'd downloaded onto my laptop from the Ch4 website, which was nearly about to expire. It was set not far from here so I'd particularly wanted to see it. After about 10 minutes viewing the archaeological dig, the girls wanted to go out and dig up 'pottery' from the (as yet empty) vegetable patch. That lasted about 5 minutes until Jade had another strop because Shannon started digging in the hole that Jade had dug, so we came back in and we finished watching Time Team.

I can't remember what happened next - I think maybe it was lunchtime!

Sometime in the afternoon we did some minor "science with air" out of the little Usborne book of the same name, took the dog for a short walk, prevented WW3 breaking out several times over use of the computer/recorder/keyboard/voice-activated dog/anything else you care to mention and eventually I refused to do anything other than sit on the sofa and finish my book. Shannon came for 'hungry' (b/f) and fell asleep at about 4pm. I woke her up about 4.45pm, and then put "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" (BBC version) on for them to watch while I made dinner.

After dinner it was bath, hairwashes & nit-combing (just to check - they've been spotted at Shannon's playschool) but we are clear, and then a very chaotic period where Shannon in particular was way too energetic to want to go to bed and I was too tired to enforce anything, so I lolled about and let them muck around. Eventually I did stories and bed for Shannon, but unlike me she hadn't fallen asleep by the time DH got home around 9pm. So I went to bed, Jade followed me and fell asleep with me while DH got Shannon to sleep.

Melrose and more

I'm feeling tired and a bit fragile after Melrose and the 9-hour journey home yesterday (punctuated by stops at Tebay services and then, unexpectedly, at Anni's where we had yummy fish and chips). I suspect today is going to be a very lazy day - in fact it already is, as it is 11.30am and the girls have done nothing but watch TV/DVDs while I loll about doing not much, and none of us is even dressed yet. Well, that's not completely true - Shannon is dressed, but only because she was transferred sleeping from the car to her bed last night so is still wearing yesterday's dress.

(Later)

Well, today's ended up being even lazier than I had thought - I got a bad stomach-ache around about lunchtime which has lasted all afternoon. In fact I had stomach-ache on the drive home yesterday - feared 'the bug' obviously, but by the time I got home it was much better. I suspect it is a version of my 'seized-up stomach' that I get every now and then when my stomach motility seems to completely cease and everything just sits there like a big stone inside me - though this time it is rather more painful than usual. This meant that I still haven't got the car emptied and have done nothing but lie around all afternoon trying to feel comfortable somehow while plying the kids with DVDs and TV. I called Bill and he came home early to help out.

Anyway, back to Melrose. Jade found it very difficult. I think it may have had a lot to do with not having stayed overnight with someone beforehand to bond strongly with at least one child before she got there. We had planned to stay with Anni but the quarantine period from Shannon's 'D' episodes on Friday morning put a stop to that. So we arrived on Sunday evening, had dinner, unpacked and then I put the girls to bed. Monday's plans changed suddenly when we went down to the kitchen at about 8am to get me a cup of tea and breakfast for Jade, and Shannon seemed to get something caught in her throat, coughed a bit, and then threw up all over the kitchen floor. It was difficult to know what it was - she had had these couple of episodes of 'd' on Friday, but the last one was lunchtime on Friday and so this was therefore about 68 hours later... and it did look more like she just choked a little on something which made her 'v' - but nevertheless we decided to quarantine ourselves in our room for 24 hours at least, to see what happened. She appeared to be in the best of health all day, so we went out shopping in Galashiels for a while for a change of scene. Nothing else untoward happened so by agreement with others we declared it probably to have been a false alarm and resumed normal activities on Tuesday. I do really and truly hope we didn't cause the outbreak of d and v that ended up spreading around - as a lifelong emetophobic I know how much I dread us catching stuff like that and I would never knowingly expose anyone else. We really had tried to take every precaution, and unless the quarantine period from the 'd' should have been longer than 48 hours I don't see what else we could have done. And maybe it wasn't us anyway.

But, back to Jade. I know she talked to Aprilia, and played with her a little in our room. Apart from that, I think she only played on her own or stayed with me and Shannon. She was much more reluctant to talk to anybody or join in with things than last year, and I was quite disappointed because she's made progress at home - speaking in front of visitors to the house - and I'd hoped we'd see her join in more with the others. But it is such a big leap to go from that to a whole hostel full of happy kids going round in groups and she just couldn't manage it this time. By the end of Wednesday, on top of all the anxiety about the illness going round, which probably made everything else seem a lot worse, I felt quite upset about how 'disabled' she really is. It's obviously not just selective mutism - it's not all about talking - it's major social anxiety as well. Last week we were busily filling in the forms to apply for Disability Living Allowance (on the advice of the psychiatrist) but I was feeling a bit guilty about it as, in her own home and with familiar routines and obviously being home-educated, we don't notice her problems as much as perhaps we otherwise would. But the time at Melrose really showed her up in extremely stark contrast to what other children her age do, and I really did end the time there feeling she really is disabled. It's so hard to see your child struggling in a major way with things that everyone else finds so straightforward. It's hard to see her not joining in, not playing, not talking and laughing with other kids. She couldn't even go to the toilets without me, and although she could spend a little time in the common room on her own, it wasn't long before she came to find me.

She watched the music session with interest, and asked me to go and fetch her recorder, but wouldn't join in (she just wanted to prove to everyone that she had one too, I think). But at the end she expressed interest in the cello played by Anna, and said she wanted one. I asked Anna if she would show it to Jade, and she was very happy to do so, but unfortunately the audience of other interested kids meant Jade would only hide behind me and refused to sit and have a go, even if she was sitting on my knee. On getting home she still says she wants a cello. I could hire one from the County Music service, but I see little point in doing so without her taking lessons, and it's going to take a lot of work to persuade her to even try to do so.

Shannon didn't show her best side either. At home, she's full of cuteness, laughter, giggles, funny faces and dancing. At Melrose, she seemed to mostly just scream with rage because Jade went in front of her, or opened the door first, or they wanted the same toy, or something else.

So what with the pain of watching Jade struggle so much, and the fact that it stresses me out having her almost glued to my side all the time, and Shannon's screaming and wailing, and the creeping vomit-fest, I opted to leave a day early. I'm very glad I did so, but apologies to those who stayed till the end and did all the cleaning. I think I was one of the last few there last year, though, doing a fair bit of it, so I won't cripple myself with guilt over it.

At the moment, I don't think I would go to Melrose again. Jade will have to be an awful lot better socially for it to be worth me braving the stomach-bug risk again, I think.

Monday and Tuesday

Brief notes only - made blogging notes yesterday to remind myself but haven't got enough time to pad them out too much.

Monday - Story of the World - beginning of India chapter/Indus River. Map. Tried to get Jade to attempt narration but not much effort.

Maths - adding and subtracting chocolate drops and Cuisenaire rods - 2 pages Miquon. Introduced the idea of multiplication and 3 x tables (already can do 2s).

Spanish DVD.

Making fairy kit / daisy chain kit

Tuesday - face painting first thing which led to lots of lovely giggles. Read some Sonlight Books - "Finding Out about Everyday Things" - under the sea/waves. Talked about mammals/plankton/food chains/fish/gills. Then read "Living long ago" - caves. Read all of "A Dolphin story". Did some measuring with feet/hands and Jade made the link to measuring horses in hands which is 4".

We also had a visit from the speech therapist but for some reason Jade got extremely stroppy/upset when she arrived - possibly because she commented on Jade's painted face? Don't know. She got very bad-tempered and unco-operative, hit Shannon, got put on the stairs for time-out and she stormed off upstairs. She then refused to have anything to do with anybody until the SLT was about to leave, then insisted on showing her the bit of dog-training she'd been doing, making Poppy sit and stay. When I tried to talk to her about it later and find out what had made her so stroppy, she just said, twice, "I don't know anything about it." Strange, as she usually looks forward to the SLT sessions. But we do get quite a lot of this stroppy/angry/upset behaviour and she absolutely refuses to discuss it at all.

Today: I was working all day although with a Dr appt this morning and yet another dental appt this afternoon I wasn't there much - will book it as a half-day off. It's easier to make appts for when the kids are being looked after by DH! While I was gone Jade has worked some way through a "Nutrition Mission" CD-Rom and they've looked at/talked about rocks and shells. By the time I got in they were in the middle of watching Snow White on the big screen.

I'm hoping that the dentist has been successful this third time of working on my tooth - I think we may have done the trick this time! Had more nice driving in the sunshine listening to JD, though, so not so bad!

Snore .......

I am so so so tired today - and therefore extremely grumpy and horrid to be with. For the second night running, Shannon was awake for a nightmarish length of time during the night. I have no idea why unless it's because I had one cup of coffee during the MORNING! I coped yesterday after one bad night's sleep because the girls were at playgroup/childminder all day as I had a conference to go to and speak at in Gloucester. A second bad night and being single-handed child carer are not going well together!

Still, I have managed to complete a mystery shopping assignment (phone call) and have been greatly cheered up by the arrival of "Autograph" by John Denver on CD. It's been an extremely rare album for years, although I did have a copy on tape. With no working tape player in the car I haven't listened to it for a couple of years, but just spotted that AT LAST it has been issued on CD and I am over the moon - def. about my favourite JD CD! (Although now I look closely I see it has a date of 2001 on it - ah well, better late than never!)

I think it's about time for a long DVD for the girls and a nap for me. ZZzzzzzz

Tuesday tantrums

Tooth traumas continued this morning ... thankfully I had been forewarned by several other bloggers that sometimes, little girls get quite emotional about their teeth falling out and don't want to lose them. Unfortunately, it seems I had failed to warn Jade that the 'tooth fairy' (she knows it's me) takes the tooth away when the money is left!!! So she was completely traumatised when it was gone this morning. She wailed hysterically at me "Where is my tooth?" and when I told her it was in my jewellery box (phew!) she went and got it and then threw it and the £1 down the stairs at me and sobbed that she didn't want them! She went off and cried in her room for a couple of minutes, and then came down sobbing even more because now she'd lost the tooth. Oh dear, it's hard to be 6!! Thankfully she did find it on the stairs and eventually peace was restored, and she decided she did want both the tooth and the money. Thankfully I managed to remain calm throughout her storm of emotions.

Despite the rocky start, the rest of the day went OK. While upstairs getting dressed Shannon found my jewellery box open on the bed (left there by Jade), investigated several items in it, and discovered a little locket with a teeny tiny picture of Benjamin inside that somebody gave me when he died. Jade then drew her attention to the other picture of Benjamin that we have in our bedroom, and Shannon said she wanted to see "Benjamim's book". So downstairs we came and got out the as yet unfinished scrapbook I had done for Ben, and all spent some time looking through that. This prompted discussions about intensive care, what the word "intensive" means, family relationships, the heart, fetal life and how babies don't have air in their lungs while in utero, but have 'water' instead, so they can't cry, but they do wake and sleep; dying, heaven and eternal life! Didn't plan that into this morning's curriculum!!!!

After having read the myth about Gilgamesh from Story of the World yesterday, I gave her the choice of drawing a 'half-man, half-animal' or creating a fairy-tale/myth of her own which I would write down. Strangely, for a girl with such a gift for reading/words and all things literacy-related, she seems unconfident about writing a story herself and so chose to do the pic. I sat with her to do one as well, so she drew a half-horse/half-man (of course!) and called it "Skewbald-Man" and accompanied it by other unrealities, such as the moon inside the sun, a half-bush/half-tree, a bird with one wing and one arm, and the ground with half-grass, half-mud. I did a "spider-man". I did get the camera and pics together at one point with the intention of blogging the pics, but got distracted and it never happened.

I then received a phone call, so the girls wandered off and started playing something or other which required Jade to go outside and cut the grass with a pair of scissors and bring the grass inside to put onto trays. After she had brought it in and started playing she discovered she didn't have enough and I offered (phone call ended by then) to get her some more. So I found myself in the slightly surreal position of being outside in the garden cutting our grass with scissors, and hoping fervently that the neighbours couldn't see me and think I was a complete nutter! Needless to say before long there was grass all over the living room carpet, so cleaning instructions were issued and to her credit she did a reasonable job of clearing it all up. Meanwhile I was getting lunch. After lunch I read a bit of bible, and she urged me on and on and I ended up doing about the next 3 weeks' worth of Sonlight bible readings all in one go. Then I quickly threw together a cheese & sweetcorn flan, cooked it, and then we went off swimming. We met 2 other HE families at the pool so the girls were mostly happily occupied playing and splashing around and I got more chance than usual to actually get a bit of exercise. Then out of the pool, a quick visit to a friend's house, and home for tea.

The tooth is out!

At last!!! I'm sure her bottom two front teeth have been very wobbly for about 6 months, and it seems like forever I've been saying "it won't be long now till they come out". In fact, they've been there so long that her two new teeth have already come up and grown considerably. But at last, her very first baby tooth has fallen out. It caused a bit of trauma and tears at the time from the scariness of it, but after a long cuddle and some time sitting together reading stories, she seemed to be fine and happy. She gets very cross with me when I mention the tooth fairy, because she's already established that such a creature doesn't really exist (she insisted that I tell her the truth at the same time as she asked about Santa) so she knows that it's parental money that will be slipped under her pillow.

The other good news from today is that .... she will be able to go riding with Riding for the Disabled!!! The psychiatrist suggested it at the meeting we had last week, and we have spoken to the lady who runs the local group who says it is open to anybody who can benefit physically or emotionally from it, so she is happy to take her! She is very excited.

Silence is golden....?

I just had rather a pleasant morning, despite the down-side of sitting in the dentist's chair for about 45 minutes in the middle, being jabbed and drilled. But I got to drive there and back all on my own, which meant I had peace, quiet, time to think and time to listen to John Denver, to whom I have been listening for so long (30 years....!) that almost every song has a memory attached. It felt so .... healing .... to just be able to let myself go wherever the music took me.

Because DH now works at the university where I took my degree (10 years ago, wow!) and that's the only NHS dentist we could find, the trip took me to Oxford and to the place where I spent one of the happiest times of my life. I was musing on that as I walked past, today, and realised that much of the absolute pleasure I got from it was having hours and hours to sit and think - about nutrition as I sat in the library and researched topics, feeling like a detective as one research paper lead me to another and to another, but also about everything else about my life as I drove to and fro or studied at home.

I may have asked this before on this blog, but what do you do when what is best for your children is not what's best for you? If I knew that my children would be happy and fulfilled at school, then I'd probably grab the chance because I am so, so craving time on my own. How I wish I had time to follow up all the things that interest me, to sort myself out a bit, to do all the stuff that needs doing instead of always feeling like I'm drowning in a backlog, which leads me to not want to take on anything else (including any projects/activities the girls suggest) because I already feel I have too much on my plate. But I absolutely can't do that, not only because of all home education's benefits in general and having been utterly convinced that it is by far the better way, but also because of Jade's particular difficulties that mean she would be utterly miserable in school and of course I could never be happy about that. So somehow I have to find some time for myself, and none of the options are easy.

Talking of Jade, DH and I met with the psychiatrist and the speech therapist yesterday to discuss progress with the selective mutism. Actually, I have decided I would much prefer to use the name that one Canadian group gives it, which is Social Communication Anxiety Disorder, as it is so much more than just not being able to speak in certain situations. In stressful situations, body language becomes frozen too, as she attempts to disappear so that nobody can take any notice of her at all. And she seems to be anxious about moving forward with many life skills, such as brushing her own teeth, cutting her own food - it is noticeable that Shannon is already catching up fast in some of these areas and is far more keen to 'do it myself' than Jade ever was at her age. The upshot of the discussions is that we will continue the progress with the speech therapist for a few more sessions, but then she needs to slide out of the process so that we can introduce others. We have got to the stage where Jade will, somewhat reluctantly and still with a bit of difficulty, answer the speech therapist's simple questions, e.g. what is your favourite colour, or play games involving guessing the correct answers to riddles and speak out with the answer, so we now have to try and extend that into becoming proper conversation and then doing the same thing while out and about instead of just at home. Then we have to go through the same process with some other adult, who can then take over as keyworker, and gradually generalise the process out to more people and situations. It's going to take a long time though. We decided that the childminder we've been using for Shannon might well be the best person to get Jade talking to next, and the psychiatrist suggested we apply for Disability Living Allowance to enable us to do that and pay for it. Then, at least, I would have some reliable childcare for Jade, as she refuses to go to most people and my parents are now too old, and not geographically close enough, to help regularly. It really is tough when your child really can't bear to be looked after by anyone else. I do worry about her, a lot, particularly in the small hours of the morning when Shannon wakes me up and then I can't fall back to sleep for agonising over what I/we may have done to cause this in Jade. I know it doesn't help, but logic doesn't work very well at 3am.

Anyway, as I am at work I really must get on, but I really had to get that lot off my mind before I could concentrate on anything else.

I'm soooooooo behind!

I don't know what's happened to my (even previously limited) free time lately - it just seems to completely disappear and I can barely find a moment to blog. Lots has been going on, such as Jade's RIDING LESSONS!!! Which she has been utterly thrilled about. Yes, I do have pics from the first one but don't make me try and guess when I will get time to upload them. And there's been some nice educational stuff too, though not as much as part of me thinks there 'should' have been! And Shannon, despite being generally adorable, is developing a particularly fierce temper when things don't go her way and Jade is a bit scared of her!

I've just been attempting to do my Tax Return online but realise my figures don't add up - the trouble is I didn't do any record-keeping on Usborne Books for about the past year apart from keeping piles of invoices, so currently the figures look as though I lost about £600 and although I don't think I did very well, I don't think I lost THAT much! So will have to try and search around for some more info.

Gotta go and find some food for dinner before disappearing off to show this month's film to the good folk of this little Cotswold town - Bridge to Terabithia. Will try and do better blogging in the next few days.

So how did I do?

I thought it would be amusing to review last year's aims (I didn't even give them the status of resolutions!) and see how I got on.

Children:

* Night-wean Shannon - Failed. Am currently trying AGAIN!!!
* Get Jade doing regular chores - Partly successful. She now knows she is responsible for making her own bed, feeding the dog, helping to sweep/mop the kitchen floor and tidy the living room before going to bed. Sometimes she even does them!
* Get Jade to usually sleep in her own bed all night Pretty much. Because I'm usually in Shannon's bed by the early hours of the morning, Jade often creeps in with us but it's usually not till 5 or 6am so that's pretty good going.
* Much less television - maximum half-an-hour in the morning while I have breakfast and 1 hour in the evening. Failed abysmally. It's on far more than that.

Home-Ed:

* Try actually sticking to the Sonlight K curriculum for at least 3 months to see if it works for us like that - We didn't get anywhere near it from January, but from September we've got on fairly well. I'm not sure it does work for us but we're going to stick with it till I find a better way.
* Otherwise concentrate with Jade on maths and writing. Zilch on the maths. She doesn't like it. She's spontaneously writing more, though, and I still want to encourage more.
* Do more practical stuff like making historical meals, dressing up etc. Not much done. Failure of energy and imagination.

Personal:

* Regular stretching exercise - I can feel myself stiffening up - Nope, not done.
* Regular prayer/quiet time Well, I've made attempts in the past few months - probably manage it about twice a week.
* More sex (once a year isn't enough, DH says.....) Erm.....
* Less web-browsing
* more book reading Nope - neither of these achieved.

Home:

* Keep up-to-date with finances Nope.
* Reduce debt (currently £10,000 or £15,000 if you count the student loan which I am hoping never to have to pay back) - see above. I haven't kept up with the finances so I don't currently know how much it all adds up to.
* Redecorate at least some of the areas in this house that have never been done since we moved here 10 years ago, i.e. dining room; hall/stairs/landing; kitchen. - Not done. Still planning!

Business:

* Get at least 2 more Usborne recruits by the end of April
* Do at least one event per week, preferably 2
* Organise paperwork
None of these done. In fact, I did one Usborne event in March, one in November, and that was it!!!!

Hmmm, not such a good showing then. I'd better sleep on it and decide what to carry forward to 2008!

Saw this at Jax's...

83 words

Touch Typing

Parenting problems

Had to take the Christmas tree down this evening. Jade (who surely is old enough to know better) simply cannot keep her hands off the ornaments. She has broken 3 of my favourite ones so far, and was told very clearly and firmly NOT to take any more stuff off the tree. She has since taken two more down, both of them my most precious ones, so I told her that since she couldn't seem to control herself, the tree and its ornaments would have to be removed. So DH and I instantly packed everything away and took it down.

Actually she is severely testing our patience in many ways lately. I hate to say it, because naturally I love her anyway but it has to be admitted that she is rather selfish and badly-behaved quite often. I am torn between wanting to rant about it, and not wanting to set out all her worst behaviour in public. It probably doesn't help, from Jade's point of view, that Shannon is incredibly sweet-natured and adorable, so the contrast between the two is particularly stark. We are planning a couple of ways to try and address the problem, but unfortunately my natural reaction is to yell and shout and come down on her very hard, and it has little effect, except possibly to make the situation worse. And then I'm conscious that if my self-control isn't that good, then why should hers be?

I once read that parenting is the most intensive self-development course you can ever undergo. That person was right.

And so this is Christmas...

Can you imagine the awful feeling in my stomach when I woke in the middle of the night and realised I had forgotten to do Jade's main present!!!!!!! As she's been completely pony-mad for the last 6 months, I decided to give her what my parents gave me one Christmas (only I was about 10 years old, not 6) and pay for some riding lessons. During last evening I was browsing online clip art, trying to find a nice outline of a horse I could arrange the text in and print out, couldn't find anything suitable and shut it down .... and promptly forgot all about it in the rush of finishing wrapping presents, finding all the other things that I'd hidden round the house over the past few weeks, and collapsing exhausted into bed. So that middle-of-the-night stomach-clenching realisation was a bit of a shock to the system, and put the final touch to an already disturbed night of Shannon's usual 2-hourly wakings and Jade waking at some phenomenally early hour and chattering away about how she hates it when her stocking is empty (it wasn't - I don't think she'd even checked it at that stage) and keeping me awake for ages before finally falling asleep again. I contemplated going downstairs to quickly write a card for Jade in the middle of the night, but because I as usual fell asleep while waiting for Shannon to go into a deep enough sleep to leave her, I didn't manage it. So when Jade showed up just after 8am and had to be reminded to go and check if Santa had been and filled her stocking and getting both girls installed in our big bed opening presents, I nipped downstairs, cut out a quick pic from her pony magazine, stuck it in a Christmas card and wrote a few words. Phew!!! One day maybe I'll learn not to procrastinate so much .... but not yet, I'll leave it till later.

Aside from that, a good time has been had by all! Stocking gifts were received with delight and then we all came downstairs. Shannon has a perfect breathy "Wow" that warms the heart, this time at the pile of presents under the tree. As expected, Jade rushed through her gifts one after another, very pleased with each one but then rushing on to see more and more.... whereas 20 minutes after opening her first gift (Charlie & Lola books) Shannon was still sitting looking through them. Jade was thankfully particularly pleased at the Pegasus horse (from Barbie & the Magic of Pegasus film) which was the only thing she'd repeatedly asked for (and bought at a rather high price second-hand off Ebay - it was the one gift I simply had to get) but she wasn't expecting the matching Barbie with her wand of light (bought gratifyingly cheaply brand-new off Ebay due to a poor title in the listing) and she's thrilled with that too. Shannon loves her Talking Upsy-Daisy, her pink and white hobby-unicorn to match Jade's purple one, and both of them have loved Shannon's kitchen from Grandpa, with cooking noises and flashing lights! I can see myself tearing the batteries out of it before too long, but we'll see! Jade hasn't made much comment about the riding lessons, but when the time comes and it's more real I know she's going to be over the moon. As for me, I was surprised and very pleased to find a fab new camera from DH, as I lost my old one a few months ago, kept expecting it to turn up somewhere round the house but it hasn't so must be very careful with this one!

We went out to church this morning, got back and I prepared lunch while everyone else played/tidied and lunch was finally ready around 2.45pm and was excellent! The girls have played like mad for the rest of the day, going from Barbie/Pegasus games to cooking/kitchen games to doll's house games and then back to Barbie/Pegasus again, with not too many altercations along the way. At 5pm we all settled on the sofa to watch Polar Express which I hadn't seen before and I thought was fab, so I'm glad I videoed that one for future use! Didn't bother doing any tea, just nibbles, and then the girls went to bed around 7.30pm.

There's still loads more for us all to explore over the next few days, like the WebKinz toys the girls got from their American cousins, the Pony Club PC game we got for Jade and some craft kits and games, so hoping for a continuation of the nice relaxing holiday feel.

Yes, we have Christmas lunch! (just)

I really must stop being so haphazard about things. Not having got round to planning anything much about Christmas food or gone food shopping till today (partly because I refused to go with the children, and partly 'cos I'm plain lazy), I confidently told Bill to go out this morning and I would go and sort out the food after we'd been out to visit our friends this afternoon. Surely shops stay open late just before Christmas and Tesco would be open till about 10pm? I was a bit taken aback when said friends told me, just as we were leaving at around 5pm, that they thought pretty much everywhere was shutting early... Well, of course they're shutting early, it's Christmas Eve - where on earth was my brain when I needed it earlier??! I dropped everybody off at home and went off to Tesco - got there at 5.15 to find they shut at 5pm. Oh well, I thought, we've got the turkey (no carrots, hardly any potatoes), we've got sprouts, (no Christmas pudding), but we do have one box of mince pies (no cream or brandy butter) ... well it would have been a bit of a disappointing Christmas lunch but we wouldn't starve ..... But thank goodness Budgens was open (till 7pm!) so I spent plenty of money and got us a feast!!!! No croissants or brioche for breakfast, disappointingly, but plenty of other yummy stuff.

The other thing I've been haphazard about is the Jesse Tree. We've frequently missed days and had to catch up 2 or 3 days in a row, and tomorrow we're going to have to do the last 4 days all at once!! (sigh) I never was much good at routine.

Still, presents are purchased and (mostly) wrapped - just stocking stuff to do now. Jade is excited but under instructions not to open her stocking if she wakes when it's still dark - well, it's worth a try even though I don't suppose she'll take any notice.

So, I'd better press on and tie up the last few loose ends. Have a Merry Christmas, everyone!

Nice weekend

To church this morning, where Jade's little group of 5-8 year olds practised for next week's nativity performance - Jade's going to be an angel and I think Shannon's supposed to be a shepherd (aaaahhh!). And there was a lovely moment for me when I was chatting to a woman, and commented that I'd better be getting going because (and then I turned to Jade and said) "What are we going to do this afternoon?" (not expecting a verbal answer, just excited jumping up and down or something, and she shouted out loud "Christmas Tree"!!! In front of someone who was looking at her!!! Wow, I hardly dare imagine her starting to talk to people, but it is so thrilling to see these little steps of progress!

Then home for a quick lunch and tidy up to make space for the imminent arrival of the Tree! Took the girls off to the garden centre to choose an appropriate specimen, and then home for decorating fun. To the accompaniment of Christmas music, of course. I love that bit of christmas! While I was busy doing the bits only I could do, the girls (including L from next door) were acting out the nativity story. We got many of the other decs up in the past couple of days. Just need to do the wreath with the greenery that we collected in our walk in the woods on Friday.

Took a few moments here and there through the day to remember that 9 years ago today, Bill and I went for my 20 week scan in my first pregnancy very excited and looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby, only to find out a whole lot more and ending the day a whole lot sadder and wiser. Dec 16th will be engraved on my heart for the rest of my life as the day I really lost my innocence, I think.

Yesterday the whole family tripped off to Oxford to meet my Mum and cousin to exchange Christmas presents. We had lunch at the Ashmolean Museum cafe and had a quick look at some of the Egyptian artefacts they have there, and then went over to the Museum of Natural History and Pitt Rivers Museum for the rest of the afternoon. So lots and lots of informal and fun learning went on, for everyone! If I was Nic I would describe each and every piece we looked at and discussed, but instead, it's 10.45pm and I just want to go to bed (could do with some matchsticks for the eyelids actually) so I can't be bothered!!

Jade did a lovely bit of spontaneous writing on Friday (we'll gloss over the fact that it was in my notebook where I (sometimes) keep track of our finances). She did a bit of contemporaneous reporting on what she and Shannon were up to: "Shannon's in the box. Now she's out. Now she's spilled her drink. Now she's on the sofa. reading my book! grrrrrrr shannon!! Now we are waching Tom and jerry. Now she's stoped... playing with my book. Like I said I Thingkck i did. eeeek! it's nearly cristmas!" followed by a lovely toothy, curly-haired self-portrait!!! One to keep for posterity, I think!

I will blog.....

...when I feel like I've got something to say.

I will just note that speech therapy for Jade is still going well, and that all pretence of educating Jade has gone out of the window for the past week or two, and normal service won't be resumed till some time in January. Shannon, however, is speeding along learning Letterland letters (at her insistence) and spending much time poring over books.

Feels like whatever I blog this evening will be boring - just don't feel inspired. I'm sure you can find entertaining blogging somewhere else if you wish. We've been doing the usual stuff - Sonlight, Beyond the Code, a lovely walk in the woods on Monday, and the rest. We had a good visit to Playschool yesterday morning, which Jade thoroughly enjoyed as well as Shannon! I think she would love to go back and is disappointed that she's too old! Shannon played very happily with her friend who already goes there, and I'm sure she'll settle in just fine. She'll start going in January, and I think I'll be sending her on a Thursday morning instead of going to the childminder, who I will ask to go and collect her, and I'll pick her up about an hour later. I may even send her on a Tuesday morning as well, if not straight away then before too long. I'm sure she'll love it, and it will be useful to have a bit of toddler-free time to do stuff with Jade.

We had a good session with the Speech Therapist on Tuesday. In the space of a 45-minute session, Jade was at the end able to say single-word responses to my questions with the ST right there in the room! Quietly, but in a normal voice, not whispering! I thought that was fabulous. She's coming again next Tuesday so hoping for more progress then too, even if it's just speaking in a louder voice. We're planning the next steps, too, along the lines of getting her similarly comfortable with speaking to another adult at church, who could then go with her into her Sunday School group instead of me going with her each week. Need to find a willing volunteer!

While I was at work today, Jade and DH had been talking about doing some sort of treasure hunt, with clues to find things, and after dinner she wanted to start straightaway. It was pretty close to bedtime, but while Jade and I were reading a Christmas story (the real St. Nicholas story), he devised a couple of rhyming clues, and then she had a fabulous time working them out and finding the hidden toys. Then, even more wonderfully, she started writing her own clues and sending me to find stuff! She did several before I finally insisted it was bed-time.

Tomorrow morning is work again, Jade coming with me while Shannon goes to the childminder. I'll get Jade doing Education City, among other things, while I'm working as that all went quite well last week. We may go up to Stratford in the afternoon as there is a book waiting for me at the library about making dolls' house furniture.

There goes another week...

Well, I've been busy! Have had various of my own organisational projects going on, and have mostly left the girls to fend for themselves. So what have I been doing, I hear you ask?!!

Well, I had a brainwave last week that, despite being signed up to Flylady and getting the e-mails every day, I didn't have a permanent list up in my house of what needs doing so that I can look at it whenever I want and see what I'm supposed to be doing today. A bit like I do with my calendar. So I made one! I have no idea how to display it in this blog but there is a list down the left-hand side of daily jobs that need doing, with a little box to tick for each day, and then on the right-hand half of the page there are jobs to do for each day of the week, i.e. the weekly jobs, OK? And the motto (from FlyLady) is "Progress, not Perfection" so even though I'm not getting it all done, at least I am doing better than I did before, so that's progress!

The other thing I've finally done today is to re-hash the menu plan I made about a year ago. I'd made several changes for a summer menu, but we've been back to the winter menu for a while now. However Jade has one-by-one decided that she doesn't like several of my staple meals. I've been in a bit of a dilemma whether to just stick to making them in the hope that she eventually gets to like them, but it's rather demoralising to have her frequently not eating the healthy dinner I've cooked and ending up with just a sandwich yet again (same as lunchtime, usually!). It's also a bit difficult when she's declared she's a vegetarian (with the exception of roast chicken which she loves, and bacon, and sausages!!!) but Shannon is a confirmed carnivore who always picks out all the meat in whatever I've cooked so she can eat it first. Anyway I've found a few different dishes which we'll try out and if that fails I'll teach her how to make her own cheese sandwich and she can do it herself every day!!

We have done some Sonlight stuff this week, including another chapter of Story of the World, a science experiment, some Beyond the Code, (but no maths). We still haven't done any more of the germs lapbook we started before we all got ill. Maybe this week! Last night she read out all the question and answer cards from the Alpha Animals game, and she's done some Education City. And endless reading in bed at night - that goes without saying!

Shannon, in the meantime, is sneaking up on the rails, and when we pulled out the Junior Scrabble board on Friday, totally astonished me by instantly taking the letter tiles and starting to match them up with the letters printed on the board. I had no idea she could do that! Bill tells me she can recognise some letters, such as pointing to 'S' and saying "that's sssssss...". I haven't been paying enough attention, obviously!!! Her counting from 1-12 is very well established, although she's still somewhat wobbly on her colours! When I was tidying up the educational bookshelves this morning, I noticed that I have several books of early play-type learning stuff that I could be doing with her, so I guess I need to start planning that in instead of just palming her off with toys while I do stuff with Jade. However we're also going to be making a visit to playschool on Tuesday morning to introduce Shannon to it, and so that I can meet the new playleader who has taken over since Jade used to go there. I can't quite decide whether to send Shannon there instead of going to the childminder on a Thursday morning, or on a different morning as an addition to it! I love the idea of saving the money I'm spending on the childminder, but OTOH Shannon gets on really well there and is very happy, and I'm reluctant to break up a happy and useful relationship. It's really useful when I need some extra childcare for either or both girls every now and then to be able to ask the childminder. I'll have to keep musing on that one. She's not going to start till January, although as I type that I realise it's only a month away!! Somehow I still thought I had a couple of months to think about it!

Finally, we have started a Jesse Tree for the first time for Advent, which I have been really looking forward to, and started that this evening.

Glad to see the back of that week!

I just lived through my worst nightmare, which thankfully turned out not to be as much of a nightmare as I'd feared, but still bad enough not to want to repeat it again ever, please!!!

All four of us, sick with D&V at the same time. In a house with only one toilet. And I am v-phobic. I'm sure you don't want me to go into all the grim details, which involved lots of towels, the porta-potti from the caravan and a very stoic and understanding husband who took over until he finally keeled over on Thursday, by which time I was beginning to recover and the girls were lots better.

However, let's look on the bright side:- I am not currently locked up somewhere for the sake of my own safety; and I threw up, yet the world didn't end. Wow!

Funnily enough, the girls had both started with runny noses on Monday morning, so I thought it an appropriate time to start doing a lapbook on germs. Apart from colds, I hadn't really planned on doing the practical, though!! We didn't get very far with it so must try and continue that this coming week.

What else? The girls have watched endless Tom & Jerry, "The Way Things Work", "The Prince of Egypt", "The Horse Whisperer" and a fair bit of CBeebies. Jade and I have read a couple of Magic Tree House books - about the Titanic and the Lakota tribe. Shannon has enjoyed lots of books, and does her best to memorise them and read them back to herself.

And now, just as I was typing up this blog, a neighbour rang on the doorbell and offered us a large doll's house!! No furniture or anything, but even so! It is one of the things I'd been contemplating getting for Christmas, but as Jade seems to want horsey-related stuff even more, it was probably going to not happen. The Lord doth provide!!!!

Finally, today Bill has gone to collect another funny little car, although this one has much more of my approval than the last one! (Okay, I just spent aaaaages looking for the link to when he bought the ahem, ahem, still can't bring myself to name it, little car and can't find it, but did have a good laugh reading this year's new year's resolutions!!!). Anyway this one is the poor-man's (French) version of a Smart Car which runs on diesel or vegetable oil! The plan is he'll commute to Oxford in it and save enough money on petrol to pay for the loan we've had to take out to buy it!!! Fingers crossed!

Tissue alert! (including for Dads)

Big blog postponed

I was all set to do a lovely catch-up blog last night of all we've been up to, but Shannon put a stop to that by developing a sickness bug just as she was about to go to bed. Suffice to say it's been an awfully long night and I have an awful lot of yucky washing to get done. She's doing OK, though still throwing up every now and then. I'm a nervous wreck in fear of catching it.

However, despite that, I have it officially that we are not a completely dysfunctional family in need of therapy!! The psychiatrist from Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services has phoned up this morning to say that the only treatment they think Jade needs for the selective mutism is the standard 'small-steps' exposure treatment which the speech and language therapist has started with Jade already (in fact she should have been here today but we cancelled her due to all the sickness). The psychiatrist will keep a kind of watching brief and have a couple of meetings with DH and I to chat over how we think things are going, but at least they haven't suggested family therapy or anything else!! We must be (fairly) normal!!!!

This made me really sad:

My Dad brings along the weekly 'Family' section of the Guardian. I've got rather behind and had a big pile of them to read, and just found this article which was in the 25th August paper. I thought it was desperately sad that it is accepted as necessary and normal to do this to such little children.

Real birthday pics

These are a few pics of Shannon on her birthday - the ones I posted below were earlier ones as I couldn't download the proper birthday pics straightaway.

Updates

I've updated my blogroll on the sidebar, in case anyone's interested in a bit of browsing.

Ramblings

Firstly, a big thank-you (in an awed 'how-does-she-do-it' tone of voice) must go to Nic for being such a fabulous camp organiser, chef, hostess and everything else. My first NicCamps experience had its highs and lows for me but I'm glad I went, and certainly the girls had a great time. For me, Wednesday was the best day, when everybody went to the beach, where the kids had a fabulous time and I enjoyed sitting in November sunshine, eating chips and chatting. It was lovely.

I don't shine in groups, though, as I do much better in one-to-one or very small group situations, once I've got to know people well and can trust them, and I do feel very self-conscious about being quiet and feeling not fully integrated into the group. I'm not good at being funny or joining in lively banter, and I so envy those that are. I'm not a quick thinker; I am a deep thinker, and that takes time! So I feel a bit out of place in the evening chats, not to mention that I am always tired and longing to go to bed by about 10pm!!

On Tuesday I promised to take Jade swimming, as Tuesday is our normal swimming afternoon and she was longing to go. So we missed the walk which sounds as though it was great fun, although it would probably have been difficult as both of my girls would have wanted carrying after about 15 minutes. Instead we drove off to find a swimming pool. Nic directed me to two - the first one I found quite easily but it was shut for staff training followed by lessons; the second one I couldn't find, despite clear directions. (It turned out to have been only about 20 yards further on than the place where I turned round and went back.) So we ended up on Shoreham beach, but without coats, so we didn't stay long. Despite that, Jade had a fabulous time jumping the little waves for about 5 or 10 minutes, and then 5 minutes in the nearby park, and then I was too cold and insisted we went back to the hostel.

I was tired on Thursday, having tried to put on a better show and stay up till midnight the night before. It does not suit me, when Shannon is still waking several times per night. If I had 7 hours straight I would probably be OK, but as it was I was tired and grumpy on Thursday morning The kids' cabaret was fantastic, though - I loved, loved, loved it! After that I thought it would just be hanging around the hostel until the party at 4pm. So it was a big surprise to me when the place pretty much emptied at 2pm and people disappeared off in all directions apart from those staying to prepare the party. So I disappeared to my room, with accompanying girls, of course, who got busy on a computer CD-Rom while I dozed or read my magazine. At 3pm Jade reminded me that I'd promised we could go out and get some strawberries for her, so we went down to the supermarket, wandered around a bit, got some strawberries, and some new pyjamas for me (I only had one complete pair of pyjamas and I bought them when pregnant with Benjamin!!) and then back for the party. Which was fabulous. And extremely well organised!! And great fun for everyone, I think, even Jade who does not like joining in party games. I was impressed that she had a go at the 'acting out the phrase on a Love Heart' game, with my help.

Took the slow way home on Friday, firstly going to visit some old friends, a retired couple who used to live in Stratford-on-Avon, who I absolutely adore and it was fabulous to see them for the first time in about 4 years. Then on to my Mum's in Alton to pick up the dog. We left there about 4pm and called in to see Bill at work in Oxford on the way home. We eventually got home at 7pm, though Shannon had slept in the car at lunchtime so neither of them went to bed till about 10pm.

Today has been rather gloomy at home with various pressures and strains rising to the surface and not being dealt with very well. The word 'congruence' keeps coming to mind, which apart from its maths usage is the psychological term for being integrated inwardly and outwardly, i.e. what you feel inside is the way you behave outwardly. I'm not good at it. Actually I'm rambling, but I'm bloody miserable so I can't think straight. I'd better stop.

"I'm not birthday girl, I'm Shannon!"

Yes, my baby is 3!!! I can hardly believe it's 3 years since that unexpectedly early home-birth. From that tiny baby, she's grown into a funny, feisty and formidable character, who goes from lecturing me ("don't you do that!") to affectionate cuddles and kisses in the space of just a moment or two. She so knows her own mind, is fierce with her anger and her love, and is in no doubt at all about who she is ... her favourite statement is "I'm not (gorgeous/a monkey/cuteypie, whatever's just been said to her), I'm Shannon!!" She's a dancer, a comedienne, a story-teller and a book-lover. She loves to turn the pages of the Sonlight Instructor Guide or any other folder of paper, and she loves to bounce anywhere and everywhere. She adores her big sister, and so wants to be like her, but doesn't want anyone to be like she is - "stop copying me!!" being her second-favourite phrase! She has brought such a lot of joy and laughter into our lives and we're all completely in love with her, even Jade, though she'll only admit it when Shannon's asleep. We're so glad we got to have her in our family! Happy Birthday for yesterday, Shannon - I hope you never grow out of those kisses and cuddles!

Working Wednesday

Not much to report from yesterday as I was working all day. Girls stayed at home with Bill. I think the most enthusiastic learning took place in the early evening, when I was at my computer and Bill was in the living room, looking at a book about the Titanic, with Jade. They spent ages looking at it together, with Jade asking many questions and Bill answering. It was lovely to hear her so interested in it.

Today I had offered to give somebody a lift to our Gloucester office, so had to be up and out by 9am to collect her and drive her over. Took the girls too, and borrowed the work cash-and-carry card for the first time. There were definitely some bargains to be had if you have sufficient storage space for bulk buying, which I don't. I did get some stuff, but have not yet compared prices to see how much cheaper it is than Tesco's. I'll have to muse on how much it's worth trying to clear storage space to be able to buy stuff in bulk.

After that we were starving, so we went to the nearby Sainsbury's for lunch, followed by a quick shop. Most needed item was new socks for Jade, but I was also delighted when I saw a dress reduced from £22 to £2, so I grabbed that! I wasn't sure how 'me' it was, but for a couple of quid it was worth a try, and actually it's pretty nice! We'll skim over the fact that Jade commented this evening that I look like I'm going to have another baby .... thanks for nothing, kid! So I may have been enjoying chocolate and crisps a bit too much lately......

Anyway, then we drove back home to spend an afternoon with my Dad who came over to deliver Shannon's birthday present (it's on Saturday) and to collect some printouts from the web I'd done for him. So that was a nice couple of hours.

And then we sat and watched "March of the Penguins" which I'd rented to follow up a little on our viewing of "Happy Feet" which we saw a couple of weeks ago during National Schools Film Week. Jade sat all the way through it and watched with interest, I was pleased to see. I thought it was amazing.

Then the usual dinner, a little TV, a bit of playing, and a lot of procrastination about bedtime. But now all is quiet.

Another good'un

It felt like another positive day today, despite not getting much underway till after 11am. Before that it was breakfast, showering (me), bathing (girls) (Jade loves baths and always wants one after I shower and stays in for ages!), second breakfast, Jade and I both spending ages reading the Bright Minds catalogue which arrived in the post and marking up various interesting-looking things, getting the dry washing in, the wet washing on the line, another load in the machine, and brushing a cushion's worth of fluff from the dog!

After that I persuaded her to have another go at some copywork she (deliberately) messed up yesterday, then she did a couple of pages from the Letts Maths (5-6) workbook, and then we had lunch!

I read some more chapters of "My Father's Dragon", and then we had a quick look at "Everyday Things" or whatever that Usborne book is called, which was a couple of pages about trees, then she answered a few questions about what we'd read.

Meanwhile Shannon spent a LOT of time turning the pages of the Sonlight Instructor Guide. For some reason, she finds this absolutely fascinating and can spend ages doing it!

I thought there was something else at that stage, some more reading or something, but I can't remember what. Whatever. Afterwards, we started carving our pumpkins!! I went online and found a free pattern that I liked (cat sitting on the moon, + stars), and Jade stayed with the traditional grinning toothy face. Both girls helped scoop out the gunk from inside - er, actually no they didn't because Shannon didn't like the feel of it and was wailing that it was 'gloddy' when she got some gloop on her arm and foot - a lovely word, I thought! She did help clean the top of the hob, though! Then I carved, and cleared up, and roasted pumpkin seeds, while they went off and played. The pumpkin seeds were ready, and none of us liked them - they were too woody.

By now it was around 4pm so I got the girls dressed (usual barely-clothed state most of the day) and we gathered up most of our library books and went to get a new batch, ready for being away next week. Then the girls watched more Tom & Jerry on DVD while I made dinner. Shannon took ages to fall asleep and I got cross with her, and Jade is still awake (10.45pm).

P.S. 2 soggy accidents today from Shannon plus 3 successful potty visits.

Oh, and FWIW, as a PS to yesterday Jade spent quite a while (with my help and encouragement) on Education City and I got her doing some of the literacy activities she hadn't done before and she did really well. She hasn't done any of the maths. No surprises there then!

Pants!

Yesterday, Shannon wore pants all day for the first time! relatively successfully! I think there was one 'accident' in the mid-afternoon but the rest of the time she did very well. And we even went out for the morning, to church. She is very good at using the potty/toilet when naked, but previously whenever clothed she would just assume she had a nappy on and use it! I decided to persist with the pants, though, and just keep checking/reminding her to use the potty.

Today hasn't been quite so good as she said she needed a poo but refused to go on the potty, or have a nappy on, so just made a horrid mess! I put everything she was wearing in the bin! Ah well, on the whole we're making progress of a sort.

I hadn't meant for last week to slip by with no 'work' going on, but with L-from-next-door round here most of the time it was difficult to get on with anything much. We decided to get back to it this morning, and I had just settled down with everyone on the sofa to get on with the story of Moses when the doorbell rang and there was L again! One of those dratted Inset days! Anyway, I just made her sit and listen too, and she and Jade both seemed to really enjoy the story, read from two different books, from Moses' birth all the way through to the Ten Commandments, all territory which we haven't covered before so that was good.

By then it was lunchtime! OK, so before the Moses stuff we had done some tidying, dancing, and general procrastination!

After lunch I had to do something about the dire lack of food in the house, so took all 3 girls to the local small supermarket where they were incredibly LOUD but at one point we all had a fit of the giggles so I thought that was an improvement on the demeanour of most people when shopping!

The rest of the afternoon the girls have played with another girl from across the road, mostly on the trampoline. In fact L and J just appeared downstairs naked except for towels wrapped round them and announced they were going to do a 'naked dance'! Sadly L's brother then called for her to go home for tea, so that delight will have to wait for another day!!

Okaaaaaay.....

Don't know why I've been MIA, really. Been quite busy but also just got out of the habit of blogging, I guess.

I really don't think I've got this HE thing quite right for our family, TBH, but not really got time to work out anything much different to what we are doing. We have Sonlight K, which officially we started in January and we are currently on Week 6!!! Obviously we get very sidetracked. I've been trying to stick to it more recently, just to see what it's like to have a definite programme to follow and to see if it works for us, and I'm not sure that it does. We are doing a fair bit of non-SL stuff, e.g. Story of the World, and Miquon maths (which isn't listed in the schedule even though a maths programme is part of the SL plan) plus all sorts of other bits and pieces I have picked up here and there, and yet I feel a great pressure to do as much of the stuff listed for each day as possible, regardless of whether it's working or not. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this yet, except keep a kind of 'watching brief' on it. I do feel I'd like to get significantly further into SL K before dropping it. Maybe we will find a way of using it without me feeling so compelled to either follow it or feel as though we are 'behind'. I do feel it is helping us (Jade and me in particular) to get into the habit of sitting down and doing a bit of formal work each morning, and then I feel more relaxed about just letting the rest of the day unfold.

Anyway, after all of that preamble, yesterday we started some Miquon simple addition and subtraction. Now, we've done this a few times before, but there's been quite a gap since we last did much maths. It's amazing to me, though, that a girl age 6y who has a reading age of somewhere between 9 and 10 (last time I checked) has such trouble with very simple numbers. For example, at one point today I asked her 1 + 1, and it took her a good 5 seconds to work out the answer! After coming up against this problem yesterday, though, I got out the Cheerios to use as manipulatives. Maths is much more fun when you get to eat the answer when you get it correct! We were just doing very simple addition and subtraction up to 10. I think doing this for several days in a row just for 5-10 minutes at a time should help, and she enjoyed it so much yesterday that she actually asked to do it again today! She really does seem to find the simplest mental arithmetic surprisingly hard, though.

We then went on to do three pages of 'Beyond the Code', which she has no trouble with at all. We did a couple more pages of that today too.

At lunch time yesterday we continued with her current passionate love of all things horsey by showing her the 'Join Up' video with Monty Roberts, aka 'The Horse Whisperer' - the original! It's absolutely stunning, and I would have thought that even the non-horsey couldn't fail to be impressed and amazed at the man's learning of equine body language, and what he does with it. It always moves me to tears when a wild horse moves towards him to 'join up' with him - it really is almost spiritual and deeply powerful.

I also attempted to make her a 'woollie' horse (link supplied by Sally) which came out looking more like a giraffe, and she wasn't motivated to have a go on her own!!

In the afternoon we went out to do a bit of food shopping and visit the Post Office, and she nagged me into buying her a 'Pony World' magazine because it had a free 'angel pony' on the front, which she has played with ever since. After we got home, it was time for next-door-neighbour L to come round and play, so that was that!

Today we've done the Cheerios/miquon maths, a bit more Beyond the Code, I've read a library book 'Tarquin the Wonder Horse' and looked at a Trains book, both before we go to the library this afternoon and change them. I've also got her whizzing quite quickly through one of the free Letts workbooks picked up free through that St Ivel Advance Milk promotion - oh I see that all the free books have gone now but you can still get 50% off Letts workbooks. I got an age 5-6 one seeing as she finds it such a struggle, and also to check if we'd left any gaps in her early maths! She did 9 pages of that this morning, and most of it was pretty easy but there's nothing wrong with making her feel that maths is easy!!

Meanwhile, Shannon was sitting with us at the table, looking through her BBC Toybox magazine, doing a bit of colouring, a bit of playdough, and a bit of being a nuisance!

They're currently watching Tom & Jerry and we're off swimming this afternoon, and then to drop in to the library on the way home.

The Mom's Overture

One of these days I will blog properly, honest, but for now, here's another one of these:

My own feelings precisely!